Selam Hiz’boche, salutations from Wondu and the marvel that is Wondinet Haile.
Two years prior to last I had been in Moscow after years on Wall Street and my only connection to Ethiopia was bernos.
I bought the entire bernos tee collection and connected with Nolawi and his tales, who I admire for his ability to bond with people like me all over the world. I even shared a few accounts, after some encouragement
After moving to DC I asked him for meet up over drinks; he declined by saying that if he was to meet random people that he knew online ‘he wouldn’t have time for his personal life.’ I know blunt, but I respected the honesty!
I offered him his favorite bottle of 18 years aged Chivas and a steak dinner. Over Wednesday evening we exchanged stories of Ethiopian women.
You see, after a major breakup years ago, I hadn’t found someone else. In Moscow, I say was a sugar daddy to 22 year old ‘eastern European model look-alike.’
I didn’t know the inner working of dating Ethiopian ladies outside of my ex-fiancée who I dated for 3 years long ago.
I am not the best looking guy and I am aging fast but I make it up by hitting the gym 3 times a week, making as much money as I can so I can wear my Armani suits and Salvatore Ferragamo shoes and being as funny as an Ethiopian Bernie Mac.
I met a few attractive Ethiopian ladies, and I took them out and entertained them. One seemed like she was interested but hesitated when it came to physical contact. She would call me again and again to hang out and a few months fly but she said she was not ready to take it to the next step.
I didn’t mind having the other, somewhat younger and possibly viewed as a trophy; on my arms even though she was not as cultured as I would have liked. Half a dozen dates later, she started spending the nights.
It seemed like she liked downtown condo more than she liked me. And I asked her what she wanted; she maintained that she is not exclusive with me. She would commit with me only if the other guy doesn’t commit. She insisted sleeping with both of us, but she was keeping her options open then she kept it open and I took back my spare keys.
These were the types of things, I talked to Nolawi about. And I am writing this as a thank you note for the best advice that was given to me in a long time.
I am rephrasing here but something to this extent:
‘Ethiopian women have more options than the male counterpart and thus reinforcing their options by being available how they want it confuses them, because women in general are unsure about what to go for when it comes to what they want vs. what they should want.
You think you are being nice, understanding and patient but the fact is women pretty much know if they are interested in you or not in the beginning.
If she is not available emotionally and physically after a short period of time; run away. If she wants you, she will respect you for being a man and standing up for your self and your feelings.
If doesn’t want you and you are just entertainment or support then she was not worth your time in the first place and you are safer.
As far as keeping her options open and dating others, let them the more you resist the more she will be inclined too.’
I met another girl, who seemed like not interested in looking at me. I told her about theater tickets and as soon as we got there she told me she had a boy friend and just wanted to be friends. After the evening was over I told her that I had no interest what so ever in friendship and to call me if and when she was interested in more.
I ran into her again one at a wedding and we had drinks after and then she took me to her home. We didn’t bring up her boyfriend.
Every so often she calls me for an occasional rendezvous and some love making after. She asked if I minded her seeing two people at the same time. And although I didn’t respect the fact that she is keeping her options open I expressed that I didn’t care.
Recently, I she told me that she left the other guy and wanted more from me.
I am not the type to want to play games or hold back feelings of interest but it seemed like even the late twenty something’s who I date are prone to this kind holding back. Now I thank my advisor and enjoy the new state of mind.
Published by August 6th, 2009 in Bernos, Dating, Personal and Social.Send this post to a friend
WHAT WAS THE ADVICE? Stop acting like a woman?????
well thanks wondata… ? i think i am right.. of course..
How old are you? if you don’t mind talling us. If you are in your forties i think you need to start dating ladies close to your age unless you don’t mind being a sugar daddy. stop trying to find the trophy wife, that’s only works in Ethiopia because most of them are desperate to get out of ethi.
take Nolawi’s advise very seriously and stop dating those gold digger woman!
Why does this piece have a picture? or why does it not have a picture? And my recollection tells me that there was a ‘telltale’ piece here on Bernos by a writer who goes by Wondata, although he was a much better writer then….
—————-
Noun 1. telltale – someone who gossips indiscreetly
blabbermouth, talebearer, taleteller, tattler, tattletale
gossiper, gossipmonger, newsmonger, rumormonger, rumourmonger, gossip – a person given to gossiping and divulging personal information about others
Adj. 1. telltale – disclosing unintentionally; “a telling smile”; “a telltale panel of lights”; “a telltale patch of oil on the water marked where the boat went down”
revealing, telling
informatory, informative – providing or conveying information
Wondata so what is your story are you in a relationship or still looking…….am looking for a man who can make more than i can spend so holla………
yeCHira werewoch
J/k
anonx the picture is not the girl.. I put a random photo stock? and its blurred for effect…
tpeace wrote:
SBS besaq motku!
just went through the archives to catch up. ok. let me guess. back office? middle office? at most credit or commerical banking.
how close am I?
what are u guessing?
