Comments on: fetish effect

By: Sara

Sara — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 09:17:23 +0000

Hi God is Love! We Have To Love Each Other!

By: Sara

Sara — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 05:08:43 +0000

HI Good Is Love!We Have To Love all Nation!

By: keniye

keniye — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 04:34:22 +0000

Fannoye, I really appritiate that. This is what I want people to realize. Not all Ethiopian guys are nice or have an excellent character. From all I experianced, I can say that maybe 20% are nice not all of them. I dated a guy who seemed so sweet but cheated on me…and the other one never told me that he has a girlfriend but dated two of us at the same time. What do you Ethiopian guys expect from us? why is it so hard for our guys to accept when Ethiopian girls date Black men. I live in East cost and,,,,if they find out that you date an American, they will talk about you everywhere as if you killed someone ….as if you are so sexual and couldn’t get it from an Ethiopian Guy. It is not all about sex that we date Americans, it is because we are sick and tyred of your unfaithfullness. Just because you are Ethiopian, it doesn’t mean you donot cheat..hell naaaa..you guys cheat….
The guy that I am with is such a great guy. He is open to talk to me about everything …he knows about my mom but he doesn’t judge her..if you see him, you wont even know that he is not Ethiopian unless you start talking to him. He looks so much like us and so shay unlike those “Ayin Awtta” habesha guys out there…he loves Ethiopian people and respects….please let us not judge..who are we to judge anway?

By: Fanno

Fanno — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 04:13:37 +0000

Keniye…Nolwai is like your mother..he is probably her age too…with all due respect to your mom and to an extent to Nolwai (’cause it’s none of your business), they are wrong and backward thinking. Nolwai and probably your mom too might say the same thing — “leave him; he is this or that; not your type; blah blah” —if you were from the northern ethiopian region (say amahara or Tigre) and you fell in love with a Wolayata Ethopian…It’s racist; let us call it what it is…your mother and Nolwai’s view might be different if your guy was a white american though…I say to you; don’t let your mother’s reaction determine what you decide. Look into heart and decide what you want t odo…marraying outside of your culture isn’t easy especially when families oppose…but as I’ve seen it in my own personal experience; it’s possible that people will eventually come around. You know your family; and can tell whether they will eventually embrace him or not. Beyond his cuteness and ‘all that’ criteria….think whether he would fit within your family and you in his…It will take substantial adjustment from both of you..don’t get into it as if your affection is goign t obe enough to sustain your relation in the long haul of ups and downs…..To be sure, I’m totally for intra-Ethiopian marriages…but as much as I’d like to see ethiopians with other ethiopians…this is ultimately an individual decision. Don’t let others decide for you..decide for yourself.

By: keniye

keniye — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 03:25:33 +0000

Nolawi, donot you think that is a mean thing to say. Let me ask you a question, Have you ever been in love?

By: Nolawi

Nolawi — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 18:30:50 +0000

Ya leave him - so that you can make your mom happy

By: keniye

keniye — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 17:00:55 +0000

I date an African American guy.It has been almost a year since we started to go out. He is cute, sexy..and all that. I have dated Ethiopians before but I never felt so connected like this guy.
My Mom doesn’t know that I date an American eventhough she knows that I am seeing some guy. Sometimes I ask her what if I date an American and she would say harsh things. I really donot know what to do. We are so in love and we want to get married. What do I do if my Mom says no? shall I stop seeing the guy just to make my mom happy?

By: Fanno

Fanno — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 16:06:36 +0000

There is no one specific reason why African american men have a ‘fetish’ …. for the most part, i think Georgia Library Man (GLM) got it right as to why the ‘fetish’ is there … but let us not forget this: African americans are also imagining to see in ethpn women a nurturing, subservient woman with much more feminity than what they see in african american women … At the risk of generlazing too much, let us face it…compared to african american women, ethpn women tend to be much less aggressive, less confrontational, more feminine and more comfortable in an patriarchal order of family. These are hard-to-find attributes within the african american women population for many reasons that may have much to do with what happened since slavery … Anyhow speaking from my own experience, limited as it it is but also from friends and relatives, I can tell you i really did not see much of it….and yes I’ve dated african american women … To understand this better, consider the reverse situation. I would venture to say there are not as many ethpn men seeking african american women as there are african americans seeking ethpn women. And it’s not because there are not many beautiful african american women out there. There are many especially if you are in places like New York, Detroit, Atlanta and New Orleans. African american men are excited and sometimes too eager about ethpn women not just for soft curvy body and nice face but more importantly as refuge from dominant and overly agressive women…it’s largely based on this mythical image of an original african woman…the real woman! and as an ethpn who dated more than my share outside of my nationality .. I could not agree more …but for reasons different than mythical.

By: sarah

sarah — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 20:33:10 +0000

oh, i’d like to add. i was at the shop the other day and i saw a fiiiiine brother. i had the prettiest, deepest, most soulful eyes. smooth chocolate skin, and a cute and warm accent. for a second i thought i was in love. after a brief conversation (and without my asking…he asked me where i am from then told me his nationality), i found out he is ethiopian. now, are you going to say that aa women have a fetish for ethiopian men too? now “we” are after “your” men, right? uh, huh.

