Awesome post! You have a great blog, absolutely the best Ive read so far. I will be looking forward to your next entry. Thanks again.

Here is my racisim experiance

http://habeshaviews.wordpress.com/2008/03/26/how-others-think-of-you-huummm/

Halla Anon we meet again:),….

*The cultural gap between me and my parents as big as our experiences… In some ways, Gudu had a point. I got go….*

Mine too, but I am not sure that the gap wasn’t there when I lived at home, even then the cultural gulf between my mother’s life and mine was quite vast. Of course abroad and away from the unifying cultural traits we have the gap further widened. To further complicate things I have an additional identity to the one of my parents ie sum total of both their cultural identities and whereas their own sense of identity and cultural values is/was rooted to their counties of origins mine is of different places, and needs lots of jugglin about lol…

Someday Anon I will go home and be just the one thing, and there will be no more adapting of being this that and the other alll the sodding time I hope:)because it is really exhausting…

I missed this one, I wasn’t arround when this blog was an issue.
Since I get involve mostly when I see Hidaya I want to say I am not sure you have much choice in picking and selecting and molding your culture when you are far away from it. You become or acquire cultural traits of where you find yourself living… distant cultures fade just like distant memories. Mush? The cultural gap between me and my parents as big as our experiences… In some ways, Gudu had a point. I got go….

its updated now

by the way for the non ethios reading this blog Ye’Nech neger new” neger is not the word for black, it means thing in amharic. yes i had some people asking me that@!

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You see when you grow up in a place, where whites live, hung out …. We think we are in control of our life. …and yet we feel very civilized and moderate for being different and ‘ourselves’…sadly we are not ourselves, instead we are just brainwashed….

Gosh… Hidaya ..Endew..Endew ..min Laderegish!

How so deeply you delved into and extracted it so finely in a way to rudely awaken an agonized soul, & penetrated so deep into the forbidden zone, the Abesha zone.

Vielen Dank, Du bist Gross! in a gentle way!

It owould have been easier for all of us, if, each of us experienced … a journey that is so similar.

But, some of us journeyed a life more so complex one, and some journeyed a very protected and cozy one, yet now, we are in the same SIDET’s pool and tearing each other’s apart for not meeting each other’s expectation and needs in life.

The core problem!? the fact that we refuse to recognize each other’s diverse path.

How sweet to analyze this, analyze that in just a piece of cyber paper.

You see when you grow up in a place, where whites live, hung out in places where often whites do…celebrate white holidays, go to white school, watch white peoples propoganda TV…etc ….all these things directly or indirectly program you and make you who you are today… But remember the white empire always function in a certain way. They have their rules and they know very well how to brainwash you. The problem however we don’t know it. We think we are in control of our life. We sometimes wake up and see ourselves accepting things that are against our cultural values…and yet we feel very civilized and moderate for being different and ‘ourselves’…sadly we are not ourselves, instead we are just brainwashed….

Gudu,

You make it sound like it is outside of people’s control how much they wish to integrate to other cultures,it is not,no one has to go all the way in integrating with other cultures and one can pick and choose which is relevant, complementary and accomodating to the culture one is born to.

Gudu, I’ve been meaning to ask….would you care to enlighten the rest of us what you’d ideally think we should be had we not been so ” brainwashed?”?
Since, you have indicated that you believe in free speech, here is my two cents…I agree that people are shaped up by what they read and watch and all that so there is some grain of truth on how we are influenced by the holidays celebrated around us or stuff we watch on tv…the works, but when you say that, it comes accross (correct me if I’m wrong) as though you are also saying we integrate values from elsewhere without evaluating its true value in our own framework. It also seems you doubt out capability to evaluate at all…please feel free to correct me anytime.

Gudu, I read a couple of your comments, Thank you for sharing.

I do disagree, and I could try to rebuttal as to why and try to make my point but I won’t… the reason is you came here probably read a lot of different posts and decided to make your input only negatively… we have written only dozens of different topics, some good and some bad, and some empowering and some discouraging… and everyone has their own opinions as to what is what…

but it seems to me that you have pretty much set up your mind and it is not even open to discussion.. so let it be…

we do look forward to a positive review/feedback from you.. thanks!

