Buchela is not her dog, it’s her baby. Her name is Yemi and she recently moved to China with her infant buchela. I don't know if there is a man around, I think their might be. Apparently, she is Ethiopian American from San Francisco.
I don't know yet why she moved to China since her full time job is taking care of the buchela; let me know when you figure it out! She recently turned 33. The buchela doesn't look Ethiopian at all, I think he maybe keles.
Anyways, I have been following her activities for about a month now, and I am hooked. She cooked her Wot in a Wok, sounds familiar!
What the hell is this buchela going to do today? its genna eko!
Yemi is a great blogger… she is very personal, writes in short wonderful sentences. She is consistent, brief and creates value in her topic. Go on read, participate and free grazers graze!
Published by January 11th, 2007 in Childhood.Send this post to a friend
I have been reading her blog too, one thing I could say abut her is HILARIOUS!!! I almost peed in my pants when I was reading a couple of her posts.
Iwa! Sewiyew simu Paul new … he works, and brings work buddies home for genna. I guess the name explains the kilis buchila
(i was told that ‘kilis’ is an offensive term … didn’t get that impressing while I was growing up … but jic, no offense intended).
Mamitu – she’s very funny. The part where she called the Ethiopian Embassy to ask for Injera recipe in China … that took the cup!
I like the blog..one more reason to divert away from my work. Thanks for sharing Nolawi! Sharing is caring!
I never ever heard the kilis is offensive… even so i dont think she will find it offensive at all… since she calls her baby buchela…. I saw that Tobian, i wonder what paul does for living?… and is he white … she is indeed funny, the part where it says:
the whole thing about an ugly baby reminds me of Seinfield episode… I am glad she found out from an indepedent sorry buchela is actually cute!
indeed curious sharing is caring… eventually we will create a network of ethio-bloggers purely on the virtue blogging from a personal aspect… tobian, merhawi's, carpe's, buchela, aqumada, and chereka's are my favorates..
She is very interesting and loveable. Most of the time ppl who marry other races have a hard time bringing their
own culture to the marriage and they some what get lost in between; but she seems to have it easy and enjoying it. That lil Buchila is so cute!
I agree very intersting and funny
I run into abesha wedding websites the other day that included how they met and proposed.. cute and romantic
http://www.essence.com/essence/willyoumarryme/profile_fasil.html
please vote for them2
Now this is a wonderful woman, loves her culture, loves to cook, loves to take care of her baby….
BUT WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO GO AND MARRY STUPID WHITE PERSON, WHY DIDNT SHE MARRY AN ETHIOPIAN WOND!
I have to tell you this is stupid that Ethiopian girls are leaving us behind. Abesha wondoch do not primarly date outside of our culture. I am frustrated by this.
minew abeshaw -ay yante neger
you are going to make this a war zone with that comment
i can see a Tor coming your way
duck, duck
She’s so funny. The spitting thing, hilarious. this planet is amazing. really amazing.
Yeah, I have read her blog a few times. She is pretty funny.
Abeshaw (#7), minew tinish abeshawi sine sireat godeleh?
Abesha wonde,
I have visted the blog and admired her determination to maintain her Ethiopian heritage in the middle of nowhere.
I find your comment to be totally disrespectful of her efforts.
Hmmm
First Dinich, I read all your comments and I find you to be so dang positive its amazing… wise man, you must be old…
second all of you man, i love you guys, i just went back yemi’s site and saw that you guys just bombarded the site, the number of views just double quadrpled.. that is eight times… for lack of a knowing what and how to say eightpled…
abesha wonde- has a good point… why did she have to go and marry a white guy?
Ah Nolawi,
Are you trying to stir the pot?
You said “why did she have to go and marry a white guy? ” Mamitu says why the heck not?
no mamitu, its just that I beleive an ethiopian man should be given first shot..
WHY????
Wey firjachew … if white people don’t marry black, then they’re racist. If they marry black then they’re stealing ‘our’ people.
Culturally she sounds very Ethiopian, even more Ethiopian than some Ethiopians who grew up in Ethiopia. As for the sewiye, for a guy who lets her be as much habesha as she’s now and he’s happy to have that as his family, that’s already more habesha of him than habesh men who grew up in Ethiopia who don’t know, or worse yet, don’t want to know about their culture/country.
Different strokes for different folk. I’m sure there’s a ‘habesha’ couple in China who’s trying to raise an American family.
Soooo … y u pple hatin’ … bemayagebach’hu?
Tobian,
DITTO!!!
