I appreciate the Honesty ,Nol.

And will try to share sth good for ur ego next time .

Don’t be so judgmental ,Eshi?

[quote comment="86231"]Nice Piece Meron ! I have had a similar encounter like two or three years back.I met an Ethiopian guy in this strange town .It turend out that he was the only Ethiopian in town.I was traveling with a non-ethiopian crew.he insisted on taking eveyone out to dinner and spent half the night telling us his stories .

After we took of to another town ,he used to send me telephone air times .He called and checked how I was doing every other week.Shame on me ,I Didn’t even say goodbye when I left .
I like it when I meet such ppl .It keeps hope alive on the nation and humanity .

”If you would lift me up you must be on higher ground ”[/quote]
He he he he

mts, i sense a little hypocrisy!

Nice Piece Meron ! I have had a similar encounter like two or three years back.I met an Ethiopian guy in this strange town .It turend out that he was the only Ethiopian in town.I was traveling with a non-ethiopian crew.he insisted on taking eveyone out to dinner and spent half the night telling us his stories .

After we took of to another town ,he used to send me telephone air times .He called and checked how I was doing every other week.Shame on me ,I Didn’t even say goodbye when I left .
I like it when I meet such ppl .It keeps hope alive on the nation and humanity .

”If you would lift me up you must be on higher ground ”

the first thing we women need to throw is, that if some guy be nice to us. it doesn’t necessarily mean he want something out of us. there’re a lot of guys who just like treat ladies because they are women and need more treatment, with out any need. so, girls don’t push a man when he offer a help.

well written Meron,i know biratu very well.he is a nice person.this story reminds me that 6 years ago biratu gave his jaket as a gift to one of ethiopian famous singer during a concert here in swiss .after the singer went back home it was reported on ethiopian amharic megazine as the singer best memories.this is the sprit of good ethiopianism we should have to proud of it.

i hope all Men out there (Those who can adapt & change that yaGerbet mind-set are paying attention and get the drift. I know I am and have been for years.

The mind-set, the mind-set is the killer. all sedetegoch came from various background. That is what people are missing here. just because s/he is H/Abesha, people assume there is an equivalent level of understanding the mutual camaradrie, homeyness.

Unconsciously, we keep falling into this web of zone and then the misunderstanding along with the cultural norms complicate matters, where matters leave you with no substance of mutuality.

Should we, men, stop, are we going to stop givign a hand for fear of some imaginative mind? whose imaginative mind? who values it? is it an inflated value?. I know I won’t value a Lady that I sincerely approach to help coming around and anaylzing “dabo Felega”. I know I won’t appreciate it, but, it ain’t make a dent in my life. I care less.

However, I DEFINITELY Stand Firm for what my nature is if my intention is to help, extend a hand or even chat with anyone H/Abesha if I see decency & grace, personableness regardless of gender, age, and staus, if the other party is up to that as well!

If we, men, have it deep-in-our nature to give a hand, no hesitation, regardless of how it is perceived. After all, how can we let others to dictate & define how our natural gift be executed? If we do, then we give away the key of our human dignity to another human fella ! what would the creator say then? I ain’t give you this to cowardly hand over to another coward like you! wouldn’t he?

I ain’t even think about supressing let alone change my nature because someone, whose breathe even couldn’t huff a dust out of my face let alone my conscious, would think of it somethingelse. I care less.

Men, with sincerity & dignity, don’t lose hope. Give a Hand, still !!! As long as there are breeds like Meron whose Abesha guardian gene that was not displayed (on this topic) as conditioned or bitten by the cynic venom during the encounter is a bliss…at least ….if the kind of Kindness was sincerely extended & then obeyed due to decency (which is being seen as weakness by those who claim street smarty-panty, then be it! )

If you smell smoke then there is fire. if not, then there is not.

i admire those Abesha Ladies who still reflect & pick the good-side of that culture of ours without compromising with this newly found wonderful individuality and empowerment that the West has nurtured them.

Really: ..Ok, … i love what you said. it happens to me all the time due to the thickness of my lips. I am mistaken for a Cameronian which is cool my favorte African soccer team… so beware next time… you might sit next to me…. Kenferu ende’emahoye Dabo yetetabeQe Bicha new Abesha yale manew eski… Gudo eko.. Jal.