-please don’t get offended but I think in my opinion most of you are brain washed. Unlike the Ethiopian joke issue(By Nol), this one seems to be quite interesting…. In fact, it sort of created a chance for some of you to show your true self. It even made me to think may be Nol had a good reason to make fun of his people. After all mother Ethiopia wasn’t a country that he was proud to be from. May be he was abused in high school for being an Ethiopian…may be that is why he was mad at Ethiopians and came up with that issue…anyway I don’t want to go back to what I read earlier…that would definitely confuse many people but I want to say few things and let you all go… First of all, Thank you all for sharing. I have already made you angry by saying you are brainwashed. I will try to explain why I think you are brainwashed. Remember I am not going to tell you something you don’t know. I am sure none of you are ready to share my reasons regardless of how true and well I present them because most of you live in denial. So you have your set of mind and I have mine,and yet I must say one of the reason why I think you are brainwash: You see when you grow up in a place, where whites live, hung out in places where often whites do…celebrate white holidays, go to white school, watch white peoples propoganda TV…etc ….all these things directly or indirectly program you and make you who you are today… But remember the white empire always function in a certain way. They have their rules and they know very well how to brainwash you. The problem however we don’t know it. We think we are in control of our life. We sometimes wake up and see ourselves accepting things that are against our cultural values…and yet we feel very civilized and moderate for being different and ‘ourselves’…sadly we are not ourselves, instead we are just brainwashed….

How sad is that Nol?

Tobian- I must check out Hunter Mtn (NY) and I love that its in NY. I love anything NY!!

adey- thanks for the idea. since i wont be having a valentine I willbe planning a bungee jumping trip. Im so excited!

Chelema – what is a “yeGeNa Qilae?”

Mamitu, I tell you it’s pure ignorance of some ppl for thinking reading is a white thing enji, my sister and I and a lot of Nazareth school students were very famous for being book-worms in Addis Ababa and I truly wonder if we all learnt it from the Ferenjoch! I don’t think so! Now the quality of intellect in the books is another Q but where reading is concerned…Ferenjoch ain’t got anything on us!

Dinch, You brought up a good point about culture shock. According to webster, it’s…

a sense of confusion and uncertainty sometimes with feelings of anxiety that may affect people exposed to an alien culture or environment without adequate preparation

I’ve always wondered why ppl feel culture shock is a bad thing, I think it’s actually an eye-openner on how other ppl live and alternate values. Yes, it is true that some just take the whole package and lose touch with their roots and somehow replace their initial views with it. But others could take it as a buffet of views where you can pick n’ choose because at the end of the day, culture is a compilation of values and routines and where parenting is concerned, we can custom design the culture we wish to teach our kids and don’t need to feel we have to choose any one way!

Thank you so much for sharing… DINICH

I was really offended by the comment and I told the person “I am sorry, but I don’t consider myself a less competent parent than a FERENJ” not because of the things I learned about parenting from FERENJOCH but I think I value more my abesha parenting that I learned from my mom and dad than a FERENJ parenting. I am glad I have two cultures to learn from but if you force me to choose one over the other, I prefer abesha parenting where love is the main driving force.

I am glad you told them!

Yemi,

I like how you said:

Then, I picked and chose what I wanted to incorporate into myself.

I have always considered myself a culturally lucky person because I have habesha roots and also exposure to other cultures where I can learn some things. Some call it a cultural shock but I prefer to call it a cultural blessing. When I first came to FERENJ AGER(Canada) 15 years ago, my goal was to leave everything abesha behind and learn FERENJ stuff. But now I see that 95% of what I am today is what my parents were and I am thankful for all the things I learned from my parents and the abesha culture in general. I am also thankful for the things I learned from FERNJOCH.

I live in a 95% Italian neighbourhood but I didn’t even know or care to know when I moved. The colour of my neighbours was not an issue. As much as possible I like to keep a colour blind approach to the issue. I didn’t see any sign that says this neighbourhood is reserved for Italians.

I have a 4 year old (Another parent, Nolawi). He is generally a very calm boy. But as a typical 4 year he gets angry once in a while. He was angry one day in front of a few abesha adults and one of them said.. “Ye abesha lij…”. That reminded me of how we always attribute the good things to FERENJ. I was really offended by the comment and I told the person “I am sorry, but I don’t consider myself a less competent parent than a FERENJ” not because of the things I learned about parenting from FERENJOCH but I think I value more my abesha parenting that I learned from my mom and dad than a FERENJ parenting. I am glad I have two cultures to learn from but if you force me to choose one over the other, I prefer abesha parenting where love is the main driving force.

I have been told I act white even though I do an enormous amount of Ethiopian stuff. What the hell?

When I came to America, I considered both the mainstream white culture and the black American culture equally alien to me. Then, I picked and chose what I wanted to incorporate into myself. That was that.

Chelema, love your positive and no mood swing attitude, wish you can bottle and sell it. An Abesha daredevil now I’ve heard it all…Evil Knievel Kebede.

Chelema – what is a “yeGeNa Qilae?”
I think for most if you are in a so-called white sport, you are out right crazy. I don’t know may be this kind of group may consider it cool. Even running is deemed ‘white’ and we all know who the best runners are. I remember going to a new city and asking if the park was safe & this abesha guy thought I was out of my mind.
As far as ‘Ethiopian’ activities, they are in with a vengeance.. hide&seek gone kookooloo. YeMariam mahbers of friends that don’t know ha’hu, cds with abesha lullabies, abesha book clubs that discuss amharic books, abesha running clubs & artist groups etc. “What we do (that is ethiopian) is cool/ now.