Noli, when I read the first sentence.. Yemi.. Ymui who.. that yemi? no yemi the other one. which one? the one ye CHAINEWA yemi… owww.kezza lebe serrawn jemerre LOL. Noli you know what i am to talking about… let me go back and read yemi’s bolg……
hmm
lol
Doro Matta why are you hmming?
buchila endaybelagn
Tobian and mamitu
the question is are Ethiopian men good enough for Ethiopian girls?
if the answer is yes, then that explains the reason I am in consensus with abesha wond that Ethiopian men and Ethiopian woman should try to stay together… they should be given first shot…malete nuew!
sose, i dont know what you are talking about…
race gat nothin to do with love… nor species
Good nolwi,
speaking about why Ethiopian woman should try to stay with abesha guy? sometimes abesha guy’s are wasting abesha seat time. kezza allfo terffo demmo yetegabatchew bizzat they bring a wife from Ethiopia. here Abesha wende never ready for abesha girl. I am not ready blah blah blah. dud I got no time for your funks ass. White… black … Italians hey that’s a choice. I need my eggs to be use before they die..
the question is are Ethiopian men good enough for Ethiopian girls?
some of them are yes. they are good enough to be a boyfriend not for husband.. but I will never ask my self am I good enough for abesha guy? hell noo I think that’s a confidence problem. we abesha’s, have issue’s anyways..
lol sose…
enjoyed ur point of view
girl, now u got me cracking up!!
It’s so true though. That’s a deadline placed by the one above…
women got the precious and limited goods — very literaly.
abesha men are too good for abesha women
lemin yihon doro mata?
What goods r we talkin bout here?
in every way, when you measure goodness by the person’s own ego.
LOL
good one!
Doro mata, you remind me physicology class.
you must read a lot “Albert Elias” have you though that abesha guys are not Too Good To Last?
who is Albert Elias?
abesha guys demo, they aint good enough to melas, let alone too good to last.
[quote comment="12457"]who is Albert Elias?
abesha guys demo, they aint good enough to melas, let alone too good to last.[/quote]
He is a psychologist in the ninteen fifties.
oh okay.
thanks sose.
We went on a few days long trip to Sodo (Gurage region). We spent the night in a hut full of friendly fleas. He didn’t complain. We helped make kocho in a hut so full with smoke our stinging eyes watered. He was fascinated. We went to the river to collect water. It was brown. We needed to pour the water from one container to another as the dirt settled at the bottom making the top soil free enough to cook with. He helped. He needed to use the toilet. He was told to go among the inset plants. He did, without a comment.
Except for two meals, we ate kocho and ayeb. We hiked. We boiled pasta with the brown water we collected from the river. We went to a tiny dilapidated church atop of a small hill at six in the morning on a Sunday. We drank Arake, we sang, and danced with the people.
He told me later, this trip was the highlight of his stay in Ethiopia.
We got married.
ooopppsss and Yemi made her point abesha wonde. It’s not the common birthplace it’s love, life, and happiness that unites people.
My god yemi.
My sincere apologies.
If he did all that I would marry him myself!
yeqirta!
Nolawi, Who’s to say that the ethio sistas who’re married/dating outside of their culture didn’t give abesha wendoch first shot…? Maybe they searched and dated…ina beMechereshaw the search was to no avail or they got tired of playing with some uniquely yeAbeshawend tsebayoch.
(my friend always says: “beAbeshanetachin iNinanaQalen”)
When it comes to marriage … I believe it’s a matter of the heart – you can’t tell your heart who it should fall in love with. weyis can u?
Thanks celebrate. I surely didn’t want to follow Yemi. The woman seems to know what she does and she made her point well without making it like she is defending herself.
Like some of the Bernos crowd, I managed to go through her entire blog and here is a very interesting, definitely smart abesha woman who has a great sense of humor, and seems very happy.
One thing I haven’t figured out about the subject of abesha setoch giving abesha wendoch first chance to marry them is this: isn’t the statement loaded with a lot of assumption that she hadn’t done just that? Even if she hadn’t, doesn’t the fact that she will always (in the back of her mind) wonder about it outweigh the fact that some abesha out there lost a chance from hooking up with her? After all, it’s her life. That abesha guy (mind you, he’s a figment of our imagination) doesn’t even know that he had lost a chance with her, so what’s the point?
Having said that, when it comes to marriage, I prefer abesha set.
http://www.bernos.org/blog/2006/10/11/no2-inter-cultural/
Hey you guys,
I feel like this is my coming out party! Thanks for visiting my blog. Boy, one posting from Nolawi and I am discovered!
I am in awe.
Ababiru, I always enjoy your comments. Yes, Yemi sure is a very happy and confidant woman and you’re right she didn’t defend herself she just laid out the reality of what drew them to each other and no so much why she chose a non Abesha.
Abesha Setoch do give Abesha wondoch a chance first, at least most do. And for those women who want to settle for anything asap they will grab the first one that shouts “hey I’m here, available and ready!” If a woman knows what she wants she doesn’t give up until she finds him.