By: sarah

sarah — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 20:30:19 +0000

this is stupid. what makes us so different? language? tell me, if you were (or are) born in america, would you not also be called African-American? We cannot help where we are born, but we are all the same people, so why try to divide us even further? if a brother wants to know if you are ethiopian, why should he sit there and wonder when he can just ask. i mean a man is going to be interested in a pretty woman no matter where she is from. if he decides to pursue her, then why should he not start by asking questions to call for direct and obvious (read “easy”) answers? you are blowing this out of porportion, i think, in order to feel like you are gods gift to men simply because you are ethiopian. get over yourself. oh, i like you feleqleq

By: United Ethiopian

United Ethiopian — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 03:24:09 +0000

Well this is going to be my 1st comment on this!! I would like to say: Whe are all the same, no matter where we come from. As far as dating out side ur race, I dont see what the big deal is. And if u think about it, is’nt that the whole point?? To see what u like/not want to deal with in the future? I am Ethiopian and I was not born in Ethiopia (Sudan) I came to the states at the tender age of 9. Now on my 16th years in the US, I cant seem to comprehend (Blacks, Hispanic, White, etc). I don’t care where they where from. All I ever looked for in a Man is …how he treated his mother, and what his parents/parent thought him as a child/ & if shit went wrong with the childhood, how the individual viewed-valued life/or for another human. When it all comes down to it all that matters to me is RESPECT AND LOVE!!!!!!! May you all be blessed.

By: des

des — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 01:56:28 +0000

I have always been attracted to darker skinned Ethio ladies. All my friends preferred Te’yim Ethio ladies. When was it decided Ethio guys prefer light skinned women? That is news to me.

By: winta

winta — Sat, 29 Sep 2007 02:45:30 +0000

Okey I tried to look in to the book. Its a good read .I will definitly try to get a copy .Some of the pages you recommended are not included .But based on wht I read there are some points I agree with and some not .

Like for instance ,Humanity started in Eastern Africa not in Southern Africa ,Based on my facts anyways .Another point I want to mention is blacks in central America do not identify themselves with the latin orgin population .They also live in a relatively imporverished environment and relate much more to the carribean .

Most importantly ,Ethiopians do not at all feel inferior because of their skin colour. Ethiopia being uncolonized the first racial instance an Ethiopian would come across is when he/she travels to the west .Feeling of inferiority is nto sth that developes at any time in life ,you have to grow up with it to internalize it .That would exclude Ethiopians the way I see it .Let me just say wht one of my professors told me when I told her that I have never came across any racial discrimination in my life and I look at people beyound colurs .She said Wht matters in this things is not how you see yourself but how others look at you .

There is a good read on racism if you are intersted i.e Previledge ,Power and Diffrence by Allan Johnson .

By: Georgia Library Man

Georgia Library Man — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 22:29:29 +0000

I would like opinions on the content contained in Asia Color Quest pages 46 through 49 of the link above, please.

Georgia Library Man

By: winta

winta — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 18:58:21 +0000

Okey I am confused ,I thought we were supposed to say that (Besmeab minamin ) about any uneducated person ?

By: shentam

shentam — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 18:38:37 +0000

betam contraversial…if this was me 5 years ago I would have defended African Americans but I’ve grown, matured and experienced living with them, and as sad as it is over 70% of them are the same as they are portrayed by habeshas, ferenjoch, and everyone else in the world. when they are educated ayechalum sayemaruma sekeru besmeAb weWolde WE menfes kedus…awetane amelak..whay whay!

By: Mamitu

Mamitu — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 19:18:23 +0000

I too can say that there is a definite preference of Chocolate/darker skinned women in .Ethiopia there are lots of songs and poems (Kinie) talking about and praising dark skinned (Tseim) women.

“Tseim Assa Messay” being one of the praises, which can kind of loosely be translated to “Dark skinned, like a fish”

By: Senaserate

Senaserate — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 17:09:50 +0000

Library man, I cant give you any evidence because I don’t know of any poll that was conducted in regards to this issue, hence I will have to go with what I have known people to prefer and for this issue really you don’t necessarily need statistics to tell you what people prefer because you can base it on at least the people you grew around, your friends, girl friend etc. but I appreciate you taking your time to find these sources. I will have to conclude by saying if in fact these issues exist in our community it should not be a problem people have the right to choose dark over light and light over dark its not a big issue after all Ethiopia has many ethnic groups but we are all one Race.

By: winta

winta — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 05:22:50 +0000

Okey ,I am telling you this as honest as I can be .In Ethiopia as far as I know wht matters is features not colours .If it comes to colours people go to the darker skins .like If you have to give them a choice between Alicia Keys colour and brandy colour (note that I am talkign about here colours ,not features )They woudl defintly go for the Brandy one .