~till next time~

…is a guy really nice for no d*mn reason…? the quick answer would be, HELL NO!. but then again we all get a little too paranoid at times. if a you run into a guy at the Airport and he offers to feed you and buy you chocolate? is he being nice or is he being creepy? i say its a little bit of both…but i also say Santa is a pervert and loves to touch kids, so hey what do i know right?

Ps. if your gonna give the guy your number at least take the d*mn chocolate…

[quote comment="60056"]

MWC I think this is the most unfair statement I’ve heard/read in a long time. Just because someone flew out of Bole and landed in JFK you assume they didn’t have any struggles or trying times. ….
.[/quote] ”

Celebratuwa ..sorry to disappoint you with my “unfair” statement…but hear me out well homey! Onething is for sure. We can never mix apple with orange and claim that…we own apple. . can we? we can, but it depends on who that claim serves well. Let me go on and add this Dunbulo.

Does this, sometimes, happen to you as it does to me?…. I hear a song, would enjoy it and sticks to my head and being familiar with it for so long yet fail to have an intimate knowledge of who the source of that song is from(the writers, the singers .. etc ..wezeterefe…)

How can that be? Being so familiar with it but not knowing who sings it!? hmm..! Yet, there are other songs that you can so tell in-a-flash of a second as where the sources are from, and etc…. My point?

well, In the same token, a very good portion (perhaps 2/3 ?) of this world’s populace has unfortunately been subjected to humiliation, subjugation, execution, what not. Yet while many of us are familiar and can relate our individual ups-and-downs, we can NEVER have a scale to gauge it to those fellow humans’ life whose was totally gushed & demolished into ashes and left them traumatized & crippled with no chance of revival when tomorrow shows up as it surely will. And the meaning of -A being- itself becomes meaningless at that point. Those were the ones i was talking about.

As you know all of us took various routes. but, believe me, for me, there is no comparison USA vs. other countries on earth. with the unbreakable spirit that we Africans possess what we face in America compares to nothing what we face in Africa or anywhereelse. GOD in deed Bless America, as for me.

I rather have my childhood as a child than anythingelse. as an adult, at least i expect the unexpected. But, a child, there is nothing painful than being stripped off your childhood. as you know, millions children are (sex slaves, laboreres, etc….) around the world including in our countries. Just imagine, mamush or mamitu being exploited by local or foreinger devils even worse when parents, your ultimate guardian, sell you so they eat. just imagine… just ..just…

Meron.

Let me share my personal experience with you. I know you are smart girl. I think u need to also be street smart. You see meron No matter how many years we spent in school, it will never teach us about life. A balance of street and book smarts is needed for survival.
I learned it the hard way. Let me briefly tell you my story of being with married men. It often starts the way you describe. Thinking oh he is just yehager lij. and besides he is married man. Devolted coz he says so so much. That’s what i told myself. Oh boy was i being talking on a ride.
I met him through his sister who became my friend here.
She became close to me like i was her sister. She took me to her home she and we spent time together. Well in her home party for kidane Mehret one day she had many guests. I met her brother who was married there. Well well long story short I went to Aster concert one day and i saw her brother was with a woman who was not his wife. Dancing and flirting with her. I started to hide coz i though if he saw me he would be embarrassed. Then I left to go get taxi when the concert was over. I was waiting long time for a taxi. Then all of a sudden here comes Mr. married brother of my friend. He insists to take give me ride. I said don’t worry but he insists.
So i got in. That’s when things got ugly. Instead of taking me home he kept talking about how it is not too late we can still drive around and get some dinner. I said i am tired take me home. He never listened. THen all of a sudden i start to panic coz he was driving to a different area. I was like where are we going. He said i need to pick give my sister something she is in my house. I believed him. So got inside his home thinking his sister was there. But no there was nobody. I was angry. I tried to leave. He blocked the door and kept blaming me saying ” mindinew tinish aref bilesh beticawechi.” He even said I love you. That was so strange. He kept talking lots of trash saying the two of us need to be together without anyone knowing. I was like what about your wife. All he said was she is on vacation in Ethiopia. He didn’t give a demn.
Then he starts drinking lots of beer and got drunk. The area was a suburb where taxi’s are rare. So I was happy when he finally slept. I went to the phone book and take the cab #. Then while he slept i searched the house for the mails so i know where i was. Then i used that address to get the hell out of there while he slept.

lmao helina..too funny. entertaining, but i think the man was just hmmmm whats the word ‘nice’. but most view niceness as a weakness. maybe its our american conditioning. yup thats it.