What’s so funny is being with a non-Abesha. About a month ago I ran into a friend of the family I haven’t seen in a long time. We were never close but I always thought he was good looking. During the holidays we had the chance to sit and actually talk and we were so drawn to each other because we were coasting on the same wave length. After talking for almost 4 or 6 hours, I lost track of time, we forgot we were among others and that rarely happens to me with an Abesha guy. I never thought I would ever meet an Abesha I would so connect with let alone a friend of the family. Who would’ve known we would hit it off other than the occasional glaring and my cousin always telling me we’re a perfect match. Of course now my relationship is in trouble because I can’t get him out of my mind and seeing that he showed so much interest I’m very careful on how I approach the situation. It’s all about timing.
What I’m trying to say is sometimes we need to stop, look and listen without assuming this or that. You’d be surprised I sure was. Now for my situation, pray for me cause I’m gonna need it. The damn missed Redez-vous article didn’t help either.
I agree, for those interested in marriage and kids give your brothers a chance. For those of us who have never been interested in marriage it’s all fair game but please, please pray for me.
Quite a nice blog it is – pretty entertainin’. Thanx for sharin the link.
Now talkin’ bout Ethiopians and marriage: I always find it funny when Ethiopians (esp men) question the validity of a marriage, particularly that of an Ethiopian lady with a non-Ethiopian person. I think marriage is a personal choice and shouldn’t be done to please a society.
I sometimes wonder why we criticize a fellow Ethiopian for being with a non-Ethiopian. We sometimes forget the fact tha people can choose to be with anyone (or anythin for tha matter) they want. There’s really no such thing as, like Ethiopian women should marry Ethiopian men or Ethiopian men should be given priority, and vice versa. Doesn’t really make a lotta sense. It’s not like we own anyone to have the authority to dictate who should marry who/what.
Besides, love isn’t like any other and cannot simply be imposed onto someone or somethin, and it certainly doesn’t know limits or boundaries. Love is freedom.
Ps. celebratelife, keep applyin the ‘law of attraction’. You’ll be just fine :=)
[quote comment="12487"] keep applyin the ‘law of attraction’. You’ll be just fine :=)[/quote]
ohhh.. mengedegna… seen “The Secret” by any chance?
celebratelife, I will pray for you enatalem! Ayzon!
now back to the issue of abesha setoch VS abesha wendoch…
My take…. (Get the facts and the evidence first).
I think in this situation, Abesha wendoch and Abesha setoch are in total confusion with one another. Some look at it as sticking to your own kind, others look at it as lack of self confidence. I look at it as jelousy.
The fact is, abesha men can not stand to see abesha setoch going with another nationality. Its not because they feel they haven’t been given a chance first(don’t let them fool you, most of them blew every chance they got) but the fear of being diminished intime with the talk of all abesha girls undermining the abilities of abesha wondoch to be the perfect gentlemen.
I personally don’t even want to hear generalized comments such as (abesha wond/saet beqagn) ’cause I know that is nothing but bull-crap. Love don’t choose, but you would always find yourself doggin’ on something you don’t have, its just human nature.
We must first understand each other. Abesha setoch could be a little hard to get (some of them), that could be the fact. The evidence is what you would see amongst your ethiopian community. We are conservative due to culture. So how about we take that under consideration and change the rules of engagement a little, and use a different approach? same goes for women.
The first mistake abesha setoch make is to compare abesha wond with white, african american, latino, asian whatever. not only is that a turn off, but its also wrong. Each men has his own qualities despite his nationality.
One last thing, both abesha wondoch and abesha setoch need to work on the subtext of their conversation. What I mean by that is to focus on the things that’s not being said during a conversation. Its funny how we could be too quick to judge. When a girl says…”please shut the door(meaning….so we can finally be alone together, darling)…” the guy interprets it as “please shut the door (you stupid ass)” see what i mean?
guys, if you want ethiopian setoch to give you the first shot, at least act like you deserve it.
girls/ladies, if you want abesha wondoch to act right, send them to “boot camp”.
[quote comment="12489"][quote comment="12487"] keep applyin the ‘law of attraction’. You’ll be just fine :=)[/quote]
ohhh.. mengedegna… seen “The Secret” by any chance?[/quote]
Yeah, I have Doro Mata. I thought it was very powerful.
I am one of those who gave abesha men a serious chance….I finally found a wonderful guy who gave me back the chance I deserved. We are now happily married.
He is not abesha.
[quote comment="12484"]Hey you guys,
I feel like this is my coming out party! Thanks for visiting my blog. Boy, one posting from Nolawi and I am discovered!
