Selam Hiz’boche, salutations from Wondu and the marvel that is Wondinet Haile.

Two years prior to last I had been in Moscow after years on Wall Street and my only connection to Ethiopia was bernos.

I bought the entire bernos tee collection and connected with Nolawi and his tales, who I admire for his ability to bond with people like me all over the world. I even shared a few accounts, after some encouragement

After moving to DC I asked him for meet up over drinks; he declined by saying that if he was to meet random people that he knew online ‘he wouldn’t have time for his personal life.’ I know blunt, but I respected the honesty!

I offered him his favorite bottle of 18 years aged Chivas and a steak dinner. Over Wednesday evening we exchanged stories of Ethiopian women.

You see, after a major breakup years ago, I hadn’t found someone else. In Moscow, I say was a sugar daddy to 22 year old ‘eastern European model look-alike.’

I didn’t know the inner working of dating Ethiopian ladies outside of my ex-fiancée who I dated for 3 years long ago.

I am not the best looking guy and I am aging fast but I make it up by hitting the gym 3 times a week, making as much money as I can so I can wear my Armani suits and Salvatore Ferragamo shoes and being as funny as an Ethiopian Bernie Mac.

I met a few attractive Ethiopian ladies, and I took them out and entertained them. One seemed like she was interested but hesitated when it came to physical contact. She would call me again and again to hang out and a few months fly but she said she was not ready to take it to the next step.

I didn’t mind having the other, somewhat younger and possibly viewed as a trophy; on my arms even though she was not as cultured as I would have liked. Half a dozen dates later, she started spending the nights.

It seemed like she liked downtown condo more than she liked me. And I asked her what she wanted; she maintained that she is not exclusive with me. She would commit with me only if the other guy doesn’t commit.  She insisted sleeping with both of us, but she was keeping her options open then she kept it open and I took back my spare keys.

These were the types of things, I talked to Nolawi about. And I am writing this as a thank you note for the best advice that was given to me in a long time.

I am rephrasing here but something to this extent:

‘Ethiopian women have more  options than the male counterpart and thus reinforcing their options by being available how they want it confuses them, because women in general are unsure about what to go for when it comes to what they want vs. what they should want.

You think you are being nice, understanding and patient but the fact is women pretty much know if they are interested in you or not in the beginning.

If she is not available emotionally and physically after a short period of time; run away. If she wants you, she will respect you for being a man and standing up for your self and your feelings.

If doesn’t want you and you are just entertainment or support then she was not worth your time in the first place and you are safer.

As far as keeping her options open and dating others, let them the more you resist the more she will be inclined too.’

I met another girl, who seemed like not interested in looking at me. I told her about theater tickets and as soon as we got there she told me she had a boy friend and just wanted to be friends. After the evening was over I told her that I had no interest what so ever in friendship and to call me if and when she was interested in more.

I ran into her again one at a wedding and we had drinks after and then she took me to her home. We didn’t bring up her boyfriend.

Every so often she calls me for an occasional rendezvous and some love making after. She asked if I minded her seeing two people at the same time. And although I didn’t respect the fact that she is keeping her options open I expressed that I didn’t care.

Recently, I she told me that she left the other guy and wanted more from me.

I am not the type to want to play games or hold back feelings of interest but it seemed like even the late twenty something’s who I date are prone to this kind holding back. Now I thank my advisor and enjoy the new state of mind.

I met her about two years ago, when she joined some of my friends for drinks while I was on vacation. There was some chemistry or so I thought.

I left but couldn’t get her out of my mind, I contacted her from distant land casually and we talked every so often. The subject was generic, as she was very private.

Over the year, we became not friends but acquaintances, someone I knew well. I eventually moved closer and the acquaintance became stronger over half a year and I expressed my interest in dating her both informally and formally.

I was turned down, although the down was not so apparent. She could have been trying to spare my feeling or she was ethiofused as Nolawi as poetically put it a while back. I assumed the former. She was not interested in me, she never was.

