This is coming from a habesha guy who displayed all those faults: waited on a girl to change her mind for YEARS, got stuck in the friend zone several times with different girls, and more.

The day I faked the alpha male was the day women flocked to me like I was giving away guicci purses. But I didn’t like what I’d become and turned inward, focusing on developing myself and situation in life. Something happens with age and self development: for lack of better words you start not giving a fuck. Alpha male tendencies became natural suddenly. I’m not going to elaborate on my sexual exploits since that’s inappropriate BUT if I didn’t have some moral fiber, I could have a different girlfriend every weekend.

Now women shouldn’t take offense to this. And here’s why. It is not about manipulating women. If a woman doesn’t like you, then she doesn’t like. No posturing on your part is going to change that. This is simply a way to deal with the indecisiveness that so many women exhibit. What woman whats a man who puts up with their indecisiveness? In any setting, a man who knows what he wants and is in full charge of his surroundings is a man who stands out to women. That is a man who is capable.

We can look at this from another perspective. I do not see this as any different than the women who wear tons of makeup, fake hair, fake nails, whatever fashionable clothing to hide their tummy and rolls, etc all to entice (some might say fool) a man. How can we expect a man to act like himself when many women present themselves disingenuously? We commonly blame society’s high standards for women arranging themselves into gaudy, confections of artwork (complete with the blonde curly fro that makes them seem like a pack of lionesses). However, we consistently overlook the standards we expect of men most likely because those same standards calls for sucking things up “like a man”.

So before we start crucifying the blogger, lets take a step back and objectively look at the standards we’re enforcing on each others and what it’s going to take for an everday person to meet them.

Anyways I am in agreement with soj, none of my relationships with guys is purely platonic. Men and woman can’t be purely platonic friends except in rare occasions.

What kind of thinking is this? men and women can very well be friends. I have guy friends who are married. my husband, who is a business man has women friends. My husband and are and have always been faithful to each other.

The problem is people are no longer self controlled these days. They see someone and wantto jump to bed with them. ( it’s so evil ) It’s so selfish and irresponsible, immoral to lead a reckless life.

Therefore, don’t feel that i singled you out, pls. .. Insulting you!? I’d never do that!

If it’d been my wish, i’d've set a rule to remove Profanity. In my view, it would derail the message & devalue the messenger. But again, that is me. I Hate profanity, even when I was 13.

Hope you have a mellow day.

Wudneshwua: Don’t intrigue me now. Plzzz.. You women have to give us a reason to stand up for you.

whether you and other women believe it or not, there are so many men out there who are captivated by the graceful, independent, high-achiever, an Eagle, and wise women.

There are many men who dont pay attention on a woman’s beauty or her femininity. They look something deeper. But, many women themselves don’t get it. Because, MANY women are captivated and carried away by their own imagination of “I am needed!”. In the process, as time goes to infinity, those men fade away like a cloud on a clear sky!

the rest becomes history, and you and I know it!

Let me repeat myself again. I grew up admiring, cheering our LegeHare, arat kilo girls for their stand up against the staus-quo of our cultue to use their God-given physical & mental potential to the max. I was captivated then and i am still day-dreaming them.

so, don’t ruleout ’bout those pro-women men. In one condition though: Only if you women don’t rely too much in the femininism power! We men want to see more than femininism in’em. Show us the money and we stand up!

Y’go get a chocolate mellow day now!

By the way I am (bold, grayed, oversexed, and over educated single) single Ethiopian male

[quote comment="29539"]Dinichye…
yeGna bathon yiqochegn neber abo! uff… so true… the issue is much more intricate and complicated than whatever the ethiofused stereotype is about…there may be more categories even…
DK’s talking some sense too…gotta say….

Finally the guys get to speak…! reasonable men, please stand up!
tho, how sad that some ppl have piled all the women on this thread as emotional rhetorics…[/quote]

b) the rule of respect must apply across the the spectrum though. we shouldn’t categorize it and create special-interest groups as politicians do.

We dont need to interface with a person to exibit respect, even if it is a cyber world.

Respecting others reflect that we respect oneself.

I would love it if you could give me a little bit of clarification on this here part B. Cause if you’re saying I’m favoring Nolawi and disrespecting others then sorry to disappoint you but I replied as I see fit to specific comments. People tend to wanna place a gag order when I say what I have to say. So sorry to disappoint you again but I work alone and don’t need a posse to reply to a comment. No I’m not mad at you cause I don’t need further misunderstanding.

b) the rule of respect must apply across the the spectrum though. we shouldn’t categorize it and create special-interest groups as politicians do.

We dont need to interface with a person to exibit respect, even if it is a cyber world.

Respecting others reflect that we respect oneself.

c)Observing from your writings, you are pro-independent, and so possessing that token, don’t you think Nolawi should defend himself.? otherwise, all these talk of independent mindedness, etc.. becomes hypocrazzzy.

I agree with Temlkach .. the profanity was uncalled for, in the article ..it has added a tasteless X-factor on the message and plummetted it to its lowest standard, In my view.

Dinch: Good insight!

Well maybe it is just me but when someone tells me something saying “in my experience” I tend to assume they are talking about what they have gone through.

In anycase, the issues discussed on Bernos are almost always personal, often driven by experience. I can understand saying lets focus on the issue when talking about anything that has some objective meter. But here one can’t overlook the fact that our very perspective of events is very biased by experience. What I did is question the experience (or the biased view that may have come from it). Like I said some thought it was a personal attack; which it was not meant to be.

Celebrate, Number 5 is perhaps the most likely (I think number 4 is out, see paragraph 3 of the post).

Temari: Ok so paragraph 3 reads…”But there is one lesson I have learned in my experience that I wanted to share with my wondumoch.” exactly my point on #4 he wants to shed light on the whole ethiofused tennis match right? He didn’t say it was a particular or personal experience but it could also mean experience of witnessing his friends being dealt the friendship card right? Where exactly did you assume this was a personal story? I’m just curious.

This is not personal to you but everyone who’s making it all personal seems to be blowing off steam maybe from being played or regretting their past/present. I wish we could just discuss the issue instead of making it a venting central station.

Dinich, I love your comment and agree with you one million%.

Dude Nolawi, it is a LOOOONG WAY to scroll down to the bottom. I think you might want to set your width to 950px, hell you can even make it 1050px.

Ephrem

Finally the guys get to speak…! reasonable men, please stand up!
tho, how sad that some ppl have piled all the women on this thread as emotional rhetorics…

One thing that Nolawi failed to clarify is that there are different phases where the issue of “let’s be friends” comes up and how one should react to that depending on the situation. I think you kinda made it so universal. If a woman tells you that she wants to “stay as friends first” early on in a relationship, I think that’s okay. You haven’t given her enough time to get to know you better, so if she is worth it I’d stick around for a reasonable amount of time until she makes up her mind. And then you make the call.

The last and rare situation is, there are some guys who just have too many girl friends, and just remain friends forever. WTF is that? I don’t get that and I don’t want to either…

Number 5 is perhaps the most likely (I think number 4 is out, see paragraph 3 of the post).

Mariamawit demo,
There are three alternatives up there eko, one completely agrees with the post.

Sorry Nolawi if this came out as an insult, but that was not the intent. You say yourself to be honest. I just said what came to mind; in retrospect I should perhaps have been careful.