I am in awe.[/quote]
ha ha, I am happy for you… but its not me really, you would have had to have good content for people to respond that way… and you do..
another thing is that your content is personal, and in our culture it is considered wrong to tell about your self in public
you know what they say, to keep family matters mistir
anyways it is very easy to connect with you right away… that always makes a great blogger IMHO
this is my point as a woman
Why do you wine and dine and romance your women if you have no intention of marrying ?
Why do you whine and complain when you see us lay our eggs in the nest of other races?
Why do you sneer at us when we turn the “ideal age for marriage” and are unmarried? And why do you slap the culture book at us when we have children out of wedlock? It is a shame the way some Abesha men in this country have treated and continues to treat us like that. It is truly a shame!
While I find it interesting that some of the guys on this forum are lamenting abesha women’s choice to marry non-abeshas, I thought that I would share the following:
Last Saturday, my husband (white) and I went to get some abesha food at a restaurant in DC.
After we ordered leb leb kitfo, the waitress expressed concern about him and asked if it should be well done. I said “No, we both like leb leb.”
She then asked if he was my “gwadegnga.”
I replied “Ay , bale new.”
Clearly pleased, she says “Gosh! Enkwan tikur alhone enji minem aydelem.”
I politley smiled while thinking “WTF! Is that supposed to be a compliment?”
What does this say about us as a people?
Abesheet! I understand your frustration. The African American heritage unfortunatley has an image problem even among Ethiopian folks. My own mother dislikes african americans and I never understood why. My younger sister Lily is married to a white man, so my mom made several comments stating that she sure is glad her daughter didn’t bring a black man home if he ain’t Ethiopian. I don’t think a lot of us realize this but we are just as ignorant as so called “recist” clans people talk about every now and then. It’s disgusting but it’s true!
God Bless
The Uncle!
I personally do not care if he is black or white or puerto rican…. I just prefer that our wondoch are not left behind…
family is the only way we can keep our heritage intact while we go from first generation immigrants to second and third…
Just like the Irish catholics in the boston area…. and the Italians…minamin…
Its ok to marry white black and others but you know.. Abesha Men are also good enough…
Uncle B,
are you saying that all Abesha guys has a good image?
Absolutely not Sose, then I will be stereotyping. I’m just saying that we (Ethiopians) have a biazed opinion about other Africans/Blacks. We have been doing that since back home.
wtf is wrong with some folks? you make it sound like abesha people are ENTITLED to be with abesha women!??!?
yemi, much respect to you and your family. i’m loving the blog. went thru the entire thing in one sitting at work today. keep it going, sister.
why do you worry about us? go marry white,black,yellow I don’t care it’s your choice. when it comes to us BIG DEAL
I speak of the abesha male in the Diasporas. I speak of men, not individually, but collectively. I have known men who are extraordinary both in their private and public lives. But today, I make no distinction, and instead have as the focus of my treatise the general male population in the Diasporas. There are no mysteries surrounding men. There is nothing that can’t be explained about men. But in their relationship with women and with fellow men, men tend to convey and or project a godlike picture. Their attitude and disposition are quite different. For abesha men, life is all about power and a can-do-attitude; it is about “me, therefore me.” have an exaggerated sense of entitlement. They believe they own the world, therefore they rule the world. They make war, make peace; they build and they destroy.
so when it comes to abesha guy, Abesha guy is perplexing. He can be enigmatic. He can be everything and sometimes, nothing. He can be sweet and loving and caring and benevolent and at the same time oppressive. His life is full of contradictions. In so many ways, he is a wounded animal as a result of his historical past… sorry.
why do you go home and marry?
Why do abesha men go home to marry the “unknowns” instead of marrying the proven and the reliable here in the US? Well, it is because (1) they can; (2) most men are under the illusion that the women they knew back home are innocent, un-spoilt and virginal; (3) it is an ego boosting exercise in that it allows them to demonstrate to their people back in Africa that they too can bring one of their own to the US; (4) it allows some men to mask their “failures and shortcomings” since the women who are already in the US can tell where they are on the social and economic ladder. Additionally, some men want their women to look up to them since it makes them appear more than what and who they really are (at least in the initial stages).
do we do that NO.
that is why earlier I ask
[quote comment="12609"]this is my point as a woman
Why do you wine and dine and romance your women if you have no intention of marrying ?
Why do you whine and complain when you see us lay our eggs in the nest of other races?
Why do you sneer at us when we turn the “ideal age for marriage” and are unmarried? And why do you slap the culture book at us when we have children out of wedlock? It is a shame the way some Abesha men in this country have treated and continues to treat us like that. It is truly a shame![/quote]
Toothpick, Nobody said anything about entitlement! Just preference, some Ethio Ladies act like the men are not good enough, rich enough, not good looking enough, in comparison to a non-ethiopian. I think it is racism I tell you!