This is when I made a choice either stay as friends or isolate myself from her. Again the former, I would stay as friends because I cared about her. She would talk to me about her casual relationships as I would more openly than she ever was. I understood she was private.

Over time I realized my feeling for her is not just a casual interest or lust but rather love.

I am in love with a woman friend of mine who doesn’t feel the same way. I am stuck in the F zone and I don’t know what to do.

Selam Hizboch- I am back, Michael Jordan style to bask in the glory that is Wondinet Haile and the inner workings. It’s been 10 months since my last article, and I am doing better than ever. I am wiser and more handsome.

I was recently in DC; we decided to check out the most popular Ethiopian spots. Hang out with hizboche and check out the chickochune. The boys got together and went to Dukem Restaurant on a Friday night.

Ethiopian Beer, Honey Wine, leb leb Kitfo, and Goden Tibse was served over the Yarada lijoch jokes. Over the night I promoted myself and the boys to something harder, Black label that is.

What a night and the view wasn’t bad either, we were sitting right next to the stage so we could see, as they say in DC the FOB’s shaking their ass Shakira style.

I could see her on the other side of the room, carefully gazing at me when ever it seemed like I wasn’t paying attention. The face looked familiar and thought I should go say hello.

Selam, Do you remember me?
‘Yentina cousin aydelehe endE, we sat together at the so and so wedding.’

The banter continued for a few minutes and then I asked her for her number as she lives in the same city as I do, New York that is. Except she didn’t tell me her name and that too had slipped my mind as she had. I asked her to input her number in my Razor. I was hoping she would fill in the blank, her name that is.

I got her name and number, and went back to my seat, and it was taken by a Chauvinist ass whole wannabe that is.

He moved over and the chewata continued. Later than night he told me he knew the girl, he implied that he had something with her in the past and then he mentioned what it was he had with her that is.

I fingered her in the bathroom of the club!”

I thought what a piece of shit this guy is, he had to brag his conquest that I couldn’t pursue a conquest of mine own. I was disappointed as any guy would have.

Obviously nobody is innocent, as all of us have our own misgivings. She shouldn’t be shunned just because she had a little fun in the bathroom of a club. I decided I would of course pursue her regardless of what the jerk said. And a jerk he is.

But it got me thinking, the guy is obviously very smooth with the ladies, and probably has a dozen or so stories like the encounter in the bathroom. I do blame him for his ungentlemanly ness; what happened in that bathroom should stay in the bathroom between the participants. No need to go splash the content of the encounter in the tabloid pages, especially since Ethiopian communty is so small, and the werEa spreads like awaze on Tire Sigga.

On the other hand, this is not anything new; Ethiopian ladies do not trust Ethiopian males just because of things like this. There are those of us who talk way too much and thus reinforce the lack of trust in the males. I blame that on the ass wholes.

At least, if the Ethio ladies participant in freaky misgivings with non Ethio-males then it will most likely not became gossip. Might I also say a little freakyness is perfectly healthy and we should all have a few of those, as I do!

Yet the fact remains, these behaviors of sharing things is not limited to the Ethiopian comunity but to all community; the problem is that ours is a very small community. So although I do not agree with the guy for sharing this thing, I also blame the girl for doing this with an ass whole like that.

You see, the ladies choose to do these things with the wrong guys. The few alpha males get all the attention from the ladies and then rest are completely ignored. The nice guy, who is not as handsome or as smooth or as funny or as stylish, which is generally 80% of the Ethiopian Males population, is completely ignored while the 20% is hounded by the ladies.

In New York where I live, I have two of my friends are hounded by half a dozen ladies while the rest are completely shunned. And those who get so much attention are most likely not to appreciate it as much. I suggest that the ladies not reinforce such behavior by going after these types of guys. Nice guys although not as attractive, or as smooth or as rich or as funny are more likely to be more considerate that the opposite counterparts.

Selam Hiz’boche –back at you, once more to lecture about an alarming anxiety.

The Ethio-male, too often are being depicted as struggling to express themselves emotionally in appropriate ways, unable to think and feel at a deeper level, and sometimes not even good at ‘traditional male’ pursuits, including that of professionally and socially outside of the Ethiopian community.