BTW,you can press this as you want .

By: Georgia Library Man

Georgia Library Man — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 03:42:02 +0000

[quote comment="75798"]I have to go with the other guy again of light skin Vs Dark skin does’s represent Ethiopia .That is not beacause I have this obession of saying ‘we are the perfect cuture ‘.
But I can tell you in Ethiopia women of lighter skinner are not prefreed that much .We even have this expression called ‘Yetikur Konjo ‘which means literlay means ‘Black beauty ‘.We also have this negative expression ‘Nehchachuba ‘ which can be translated as ‘whitee’.
I think people give more emphasis to features than light skins .features like big eyes or certain body shapes for instance.[/quote]

I find THAT ETHIOPIANS are less willing to discuss their personal affairs amongst strangers(more so then other GROUPS). I see many of the same issues within the Ethiopian community as I see amongst the greater society at large especially among those who are more westernized.

There are definitely certain facial features and body types THAT are associated more with femininity and masculinity then others. However, factoring IN these things, a light-skinned preference STILL occurs FOR people/cultures around the world regardless of colonization and westernization.

My question IS, IN YOUR opinion WINTA are Light-skinned Ethiopian women preferred over dark-skinned Ethiopian women?

I will let YOUR opinion stand and want press the issue any further.

Georgia Library Man

By: winta

winta — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 02:58:24 +0000

I have to go with the other guy again of light skin Vs Dark skin does’s represent Ethiopia .That is not beacause I have this obession of saying ‘we are the perfect cuture ‘.
But I can tell you in Ethiopia women of lighter skinner are not prefreed that much .We even have this expression called ‘Yetikur Konjo ‘which means literlay means ‘Black beauty ‘.We also have this negative expression ‘Nehchachuba ‘ which can be translated as ‘whitee’.
I think people give more emphasis to features than light skins .features like big eyes or certain body shapes for instance.

By: Georgia Library Man

Georgia Library Man — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 23:17:01 +0000

I think this is not true at all in the Ethiopian community, don’t Introduce negative aspects of other cultures. Rather promote the positive!

Sooner or later, in just ABOUT every message board THAT involves the ETHIOPIAN community, a discussion involving a light-skin color preference of Ethiopians arises. Unless, you have a whole bunch of people masquerading on the web as Ethiopians, typing Amaharic, and possessing significant knowledge of the culture; Ethiopians are discussing an issue THAT does indeed exist in YOUR community.

Antecedotal evidence ALONE proves that this issue does EXIST in YOUR community.

Georgia Library Man

By: Georgia Library Man

Georgia Library Man — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 23:00:39 +0000

[quote comment="75718"]Again, you have not provided any evidence. The book does not focus on the Ethiopian community; these are your words and your own thinking.[/quote]

The book includes the discussion of the ETHIOPIAN community as WELL as OTHERS. One does NOT have TO focus entirely ON one entity FOR IT to be part of the problem.

IF you had ATLEAST found the book and done a cursory browse you would have FOUND this out.

I did NOT write the book.

First of all where did you get this ? who did a research on Ethiopians Preferring light over dark ? I think this is not true at all in the Ethiopian community, don’t Introduce negative aspects of other cultures. Rather promote the positive! We were not ruled by whites and most people who are light skinned are not mixed so the African American terms and ideologies do not apply to us.

I provided more THAN my words I gave YOU a source to REFERENCE; IT’S entirely up to YOU whether TO reject IT or NOT.

Now, AFTER, having said THAT, can YOU provide proof other THAN YOUR words THAT the ETHIOPIAN community DOES not prefer light-skin OVER dark-skin ? Source? Scientific Journal, Article, or Books, something other THAN opinions TO support YOUR contention?

Georgia Library Man

By: Sensrate

Sensrate — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 18:33:24 +0000

Again, you have not provided any evidence. The book does not focus on the Ethiopian community; these are your words and your own thinking.

By: Georgia Library Man

Georgia Library Man — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 15:21:47 +0000

all Africans including Africans Americans and Ethiopians have shown to like lighter skinned people.

First of all where did you get this ? who did a research on Ethiopians Preferring light over dark ? I think this is not true at all in the Ethiopian community, don’t Introduce negative aspects of other cultures. Rather promote the positive! We were not ruled by whites and most people who are light skinned are not mixed so the African American terms and ideologies do not apply to us.

The African-American cultural experience IS NOT the sole CAUSE FOR A preference OF light-skin IN OUR community. Studies have shown THAT there IS an overall preference FOR lighter-skinned people regardless of colonization OR European influence. In other words, a color preference FOR lighter-skinned women has EMERGED in THE vast majority of cultures, races, and ethnicities whether the populace IS heterogeneous or homogeneous.

A good book to read on this subject IS: Fair Women, Dark Men: The Forgotten Roots of Racial Prejudice.

Again, This IS NOT just an African-American ISSUE this PREFERENCE has been FOUND worldwide regardless of colonization and European influence.

Georgia Library Man