Yemi, indeed if that is the case I would marry him just like Nolawi
Sose I am with you. I am willing to come and fertilize your eggs anytime.
abesha wonde, I garante you that abesha girl never said ” ABESHA WONDE is not good enough for me” that’s abesha wonde think when you see abesha Chick with another race. you feel you are not good enough for her.
LOL about the fertilizeing my eggs.. hmmm are you strong enough? naa just kidding..
Finally Yemi, You go Girlfriend.. classey smart strong woman!!!
Toothpick –
Chelema, u threw that dart right @ the bull’s eye when u said:
“guys, if you want ethiopian setoch to give you the first shot, at least act like you deserve it.
girls/ladies, if you want abesha wondoch to act right, send them to “boot camp”. ”
Sose I’m in fully agreement with what you’re saying!!!
It really all comes down to the dirty business of ego, closed-mindedness ina respect. Asazagnu neger…I’m starting to have serious doubt whether God’s yet invented an Abesha guy for me. It seems belonging in the common Abesha culture holds back God’s techonology!
Abesha setoch are now more assertive than ever before! I’m proud to hail from a family that has setoch who are strong and independent for several generations!
With our conservative culture, it seems that it has not yet sparked yewendoch realization that a lot of us, abesha women are independent, intelligent ina full of vigour for life! We’re looking for openminded, confident yet considerate companions who will RESPECT that!
By that I mean he’d have to be open to different things to go have fun! Surely have confidence himself- so that I can do the same! and I wanna be able to sit and have a conversation with my opinions being respected!! I don’t want a guy acting shocked when I tell him my unconventional interests like: other cultures, politics, worldsoccer, and possibly even some “yeNetch” activities …
If yeAbesha set’s strength is knocking around his oh-so-knowledgable, oh-so-powerfullness EGO…sorry, but gotta move on!
I’m not gonna waste my time, I got other things to do & other places to be than stuck preparing the boothcamp schedule and investing lots of time and energy babysitting him through it!!
The Truth of the matter is, all men love their Ego but as we are all abeshas indeAbeshanetachin betam MeNaNaq inabezalen!
Woyne gud fella, I am not trying to add gas to the already burning fire but I think why a lot of Ethi men go to Ethiopia and bring back a wife is because they are intimidated by independent girls who are high achievers. They want a woman that doesn’t question their absolute authority in the house and is absolutly dependent on them, but the sad fact is the timid girl from home becomes independent as time goes by. What the men have to face is the good ol’ days are gone and face up to reality and adjust, accept the women as their equals and voila, they wouldn’t be complaining about the Ethi women looking elsewhere.
Mamitu!
Yemi, you are one classy lady… love your blog and especially the way you handled these comments.
My dear dysfunctional family… especially the men… have you heard: there are 30M eligible Chinese men out there? That means, you not only have to worry about the White and Black… but now the Chinese are in the race.
DawitK, did you read that? All that silence… you might just regret it later, if you know what I mean
May the best man/women win or should I say, may LOVE win?
BTW: Change starts from within…
BTW2: Nolawi, not only was I hooked on Bernos and trying to quit or at least slow down; now you have me hooked on Yemi’s blog – geez, thanks!!!
Uncle B….
wha’s wrong with asking for
a little respect? jus a lil bit!!!!!
Aretha sings it:
What you want (hooo) baby I got it
What you need (hooo) you know I got it
(Hooo) all I’m asking (hooo) is for a little respect
(Just a little bit) when you come home
(Just a little bit) hey baby ( Just little bit)
When you come home ( Just a Little Bit) Mister
R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to me
Wey gud! Ere somebody give Ethio men some love on this board … dang! Tough crowd.
OK. I like Ethiopian men. I like abesha humor … beTam. And I find them beTam randomly deg. CHewa sihonu demo you meet them 2 days before and the next thing you know they’re looking out for you like a little sister. (or sineshabachew they hit on you relentlessly, posses you … oh, wait, we’re talking nice now, aydel?)
Every time I meet an Ethio guy (or person, for that matter) my mind gets all twisted about how I’m connected to this person. Perhaps a distant ‘kazn’? A sibling’s friend? My friend’s ex? My ex’s ex’s ex? And it turns out to be something like the person is my father’s grade school best friend’s sister’s husband’s first child from a previous marriage AND according to my mom, I have been to this person’s house when I was 7 years old! “Tiz yilishal yane’kuwan Gulele aqebetu lay mekina tebelashta qomennnn … yehone sewiye meTto selam bilogn mekinawa iskitisera betachew wesdewin?” I keep staring with a blank expression on my face. “Beqa! Isu new abatiyew! TTTTTru sew, beTTam Tiru sew”. Still blank face. “In fact”, my mom continues, “igele (ye’akistish lij) is married to his sister.”
WHAT??