mae…i laughed histerically as i read this piece (in all the while my co-workers prolly thinkin i was nuts), i was kinda reminded of the ever-persistant approach that our people have; which sometimes can be and is irritating.
grant it, i don’t doubt that the man may have been kind-hearted,and yes, very happy to see “ye hageru lij” but could you blame him if he persisted?… to quote Nolawit, your “sexy jawline and your infectious smile” could be a ‘weapon’that pierced his lil heart hahaha…
ok ok ok, and i also thought it was kinda ironic in how he “matter of factly” mentioned his wife and kids so as not to “seemingly” be a threat…and not to mention his thinkin that it would be a leverage in pleadin his case to offer you some buna/shay/mesa…which make me even think…what would he have offered if you had a evening, or late night layover?…would he have offered to get you a room too?
needless to say that in all counts that in my humble opinion the man was and is guilty of “crimes of the mind”

Yekey Dama, you can just email me at nolawi.petros @gmail.com

Zelabaju, I pass by Frankfurt several time a year and I always enjoy the two Ethiopian(Eries ?)smile, but I never got the free coffee. They are always friendly and we exchange greeting all the time.

Merone, Thank u for sharing ..I know one person like that ..He always goes out of his way even if he is pushing his family priority to a second.Since I am close to him (He is married with kids).I always tell him “Ante eko betesetehe atelekatem”…he always says Of course. I never trust him….Call me whatever , but that is exactly how I feel.

Meron,

Nice story.It is true that ethiopian like to interact with other ethiopians , be it with a hidden agenda or just for sharing.In fact, i know may of them who relate only with other ethios.Some days, i wish i could see one for only 15 minutes just to trade some words in amharic,in this strange land i am leaving on.

I remember once at the frunkfurt airport, i asked for a coffe to the barman directly in amharic :ebakeh and makiato..
He offered it to me by saying “satasfogere yezeh hid”.It was enough to make my day.

YekeyDama–thank you…

i agree we dont hear of stories such as this one because we are suspicious of kind acts. its also because we dont always highlight the positive. it is much easier to remember and dwell on the negative rather than the positive…

MWC–very very interesting…betam!

I really like ur experience Meron and habeshas are indeed kind. But I was wondering about some of the comments…… how we are so suspicious of kind deeds of fellow habeshas

[quote comment="59994"]respectfully atchemaleqi…[/quote]
LOL Noli, cute If you can “respectfully” insult someone
woo on to you yene konjo BTW how can I reach you privately? Don’t worry I won’t bite I just need to whishper something in your ears.

It is no wonder we are among the ‘developing countries’…
Besides the many factors, we can’t even see good in good. Mts.

Nolawit, I will give you ‘E’ for effort because even as you try to be ‘funny’ there is still hostility in you. Very touché, very… girl, hear me when I advice you to shrug that chips off your shoulder, ya like that…let it roll off. Life is too damn short to be so uptight about and angry all the time. On that note I have to call your story as I see it… bull’s dung I think you are cleverer than that so sharpen your pencil better for your next entry.

Meron, I sense your disappointment because obviously the direction of the dialog was not what you had hoped your article would inspire. So I took it upon me to throw one positive aspect of our culture to hopefully shift the balance, or in the least regain momentum. I think our family structure and values are one to be commended for. Love it or hate it, we Ethiopians run a tight ship when it comes to family. I think the saying “sigah bigema enkua korteh atetelewim” speaks volumes to that aspect of our culture. We metor our elderly no matter how it complicates or inconveniences our lives. We try to give back for what we’ve received. Of course there are exceptions to the rules and argument from either end can be made but the majority of us do take care of our family. So there I was able to think of one amidst the many negative that kept swearming in my head

The reason we don’t hear stories like this more often is because many people are paranoid and think whoever showed them kindness must have ulterior motives. Yasaznal!

I know a lot of abesha people who are nice to other abeshas without any hidden agendas. And it wasn’t always men for women. Some of the stories i know….an abesha guy who works at LA airport paid for a hotel room for an elderly abesha lady who came from Addis and was on transit to Seattle but missed her flight,…….. my brothers were the only visitors to this abesha guy who was at an immigration detention center for a year (they didn’t even know him,…they met him when they went to visit another person who was there for a few weeks), but now he’s free, we are like family with him and his family….and when my best friend went to Venice with her sis, they met this girl who insisted they stay with her. She wouldn’t even let them stay at the hotel which they already paid for, and they ended up staying with her and her family for the entire vacation……ere I could go on and on with so many nice stories.
And for those of you who think this guy has some other interests, ayiiiii…that’s for God to judge. He was indeed a kind person. Degmo, since when do married men who want to cheat on their wives speak about wife and kids?
Nolawit degmo kewashesh at least make it believable to entertain us

—-

Africans (especially those fortunate who directly came to this blessed USA will never understand the intrication of a refugee in the other parts of this world).

how is it that i never meet these nice ethiopian folks at the airport?

