On Flirting… 25 Comments

anti-flirt

Img Source Anti-Flirt collection is a name of a clothing brand.
But in the 1920, there was a women organization called anti-flirt club that wanted to stop men whistling from their cars.

Women are complicated human beings and I have been getting conflicting signals. Thus I don’t know what is right or wrong?

I have heard female significant others both mine and of friends claim that it’s wrong for a man attached in a relationship to flirt with other women, regardless of the act leading to other acts.

I for one think of the deed to be legal by all measurable standards!

A friend once told me that she disapproves flirting because it can misinterpret her fiancée’s intent of actually not pursuing a relationship or a casual encounter with the person he is flirting with.

Expert flirtologists know that the act is not entertaining if it’s taken too seriously. From what I have seen a girl can grind with the guy till 2 a.m. never to see him or talk to him another day. It’s not necessarily a proposal for sex.

A girl who I been eying at a wedding came up behind pinched me somewhere and whispered “if I wasn’t married…” and left. At the time as a young boy I appreciated it and ‘made my night’ to flirt with a MILF.

Flirting is a fun act that is shouldn’t be off limits to those attached. I know married men & women who flirt openly as well as those that consider it a betrayal of sorts.

I think the best approach is to be honest that it exists and talk about it openly. The fact remains no man or woman can exist without at least looking at surrounding opposite sexes.

Tips for women…

Look approachable, relax your body language and give the man a hint that you are a fun person. You will get asked out more often if you are friendly and not “Kostara.

Quick Eye contact and smile, is all a woman needs to do.

Tips for men…

Have no expectations;’ she is not your woman, at least not yet! I have seen give complete attention to one and later give the same attention to another minutes later. I find it a turnoff & somewhat slutty to see a woman flirt with 4 guys in the same hour but it happens, so lower your expectation. Girls like guys who are not possessive!

Limit your physical contact initially. Make your touch gradual! Look for reciprocal body language. I tend to whisper close to the ear, just a habit of a touchy feely person. And in some cases I seen woman back away; at this point I unconsciously back off to show my intention of not wanting to invade her personal space. She eventually would come closer & whisper right back in my ears.

25 Responses to “On Flirting…”


  1. 1 ep
    Reply  |  Quote

    I hear you buddy..!!

    You forgot to put the tips for married people … including the extent of the flirting .. lol

    BTW, always nice art selection ..

    EP

  2. 2 Nolawi
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    i thought i said married people should flirt… i have flirted with my share of married woman.. endewum they make better flirters..

  3. 3 ep
    Reply  |  Quote

    I know you mentioned about married people as long as it is not off limits but in the “Tips” part the limit goes to asking out. Anyway, this could be another topic for another time
    Nolawi wrote:

    i thought i said married people should flirt… i have flirted with my share of married woman.. endewum they make better flirters..

  4. 4 Flornueva
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    What does MILF stand for ?
    Married….

  5. 5 MoonWalker
    Reply  |  Quote

    Flornueva – Google it man… Don’t show your greenness like this. Just think of kim Basinger, Jennifer Beals, Vanessa Williams, Demi etc…

    Great post anyways…

  6. 6 estifanos
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    besaqFlornueva wrote:

    What does MILF stand for ?
    Married….

    MotKu!

  7. 7 wudnesh
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    This time I didn’t even have to look at who wrote this article, the first line gave it away :P
    indiee, would u not mind ur girl flirting with other guys? yemAymesil neger! Almost everyone flirts but that doesn’t make it right. Haven’t u come across comments like “durye neger neww/nat, the way s/he flirts, doesn’t even look like s/he’s in a relationship” ?

  8. 8 datdude
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    when does being friendly become flirting?

  9. 9 Hidaya
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    datdude wrote:

    when does being friendly become flirting?

    If I could hazard a guess:) When being “friendly” changes to being “attracted to whom you were being friendly with before, and now want to flirt with as well continue being friendly to”

    Hey musketeer datdude greetings from afar:)..I see you’re back from your marco polo adventure days?..how are you mate?…..

  10. 10 jaamkie
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    ridiculous to complain about a woman flirting w/ 4 men in an hour while claiming it is ok to flirt while in a relationship!

    anyway I think it depends on your definition of “flirting”- people in relationships can become too cold/unfriendly to everyone of the opposite sex and miss friendly fleeting exchanges that are perfectly harmless. on the other hand, aggressive/sexual flirting is disrespectful. as a woman in a relationship (and with no intention of cheating), it can be difficult to go to bars/clubs without my guy because men flirt too aggressively and don’t completely back off when I say I have a boyfriend and am just out to enjoy some conversation/dancing. I wish men could appreciate the difference between a friendly non-sexual connection and flirtation that might lead somewhere else.

  11. 11 maebel
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    I almost loved all your articles about gals. The hilight of this article tho is…the character who…”came up behind pinched me somewhere and whispered “if I wasn’t married…” lol

  12. 12 datdude
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    @ Hidaya:
    i’m doing great musketeer ;) btw, unlike marco polo i didn’t make it to china or have a famous last words (thank God) …so what has kept you so busy, surely a little flirting in a london pub is a good way to tear away from the net and all things virtual. Am I right?