But seriously, I think it’s harder to start a relationship with someone in the habesh community coz it’s too damn tight! It’s risky if it doesn’t work out. Demo be’inqrt lay joro degif … the culture is not conducive to open discussion. Relationships hurt w/o discussion … gena sayjemir you wonder how bad the end’s gonna be. “If we break up and stop talking, who else will be made uncomfortable?”
So, if you’re a man you look, look, look with abesha pple and eventually you say to yourself, ‘it’s culturally accepted if i grab me some chick from home. I can support her…. well, i’ll grab me some chick from home’. So you grab you some chick from home.
If you’r female you look, look, look with abesha pple and eventually give it a try with a ferenj … and people are people. Love is love. If you take a chance, you’ll find somebody wonderful in shades of black, yellow, white, blue or purple. (random note: find purple b/f!)
In the past decade i’ve dated 1 habesha guy … at the beginning of the decade. Bebekule habesha men still terrify me. Y’all better be scared of me, too
And now i’ve to close my browser and work late to make up for all the time i wasted this week on bernos and buchla. Thanks Yemi/Nolawi.
Tobian — great point…. esum neGer ale ….!
Nolawi … ewnetihin new, you bring forth betam tiru hasab!! but most of us ladies on this blog just kept hating on the difficult quirks of abesha men without anwering ur pressing question…min inarg! bizu pent up frustration new…
LeNegeru…
Mother: Inat is the beholder of culture.
She is usually the one who nurtures a child and holds the capacity to raise him/her closely in touch with abesha culture.
I have a relative: a man who married a white woman. It turns out that her interest in abesha culture was not so great that she was willing to travel to ethiopia somewhat frequently and assertively + actively educate herself about ethiopian culture beyond the basics. And since he is away at work a lot, the kid is not even learning english, let alone an ethiopian language.
Unless the woman is really interested in her husband’s culture, and the father and mother are proactive about educating their child about both cultures, it is easier for an abesha-set/otherculture wond to pass on the abesha culture than the reverse. This is purely speaking from the prespective of: time spent with child-per-day. How many abesha wendoch spend lots of hours with their toddler/elementry school kid (After middleschool the kids are on their own anyways).
So if we are strictly talking about keeping our heritage alive and if truly a majority of ethio women look to other races for hubbys while abesha guys go home to find a wifey, we don’t have a lot to worry about in terms of our heritage.
Tobian,
Well thank you so much… my god… we are wonderful amazing.. great and as good as an group of men in the world…
tobian demo
I have been reading again and again to try to figure out what you mean…
sineshenabachew like peeing on them… or is it something else…
I have seen many broken relationships within the ethiopian community and usually it ends well and the ex’s are friends…
lets concentrate on the positives esti..
lol nolawi
… sinesabachew 1 ‘h’ awta
There are more than enough abesha single men and women out there.
Why worry about the ones who are happy?
Mamituye – it is not only abesha men that are importing.
I went to this small island last month where all the guys swear by Ethiopian women. Three that stopped me are married or been married to abeshas and one on his way to bring one..and believe it or not their complaint about their women is the same as our own brothers here.
Yemi,
I think you have inspired me to explore and look outside habesha culture… love is love..
I have been dating a habesha man for over over two years and talk is getting serious about marriage, moving together, minamin…and I feel thatI am staying not cause I am madly in love with him but because I thought it’d be better to stick with my own. Having left the country as an infant, I feel connected knowing that my partner is from the same culture as mine.
However, some of his attitude annoy the hell out of me. For example, he mentions the idea that the clock will tick for a habesha woman but habesha men can get a woman at any age- if not here then back home. As I approach my late twenties, I think will a habesha man want me if I am not married when I am in my 30’s? Does he think that I cannot have a meaningul life without a big habesha wedding and being a token wife. Do we settle in Marriage or do we wait for the one we truly love.
Most importantly being with him means that I could be losing an opportunity, missed connection with someone else who might not necessarily be of the same culture..
So my point is… we abesha setoch give habesha men (here in North America a try )but remain unsatisfied.
Solution: Try importing a husband from Ethiopia or on a more realistic option date outside your race!
P.S I am too lazy to correct any typos
Nolawi
I really enjoyed the blog.
BTW : how do I contribute article to bernos
Curios, you’re truly curios! I know what you mean, but it sometimes goes both ways. You can be dating an American and not have that one ingredient that completes the sauce. I have found myself opposite of you, where things were heading for the serious road with an American and I wanted a break to make sure we were making the right decision and that break served me well because I met the most wonderful Ethiopian and we have so much in common but enough differences to keep us afloat. So it’s hard to judge and say it only applies to one side. Yemi was very fortunate to find her ‘nero guadenga’ in an American but it doesn’t mean it will work equally for you so make sure whatever decision you make, you make it to your best interest because there is no walking back to what was. Ethiopian men are too proud to be dumped and then taken back. Too damn proud that’s what makes them somewhat unattractive. Otherwise well you feel in the blank.