MWC I think this is the most unfair statement I’ve heard/read in a long time. Just because someone flew out of Bole and landed in JFK you assume they didn’t have any struggles or trying times. You assume anyone who was fortunate enough to be “in the land of the free” was really free and lived in la, la land with Disney in their back yard. You assume everyone got their ‘menorya fikad’ as they exited the airport. Well I have news for you there are some who wish to trade places with you and will do it without a blink of an eye.

I think it’s unfair to compare one struggle with another and to say I know because I’ve been thru it all. You’ve only been thru the hand you’ve been dealt.

I can share some of the stories of others who have struggled beyond any person’s nightmare while living in the US since they left Addis so please don’t undermine anyone else’s struggle. It is truly not fair. I have always admired people who have overcome life’s challenges and survived to tell the story but no one struggle is greater then the other.

We’ve all had our share of “a kick in the ass” trying to survive this thing called life outside of Ethiopia.

Emebet, Our experience in the past does not take away our kindness as a people. Most of the Ethiopian’s I’ve met want to proactively lend a helping hand. I don’t always accept but this is a fact. Whether they complain about life or their struggle is beside the point they still wanna help. Whether they want a favor in return is still beside the point they still wanna help.

I ain’t seen no American white or black offering 1/8 of what a strange Ethiopian would and this is a fact. Regardless of what lies behind the kindness we are givers and no one on this earth can deny that as a fact.

Nolawi, what is this about mechemalking? [quote comment="59994"]it is our story.. and the fact a person shares that with you is a priviledge….

respectfully atchemaleqi…[/quote]
my friend, i have been a ’sidentenga’ for 24 years. so i do sympathize, in case i didn’t sound it.
respectfully yaltechemaleke
emebet

story–come on…are you serious?? youre being a little extreme no? you dont even know this guy and youre passing such judgement? …issues man

anyways, this piece was intended to open up a dialong about the positive aspect of our culture rather than the negative. from time to time its nice to remember that…

Emebet: you spoke the truth, nothing but the truth. I just vividly saw his pains talking to you so desperately. Africans (especially those fortunate who directly came to this blessed USA will never understand the intrication of a refugee in the other parts of this world). I could go on and on…but… that itself is another one topic.

your comment simply brought flashback of those terrible moments when i got to Germany (Berlin) at the end of ‘86 as a refugee. what u said is what it was/is. Full of agonies & hopelessness in a strange land. anyone with compassion can just penetrate their pains, their depressing stories and at least unnderstand ..and appreciate ,…how free, blessed and empowered we are in the State! in deed, God BLESS AMERICA!

Chala: Give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he misses people like him so much. may be not. People like us are not in abundance, and empowered in that area. If you think you can feel as empowered and as confident as you are now, with whatever life baggage you lead your life, just imagine going there and live and work or even worse become a refugee with no prospect of what it is to become tomorrow.

Even, Meron, a Lady, that encountered him first-hand, didn’t get the impression that he was upto something (if she did, she gracefully avoided that. I call that wisdom!). That doesn’t mean she lacks that feminine instinct. she probably sensed, but may be, unlike others, her wisdom overlooked other baggages. if that is not wisdom and grace i don’t know what it is.

So, give the man another angle, since i also have mixed feelings on why he did what he did, b/c of my first-hand experience as a refugee and all of us’s perception & trust of people back then. And I have seen so many Ethiopians, Eritreans being in an awakward situation. some of us lost it, some of us adapt the enviorn quickly and survived.

I come across to many in the State, who so inflatedly forget how they used to be back in Africa, the mind-set, our psyco-analysis, our dependency, lack of common-sense, intution, individuality, our indepedent-mindness, our individual freedom, etc..wezeterefe… yet we dismiss as though we hadn’t been pinned down to be stripped off all that until ..this America freed us for good. Are we just forgetful or simply are in-denial?