You talk and talk and talk and finally we start believing it as true! They say that Ethio-males have hard time accepting change. Ethio-male still believes that he is in Ethiopia. Ethio-males didn’t integrate in the western society or have hard time doing so socially.

The Ethio-males are god enough for their opposite counter-partner. I have even heard that Ethio-ladies start dating out side the Ethiopian community because that they can’t fully understand what it takes to be with an independent woman.

Sometimes the reinforcing of these negative stereotypes in the community, and society as a whole, can leave men feeling inadequate, uncertain, indecisive, and reluctant to explore new ways of making meaning of their lives as expatriates in a western society.

Most of us here are educated in simple 6 grade arithmetics.

If Abebe does you wrong, it doesn’t equate all Ethio-males as having the negative qualities that are shown in Abebe.

Ethio-ladies have taken the male-bashing to a level where the men can’t even begin to defend themselves. If we have to generalize lets not forget the positives; We Ethio-men look at our females as brothers, we protect them, we empower them, we try to understand them, we are willing to work with them.

I was recently in Ethiopia, and I noticed that the females are going into previously uncharted territory in order to survive in a really deprived country. And the Ethiopian males refer to all females as wondemochachine. It amazing how the Ethiopian males, not only in Ethiopia but also elsewhere in the world, are protective of their opposite sex.  

It’s about time the females do their part. We are your wondimochachihu. We are your partners. We are your better half.

It’s about time you empower us, not dispirit us!  It’s about time you encourage us, not belittle us!

Selam Hiz'boche – Reappearing yet again to bask in the grandeur that is Wondinet Haile and my inner workings!

Endete SenebetaceHulegn! I come to the land of Bernosowch out of wholly concerned for the Ethio-Ladies. Tissue paper is used for NefT lemenafeT. If you have sinus, allergies or stuff nose; get some DayQuil, NyQuil, Benadryl, something that ends with 'il!'

I didn't know Ethiopians were apt to be Nasally Congested! Have you ever seen those stuffy nose commercials? There are a millions of over-the-counter nostril-unpluggers. You can take some orally, sniff or for those more used to suppositories, they are available at your neighborhood grocery store.

There is war going on! Its not between two, it’s between four. There is the deodorant, the scented lotion, the hairspray and the perfume!

Drop me off she says with her friendly glow!
Rahel, whose smell I think I know!
Won't let her in my Camry though!
Not interested in filling my nose with vapors so!

On my way into the hotel lobby, I see this shapely mannequin type of Ethio-lady with an extravagant black dress that lay firmly against her tightly shaped ass. She was about 10 yards in front of me, walking really fast with her big black purse. I assumed she was late for the same wedding I was going to. I ran to catch up to her, while contemplating the approach I was going to use, as we were both entering the elevator

Ayeee her scent could drop a buffalo! I know now what the big black purse is for! Excuse me is that purse carry-on or check in?

She gives her big hair a shake!
A noxious cloud pervades my space!
Swift action I must take!
Yiqerta nebse, I think i am getting a headeache!
Can you hit the elevator brake?

Do we need to “send a bill to congress?” Do we need have to make a mandatory label on all perfume bottles?

MORE THAN TWO SPRAY'S MAY CAUSE CANCER!

So in the future, please do think;
when standing at the bathroom sink;
too much perfume jjus… just makes you stink!

Selam Hiz’boche – returned fastly to bask in the glory that is Wondinet Haile and my inner workings.

I took a voyage to the distant land, ye Hiz’boche oasis. There is so many of the gathered around the watering hole, that there isn’t to stretch my arms out. My zemedoch pulled me out and exhibited me the land, the oasis of Abeshoch. They call it DC!

Friday night we went to the injera bet forenamed Dukem, but they should have called it meT’erkosha! We sat at they bar since there was no seats left but the table was filled with ye’Gissela powder that missed the ten ashtrays that was present on the table! I thought the packo came with ashtray targeting instructions, it should. Anyhow I exonerate you; the chis might have mislaid your focus!