The best advise from NOLAWI????
“Ethiopian women have more options than the male counterpart”
There is no truth to that at all.
Wondata
Sorry for being a judgmental and for generalizing. It seem to me that you are betam guregna with your downtown condo, Armani suits and Salvatore Ferragamo shoes comment. You are no different than the girls that are taking advantage of you. You are also keeping your options open by keeping your bed warm by whomever comes around and at the same time looking for a girls of your dreams. You also seem entitled and feel like you deserve the best girl. What make you think that a girl would want you after you have been around. Just because you don’t play games and are materialistic? You need to be more honest with yourself and be a bit more modest.
Just my two cents!
ewnetim mitmita, tell him girl!
toothpick wrote:
dude i disagree.. women in general have more choice… especially if they have a nice butt!
“You are too pretty, don’t speak”
Told to one of my male friends by a 45yrs old Canadian woman in Ottawa
@Nolawi
So, can we say that men also have more choice if they have money
@ Korki:
sure money plays a role in some woman.. but not all woman…
the way i see it money helps out … because woman like financial security and the sensual gifts do not hurt either…
….
in my case though i prefer woman that are independent!
Nolawi is a PIMP! I hope it works out for ya Wondata.
wow, i like…!!! I agree Betam..
mitmita wrote:
Wondata, Can we get a joke and hear your funny side?
@Sosina
I second your guess
@ toothpick:
@ toothpick:
*dead*
I mean no offense but “Wondata” sounds like Nolawi. I apologize if I am wrong.
hmm, it looks like you don’t mind being ‘baTa qoyy’…but no sympathy here for someone who thinks money can buy women.
Qn for you : where on earth do u find women who actually say “I want to keep both of you”? I have heard of women who keep two men….but, who actually say/admit it..? I think u are the first I have heard it being said to.
annonx, i’m looking for a siquar inat/ nay shikor adey…please forward my digits to that sweet ol’ canadian lady ASAP. I’ll let your drive along in the new ferrari that she’ll naturally spoil me with.
bernos ladies: sorry but i’m off the market, lam alegn be canada…
This entry is so wrong at so many levels. But some men like to be bachelor for life,using and being used by much younger women that could careless about their existance except for their money. It shows lack of maturity, integrity and self respect.
But we all have one life to live; live it as you see fit.
Well I believe we attract the type of people that we wanna attract in our life…have u asked urself why u always seem to be surrounded by the same type of females…maybe u believe u have nothing to offer more than money….It looks like it means a whole lot to u …(and I wonder how much of it u have…only the one’s that dont have much seems to flaunt it most times).Too bad that wherever u acquired ur Armani suits, Ferragamo shoes and downtown condo, they did not have a character makeover section, I think u would have benefited a lot …I am not trying to belittle ur achievement in life…It looks like u r doing great in the career side, whatever u r doing…Somehow the way u wrote this entry makes it seem like it is empty
Wondata,
I smell a little insecuirty. I think you feel you are not g.looking and women approch you just for the money. You sound not to even have confidence over your sense of humour.
From my experiance ,women like men who treat them right. If you are honest, caring and decent …you can have any girl you want.
Nols , It seems like you are the new habesha love guru?
. I disagree with the idea that habesha women having more options than the men. That is not true at all !
Following ,totit’s comment , am sharing this Katt vedeo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFCTJXHrbQg&feature=PlayList&p=AE6B180B02FCF63D&index=40&playnext=2&playnext_from=PL
@ Totit:
ditto!! i couldn’t agree more.
dude is just full of it.
Datdude-
Housecleaning: you keep bastardizing my alias, I will revert back to doing the same, intentionally as before
Brotherly advise: at my church now, unlike yours, mine is a coffee shop and Sundays no matter where you are is a day of free advice. ready? Before you make your self available for a couger or shukor ade
, know what most women know: some guys will tell you what they don’t have, and don’t do convincingly to get what they want. This so called eskimo chick tried to reverse that role and more. Three guys and she had a lie for each one of us and she wanted nooky from all three–three black meat she seemed willing to barter for anything–dont imagine now. the monumental lies went like this:
You should go see the musuem of civilization!
What’s there?
For one I have a display there?
What do you do?
I am an authour!
Any books?
Yes! Confession of an igloo dweller…
What about?
Story of my dad!
I find out later, a quentisial canadian book and she is lucky or I am lucky, I didn’t google it then and there.
I should be nice to the lady though, she was nice and she did buy us one round of shots. But still the uneasiness of it all when the table are turned. Keep seeing the ferrari though, they say there is a universe law of attraction, eerily twilight zone
how come the writer is not saying anything???
“Ethiopian women have more options than the male counterpart”
this is only true, if the Ethiopian women would like to date non-Ethiopian male.