Chuche, email us for details, contribution is generally by invitation only…. Curious, thank you for sharing the dilema
if he thinks that he is stupid… not all men ethio men think like that
ere bakish, being in any faithful relationship … you could have had a missed connection….if you don't love him by now… do him a favor and break up with
we are generalizing here, … the same could be said vice versa…
curiosity killed
i am proud of this fact, too many times woman say they are confused, confused, they want space and then they want you back… fack that… i second this man…
Thanks for the advice..
Nolawi, I know it’s vice versa.. I wanted to make the point that habesha setoch do give habesha men a chance..
Yet, they should not be taken for granted and if we are unsatisfied or made to feel unwanted, we can find a match somewhere else… and I encourage us to explore different avenues.
Same goes for the men but this discussion is focused on the women.
Curiosity killed- Thanks for the advice- I am glad you found your nero guadegna..and I’ll try to get out of this one without bruising the ego. I also need prayer!
nothing but bull-crap again! jeee. I have yet to find abesha setoch or abehsha wondoch who would just stand firm on their two feet on the ground and claim what’s theirs. Most habesha men/women now a dayz are too chicken shit that they can’t even admit what really makes them happy. They just like to front, talk a lot of crap and bullshit. Whatever happened to the good-ol-days when people at least make an effort, with a lot of “meshkormem”, to approach a girl/guy and tell them they’re feeling them? may be we’re a little too modest than we should be. But nothing is real any more, just a lot of frontin’.
I started to read this blog because of the name “Buchela” that is my son’s nickname as well. My daughter’s was Demete. Your Buchela is very cute I must say and you have a very interesting and funny blog. I enjoyed watching all your interesting picture. Looking forward to Buchela’s new pictures!!!!!!!!!!
Curiosity-KT-Cat and Nol,
I don’t c what’s there to be proud about, when u r giving up on what u want just for the sake of your ego. It looks abesha guys and ego go hand in hand. May not include all abesha guys but, many have this image they want to portray…and instead of the ‘real’ them, it’s often what they want to ‘be seen or known as’. If you loved the girl last week, don’t tell me you don’t feel anything for her this week…either u lied last week…or u r lying now.If u say u still love her but her inconsistency make u doubt that she is the one for you…that’s at least honest. Also,Most don’t want to be taken back not because they don’t want to(God knows half his cheguara is gone be-irrir, Kitill, deben when he sees her next to another guy)..but because of what their friends will say.
How about being yourself?
While enjoying a night out with friends last night, one of my friends pointed at one of the abesha guys and said ‘look at the way he dances, walks, and looks around…’, then said ‘and now look at his face…however tough and kostara he acts, when u look at the face, you see gentler, more innocent look’…and true enough, if one was to match the face with the act…minim abro ayhedim. You know what I mean? Actu minamin, ‘He is It!’ neger neww, but when u see the face, u tend to go ‘iwey yene konjo[gunchun behulet ijj yaz adrgo]sitamirr..imuaaa!’
Nol, ok u may be right that some abesha setoch ‘am confused’ yabezalu..but who in their right mind would say that if the abesha wondoch knew what they want and clearly communicate it?
If u r an abesha wend who claim to want an independent abesha set, and are in a relationship with such, then when she asked if you want to go to an event minamin/or travel somewhere, and you didn’t want to go….then she goes by herself and comes back happy….lemin tinadedaleh? I thought u wanted an independent abesha set! And then ofcourse there is the even more confused abesha guy…who wants an educated and smart abesha set who cooks, cleans and does everything for him like his grandma was to his grangpa. Didn’t he know his grandpa did all the work outside for his grandma to be a F/T housewife?…and that his grandma had no other job?…
Though I’m not one for going outside my culture, Yemi and others who are happy…good for you! Ofcourse the happiness didn’t come from marrying non abesha….but from choosing the right person.
Wudiye, you came out strong this time and I must say, well said. The grandma and grandpa story, very well put. You’re kinda deep sometimes you know that?
Nolawi;
I spent reading your Blog my entire lunch brake and I picked soup from a downstairs.. now catching up on work now. I will come back and comment… Keep up and thank for sharing.
Reading Buchela, it is very unsual to share personal detail including photos in our community. I wondered if their relationship would thrive if they were living in a community where there are a lot abseha’s? Isolation sometime is a virtue to nurture a relationship; very few distractions.
[quote comment="12915"]
If u r an abesha wend who claim to want an independent abesha set, and are in a relationship with such…..[/quote]
I had conversation in past that Abesha wendoche do not like an independent woman; I asked how one defines an independent women? The explanation I got was very wide; I wonder your definition of independent??