Oh people, would you stop? black, white, habesha, geene zibaznke…. what the hell?

Celebrate, thank you for bringing the black heros in the so-called white sport.

Here is what I have a problem with, if one habesha plays a so-called white sport, he is looked at this cool dude who is fun to be with. If habesha chick does the same, she’s also looked at being open minded and cool to be with. That in itself tells me that we just don’t think what we do (that is ethiopian) is cool at all.

How about we play “yeGeNa Qilae?” I bet that would make some people look cool. I used to be a dangerous stunt God with roller blades in college, jumping off stairs and stuff but we did it as wild teenage habesha boys. I wonder how people looked at us back then, may be “habesha-boyz-gone-white” can’t be “habesha-boyz-gone-black” that would be rediculous. Just do what you think is fun. You would still be cool so long as you don’t brag about it being a non-habesha thing. its a TURN OFF

Btw Temelkach, I always enjoy your topics. This is a great one!

Who broke the stereotypical barriers? Lets start with Tiger Woods in golf, Venus and Serena Williams in tennis. May I add they are the leaders, the winners, and the ones everyone wants to be like when they grow up. We can always assume you’re like this or that because of the color of your skin or where/when you were born but that assumption only make those who assume it look look and sound ignorant.

Now growing up I loved rock, I now love rap/hardcore rap and I also love Classical/Opera, I own 50’s full collection as well as Sarah Brightman’s. Do I wear corn rolls or bamboo earings or better yet am I always dressed to impress in a lavish evening gown, NOT! I can enjoy a rap concert as much as a good ballet. I have been labeled this or that growing up and to be honest there were times when it irritated the hell out of me, especially being called an Oreo yes a damn cookie, my favorite no doubt (black on the outside, white on the inside) or the best one was when someone said you realize you’re like a raisin in a bowl of milk. Love it and I still use it to describe awkward situations.

Now as an independent working adult I have very good friends who are Nigerian, Trini, and AA my best friends being Ethiopian, with similar childhood experience, and when we all get together we don’t say oh you’re Nigerian you’re not supposed to like this or ze AA so you’re into rap. To be honest I love rap more than my AA friends who seem to love the John Legend type of groove. I love my group of friends and most of all I love how most of us seem to ask our Nigerian friend, HUH? Cause we hardly understand what she be sayin but she laughs and says hey, hey, hey damn Nigerian wanna be’s.

The important thing about life and stereo types is that you don’t live up to other peoples warped expectations. You live as yourself, at the of the day say, “EMYAQE YAQENGAL’

A true and funny story…my bro in law went hand gliding and I remember some of our relatives saw the photos and said ayeee erasen lemegdel metatar leka ende ferenjochu fashion honewal Amerikan ager. Menew yeAbesha dem eko endezeh neger ayewedem. That was the highlight of all comments…didn’t you know the Abesha blood type don’t be liken the white folk style of activitiy hahahaha. We laughed so hard because they refused to see it any other way. I’m still trying to figure out our national blood type.

Have a great weekend! Go out and do something white, black and blue.

Meron – good choice..skiing keWinter gar liyaTalagn neber. It was hard for me to learn. Snowboarding was fun and easy to learn.

Wude – the link was funny
may i suggest bungee jumping on valentine, it is tandem and you do it naked and it is free..you can’t top that
http://www.bungyzone.com/

Ere…beyond Jazz….reggae’s prolly also been appropriated by white, hippy, marijuana-loving whites too….
At this year’s ‘The Whalers’ concert there were prolly 75-85% whites!!

According to my jah-living, semi-rasta black friend, Dancehall’s the new reggae for blacks…Elephant man’s concert was def packed with 90% blacks!

Just like there’s a death of the soul of jazz & hip hip — dancehall’s doing that for reggae.

Wude….I gotta agree with Nolawi, the cockney accent’s hella sexy!
how come u’re not shagged up with some cockney-speaking cutie from london? (assuming that u’re not) And bout the bungee jumping more power to you girl!

selling out is an invisible form of slavery??

maybe talking in “ebonics” or “spanglish” or “Amhanglish” may not be overtly pulling us back…
gin…if reading, traveling, sports other than bball/fball/athletics, music other than r&b minaminc… are labled ‘white’ those are real restrictions for non-whites who adhere to non-white activities.

I’m not in business but everything but anything is a ‘business’ when it comes to careers in the U.S. And networking and adjusting to the work environment which is majority white-therefore dominated by ‘white-culture’ has a lot to do with breaking past the cultural pre-requisits. Climbing the success ladder itself has to do with lots of behavioural adjustments which may be termed ‘white’ vs. black…this of course may not be too much of a restriction for immigrant communities that are are infamous for ‘get with the program attitudes’ when it comes to education and careers.