Guys,
I was reading an article about Ethiopian Wolf (Key Kebero) this morning and found one thing in common between the female Ethiopian Wolf and “habesha woman”. Here it is…
“Within the pack, the dominant female discourages attempts to mate with her from all but the pack’s dominant male, though she is receptive to any wandering male from a neighboring group. Up to 70% of all matings involve males from outside the pack.”
Ere Wondata,
Thanks for sharing you life with us. You do seem like you are interesting even though you have some mental issues how you view women from your manly egocentric perspective…
At the same time you should be congratulated for sharing this honestly.. I think not many men in our community are capable of that
@ anonx:
my bad man I’ll make sure to get that alias right
seriously though ESKIMO how exotic lol…the only cougar that I know wasn’t even interested in the shukor ade part she got right to the point, told me her hotel and room number lol
leo wrote:
u are sharp leo hehe
@tpeace
You are so funny tpeace ha ha ah
I think men have more options when they have money and women have more options if they are a beauty .afterall yewend lij wubetu walletu works in almost every culture .
Wondu…Egz’eren betam yasazenal…I cosign on
@ toothpick:
who you wanna date and what parameters you set is not society’s choice but yours.
first of all, how could you point blank promote a statement like…
“… how they want it confuses them, because women in general are unsure about what to go for when it comes to what they want vs. what they should want. ”
really? I have met so many confused men, not only habesha men but men in general that were confused about what the hell they want…getting laid is one thing but past that, they didn’t know what they wanted….This is a personality problem of being indecisive, not of an Ethiopian women or men or even men vs women thing…Plus, lots of men have open relationships like that…you don’t see the women writing this on them, if the girl didn’t work out, you move along, not make a general statement about women you clearly don’t seem to know about…Plus I cosign on what mitmita said on how you are gold digger magnet cos you’re also a show off…sorry man!
most bernos’ dating articles are like spinoff’s of ‘how to pick up a girl’ how come that’s it? beqa? thats all there is to it…u pick her up…?
Tpeace–
—
That’s right, Silly rabbit,
tricks are made for kids, don’t you know that.
You without me is like corn flakes without the milk!
This is my world.
You’re just a squirrel trying to get a nut!
Now get on outta here.
Scat! Don’t touch that coat…
–ORAN JUICE JONES The Rain
LMAO nice one anonx
love the poem/lyrics
@ tpeaces:
that is sad how you only say its just picking up… its also about flirting and dressing and blah blah
sigh…….
The ladies out in D.C must like two timing thier man. wow unlucky you ran into a coupla those fast as rabbits..lol. Make sure next time you pick up a habesha girl she is from a good family and was born in addis. that way you’ll more likely have a girl that has a better education background with good morals, values, ethics and blah blah and is not from the country side. not sayin country girls are bad but most tend to want to experiment without good educational background.. and all eventually fall hard in life.. I personally treat habesha women like I am the goddam trophy and they’ll do anything for my time…lol but thats in Cali.
@ Totit:
Totit afe kuret yibelelesh
@ Jez:
I thought there are more values in balager than there are in cities….
@ Jez:
You need to go out more!
Jez wrote:
Jez wrote:
How in hell does better education translate to good morals or values or ethics…there are lots of ppl with great upbringing with those qualities and they were not born or raised in Addis …you need to look out of your tiny box!
@ Jez … seriously that works??!!
Nolawi wrote:
quotable =:)
Thanks for the laugh!
@ SKgirl… I need to go out more… like where…?lol
and you are rite “there are a lot of people with good upbringing and are not born in addis but they lack some education because better education is available in addis than in the country sides..so an example would be: they reply without comprehending the whole msg and only pin point at quotes by taking them out of context … This is the difference and what causes miscomunication between two people.
@ Luli… dif. people have different life styles and yea that works pretty good for mine.
@ Jez
Please stay in your bubble, don’t ever come out and make this kind of ridiculous comment.
Jazz said
“better education…..and they were not born or raised in Addis ”
That tells me there are guys who think Ethiopia is just Addis Ababa.
Amazing!What a joke
@Jez
How about educated jerks?
Anyways the original msg was intended to the guy that kept running into Ethiopian sluts…
Don’t dwell on it.
Jez recommends English 101 and or Communication 101
Much love
@ Jez:
In that case, we recommend you get Exposure 101 cos clearly you’re pitifully sheltered.
Plus do you not know that some of the exceptional Medical doctors and Engineers in Ethiopia are from the Jimma University although born and raised in Addis…the Educated ppl of Addis don’t all get their education, specifically, post-secondary Education only from Addis, Universities all over the country participate in that.
i’m sorry but Addis is all that and a bag of chips, ye geter lijoch moral menkat felige aydelem but lets be real, ain’t nobody like addis peeps, it can even transform the newcomer into addis abeba level arifinet…don’t hate us cos we beautiful.