[quote comment="12915"]wudnesh; If you loved the girl last week, don’t tell me you don’t feel anything for her this week…either u lied last week…or u r lying now. If u say u still love her but her inconsistency make u doubt that she is the one for you…that’s at least honest. [/quote]
Wudnesh; I could not agree more… do not you think it applies the same way to women?? You can not shut feeling like a faucet.
[quote comment="13089"]Nolawi;
I spent reading your Blog my entire lunch brake and I picked soup from a downstairs.. now catching up on work now. I will come back and comment… Keep up and thank for sharing.
[/quote]
not my blog… lots of people contribute… bernos blog malete yehonal..
but thanks… comeback
Buchela’s Yemi has a new site!!!
For Bikes Sake
I’m loving it so far! wanna wanna wanna contribute actually!
props buche’s momma yemi!
how do you know its yemis site??
it’s yemi’s …. she’s got a post up on buchela’s site about it! and I should know…since…yemi’s accepted a submission of mine!! yippeee
what do u guys think about the idea of the bike site? topic too narrow? yemi was expressing concern over that in the beginning
I dont know which one to respond to. But, all is entertaining by far. especially grandpa/ma analogy. Good insight.
I wonder what would happen, if all these virtual faces were to be put into a Tea-buna discussion house at a beautiful beachhouse?
would this epedemic find a cure? i wonder! just wonder…! all these brainstroming. HOT & Cold .. just wonder ….
..if this misunderstanding will ever evaporate and bear a season of autumn type of fresh leaves’s where we can all be syncyed with our ideal other half… be happy everafter ..and bury this madness in a purposeful way …
as a peopel from that dark continent, We are falling behind in everything if we seriously think about it. Our individual success determines our collective success. That is not a good sign what we have at hand.
Abesha Wonde & Abesha Seyet have so many untapped QUALITies, but, the biggest problem is that:
All of a sudden, the West empowers us with something our individual’s lot canNot handle. And in the process, Progressively:
-Our Heart the lover,
-Our mind the thinker,
-Our conscious the regulator
all in oneness have been engulfed in Silliness, Retraction & detraction.
So, why so much animosity & misunderstanding between Abesha men & women? Who is to blame? Who is at fault? So, who will correct it?
Only, individuals those who wisely awaken their conscious. The key is in us.
Otherwise, who eventually wins in this Power & Authority fight that has made our life –A collateral damage- in our pursuit of love affair!? No one! we all lose, regardless.
but, I am an optimist, and Maybe only those who take the key elements seriously into consideration that heavily mold, and shape each one of us, i.e.
-OUR individuals’ upbringing background-
-Our life’s path experience-
-Our life’s path exposure-
will help us navigate this troubling water that we are all sailing.
Keeping those in mind, if we just wisely open up the 1st platform w/o no string attached just -know me, know you, show me quality, let me show you mine-
And the REST is History!-
if one doesnt see that one expects, then .. Becheretaw Gideta yelem..
.Anchim Arada enem Arada men y’atalanal Besew Berenda .. new…hiwot.
-Until next time – Eskeziyaw!
[quote comment="23805"]it’s yemi’s …. she’s got a post up on buchela’s site about it! and I should know…since…yemi’s accepted a submission of mine!! yippeee
what do u guys think about the idea of the bike site? topic too narrow? yemi was expressing concern over that in the beginning[/quote]
a bike blog has a wider audience than an ethiopian audience…
not even comparable.. the number of ethiopians with access to the computer.. compared to one western countries computer user… now multiply that with every English speaking country.. believe me..on this…
is yemi back from ethiopia? haven’t been to buchela in weeks
very interesting! makes sense thou…
yap! yemi’s been back…and buchu has been DikDiking all over the apartment…! he’s such a cutie
A bike blog may have a wider potential audience but not many people will be interested in bicycles on that level. In any case… it should be fun:)
[quote comment="12470"]We went on a few days long trip to Sodo (Gurage region). We spent the night in a hut full of friendly fleas.
He didn’t complain. We helped make kocho in a hut so full with smoke our stinging eyes watered. He was fascinated. We went to the river to collect water. It was brown. We needed to pour the water from one container to another as the dirt settled at the bottom making the top soil free enough to cook with.
He helped. He needed to use the toilet. He was told to go among the inset plants. He did, without a comment.
Except for two meals, we ate kocho and ayeb. We hiked. We boiled pasta with the brown water we collected from the river. We went to a tiny dilapidated church atop of a small hill at six in the morning on a Sunday. We drank Arake, we sang, and danced with the people.
He told me later, this trip was the highlight of his stay in Ethiopia.
We got married.[/quote]
How many habesha men ( so called Ye Ketema Lijoch) can go through an experience like this with the woman they love. This guy is more habesha than most Et men I know.