Saturday night we went to the club, I decided to jump of my zemed’s camry to check the seen out before we parked the car! Hey Zemed is this really Abeshoch party it looks like smokers convention? I had a breathtaking night; I even met a beautiful chiminey I knew from back home. I was dazed, that couldn’t be her and is that little Mimi, cute little Mimi running around with a lit chibo in her hand.

Sunday morning we went to church, my Zemed is Pente and decided to join him to sing some Mezmur! Perhaps I’ll meet Chewa Pente girls. We took the long route as my Zemed wanted to stop by Abesha sefer to pick up Rothmans in the Arab Souk!

As we were walking in to the church another gathering at the door, ayeee Pente Tembuhamoch!!

Selam Hiz’boche – I am back! Back yet again to bask in the glory that is Wondinet Haile and my inner workings.

Endete SenebetaceHulegn, I come here to the land of Bernoswoch to talk to you about a great concern.

The word update has been forgotten from the Amharic vocabulary. Ethio-ladies have been sporting the same hairstyle since 1996. Why just the other day I was sitting in my new Toyota Camry sipping on Starbucks Latte when I saw two girls walking on the side walk. Even though I didn’t have my contact lenses on and 50 yards away, the two silhouettes screamed Abesha Setoch.

If your hair is brown and curly, it’s time to update; if it takes you more than 20 minutes to dry your hair, it’s time to update. if your hair is wider than your shoulders, it’s about godamn time you update!

If no one wants to sit behind you at the movies, it’s time to update; if your shower drain gets clogged everytime you take a shower, it's time to update; if I can't give you a smooch on the cheek because your hair gets in the way, its about godamn fuken time you update!

Selam Hizb'och Welcome to Wondu's corner. From today on, you will be basking in the glory that is Wondinet Haile and my inner workings. You will read about my highs, my lows, my funnies and my gloomies, my observations of the life that revolves around me. I am in prison ' a minimum security five day a week prison that is . This prison comes with the perks: an eight by eight cubicle, a wanna-be PC, a small desk,  and last but not least a funky new carpet smell. So, for those five days I wallow in disgust, working relentlessly and at the same time looking for escape  the Internet. Back in the non-internet days, workers would get entertained from shooting hoops using crumpled up Post It notes, ( ) But now, I flex my freedom by going from this yonder to that yonder  from Australia to Brazil. But most of the time, I hang out in the horn of Africa. Addis Ababa is my home town so I travel between Piassa and Merkato searching for news and entertainment. Over the years I have figured out all the spots, Cyberethiopia has all the news links that come in on a daily basis. Its a one-stop shop for all the Ethiopia news you want. For entertainment, the forums are full of laughs. Medrek is serious, where the older educated crowd hangs out and ESAi is progressive, where all the young professionals test the waters. Abesha is young and funny, they are Abesha but most of them do not speak Amharic. Seleda is the spot the starbucks of the internet; like all things it came to an end a while back. Currently I'm surfing the many bloggers Yekolo Temari has a Qal Tera, which I checked out to get reacquainted to the new Arada lingo. FTL Ethiopia, short for "for the love of Ethiopia" has a girl writing on virtually every topic Ethiopian. Few Years back I stumble upon a website called 'Ethiopian Brides,' basically a website for a few dollars will give you phone numbers of young Ethiopian girls from mostly Addis Ababa. If you are going to pay for the digits might as well be yeketema lij. Not that a white person would know the difference, NO I want a girl from Gondar as she is likely to be more submissive. Recently a white coworker got a FedEx from Vietnam; Johnny you've won a beautiful Vietnamese Bride!. For months, he was window-shopping for a bride through his monitor; finally, he got one. I wonder how many Ethiopian girls succeed in getting married to a westerner. Recently the number of girls available on this website has quadrupled. Approximately 1,300 girl's pictures are available. Of course the Ethiopian bridal market is not as sophisticated as the Eastern European market which has millions of sites. For that matter, even the Asian market has dozens of sites to start commencing for beautiful brides. Well at least in this matter; I am overjoyed that Ethiopia is in last place.