  13. 13 Hidaya
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    Hei musketeer datdude, not made it to China yet? me neither…no fretting you will if you really want to one day:) Mr Polo did, he must have wanted it a lot and he did lol, I dont think I do all that much, hat about you?..China is far, 2 hours longer than going to Australia and that is 24 hours already..I havent even made it to Cuba me, I think a lot of making it to Cuba, others treck to Brazil which I only think of making it to at Carnival time lol, the rest of the time it is Cuba…

    “so what has kept you so busy, surely a little flirting in a london pub is a good way to tear away from the net and all things virtual. Am I right?”

    I wish lol…sadly no, real tedious stuff kept me busy and away from all things virtual…flirting in pubs with alkies strangers? my dear datdude that can lead to one’s head and limbs in a bin bag months later as a news item on tv…brrr the thought of it, can you imagine head and limbs in bin bag tossed to the roadside and in the news??…brrr “shudder”…

    Flirting though is a generic word for an activity that has many functions isnt it? flirting isnt always romantic or sexual in nature, there is social flirting which is about charm and charisma..sexual and romantic flirting requires chemistry and attraction..the rest to me just requires charm, sense of humour, intelligence and how you communicate it to others…

  14. 14 estifanos
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    ungrateful

  15. 15 Anonymouse
    Reply  |  Quote

    *changed nick… * nolawi: use real nicks… “not ayee nolawi “
    Tips for women…

    Quick Eye contact and smile, is all a woman needs to do.

    Tips for men…

    I find it a turnoff & somewhat slutty to see a woman flirt with guys in the same hour but it happens …

    So the men can ogle as many women as they want per hour, but god forbid if a woman makes the mistake of smiling at more than a guy upon eye contact. Slutty!

    In fact I’ve always thought women should avoid telling each other jokes until all females in the group have made sure that they’ve picked the one guy they’re interested for the night/day, and executed their flirt. Otherwise, you know … the moments they laugh and glance up to make eye contact with a random dude may coincide…and as we all know, that’s so bilgina.

  16. 16 Nolawi
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    dude… relax honey I am not trying to say woman should avoid eye contact… minamin… this is not Kuwait… I am just saying that you shouldn’t be grinding with six different guys…

    just have some self respect… flirt as much as you want..

    that is all i am saying…

  17. 17 Nolawi
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    jaamkie wrote:

    ridiculous to complain about a woman flirting w/ 4 men in an hour while claiming it is ok to flirt while in a relationship!

    dude… what I am saying is not dependent on eachother.. two different things.. eko.. read the article..

  18. 18 tsedey
    Reply  |  Quote

    Flirting though is a generic word for an activity that has many functions isnt it? flirting isnt always romantic or sexual in nature, there is social flirting which is about charm and charisma..sexual and romantic flirting requires chemistry and attraction..the rest to me just requires charm, sense of humour, intelligence and how you communicate it to others…!

    Hidaya, i couldn’t have said it any better! Thank you!!

    Nolawi, u know i love you

  19. 19 hewe
    Reply  |  Quote

    @ ep:

    what do you think of this ep…for people in relationship, it will be someting you will not do in front of your significant other….if you have to ask yourself twice, maybe that’s something you shouldn’t do. That’s my standard at least.

  20. 20 Nolawi
    Reply  |  Quote

    @ tsedey:
    you are my inspiration…

    speaking of .. ten minutes
    the most shapely indian at the coffee shop…

    she was looking for the decaf.. i pointed to it.. she smiled and thanked me..

    then we ran into eachother… at the creamer stand… she passed me a stir and said “here you go” .. the lame me.. said thanks..

    she said ” you pointed me to the coffee.. now we are even” and ran off with a smile.. the view of her running off was very nice too

    :)

  21. 21 SelamT
    Reply  |  Quote

    One can flirt in different ways, the way you dress etc.

    Check this on a debate by high school students on seductive clothing in Addis.
    I find it interesting how kids in high school can express themselves without insulting each other.
    The all make a valid point. The introduction to the debate is funny I did not get what the guy was saying.
    I just like the debate. Smart students. I think about my high school years in Addis and how things have changed now…The girls make me proud.

    Enjoy.

    http://www.ethiotube.net/video/3549/Debate–Cathedral-Catholic-Students-Debate-Girls-and-Seductive-Clothing

  22. 22 ep
    Reply  |  Quote

    hewe wrote:

    @ ep:

    what do you think of this ep…for people in relationship, it will be someting you will not do in front of your significant other….if you have to ask yourself twice, maybe that’s something you shouldn’t do. That’s my standard at least.

    I agree … i was just trying to understand the level based on this blog context..

    According to wiki ..

    wiki:

    People flirt for a number of reasons. It is often used as a means of indicating interest and gauging the other person’s interest in a relationship. Alternatively, it may simply be a prelude to casual sex.

    In other situations, it may be done simply for amusement, with no intention of developing any further relationship. This type of flirting sometimes faces disapproval from others, either because it can be misinterpreted as more serious, or it may be viewed as “cheating” if the person is already in a romantic relationship with someone else.

  23. 23 Sam
    Reply  |  Quote

    LOL @ estifanos:

  24. 24 hilarious
    Reply  |  Quote

    I don’t think its a good idea for married or engaged people to be flirting with others. Specially for married for they are under a covenant and vows. If you poke a hole on vacuum sealed perishable item it will eventually rot or if you ignore preventative maintenance on your car it will eventually come to a halt. why risk a lot for something you can’t have?

  25. 25 Bez
    Reply  |  Quote

    LMAO @ the “what does MILF STAND FOR? Married..” comment

    haha, if you google it I am sure you will get the idea pretty quick lol

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