I am not an expert, however, I’ve learned a few things over the years. Sure, it might seem like I am a talker and not an observer but I do listen. A rough guesstimation assures me that about a quarter of my conversations are about dating.
This is a topic everyone seems to be interested in. Even family members are asking questions, Meche nuew YeMe’tagebaw? (?? ?? ???????) Maybe two years after I meet her! How can I ask her to marry me before I meet her? Esti tinesh common sense people! I am not David Blaine.
Male friends that are single complain about the etrete (????) of female companions or about how the ones available are Guregna? The more sophisticated say that the ladies are stuck up. Some that are in relationships complain about how they are being treated or the girls they missed opportunities with. I guess some girls do not shop in the single men aisle!
Female friends complain about the lack of eligible bachelors around. Hmm, they say that straight to my face. I didn’t know that I was ineligible. Anyhow, have you been to the club lately? Haven’t you seen the number of guys standing 3 feet in front of the bar with their Heinekens. Beself eyetebeqush nuew (???? ?????? ??)
In the name of this article, in order to help my brothers and sisters, I started doing research. What’s really going on? And I think I have narrowed the answer to the question mentioned in the title.
First thing first, I have to do my own real life test. At a local Ethiopian restaurant I frequent, I saw a girl that has I’ve had my eye on & pretty sure vice versa. Sorry tinish guregna negn. I thought since I was somewhat sure, my chances were over 50%. Take a shot Nolawi! What’s the worst that could happen?
The only problem was that since I barely knew her, I didn’t know how she liked to be asked? Begu’arow woyes Befit’lefit! I called her over and asked her to tell me how she liked to be asked out? She smiled and told me that she like straight shooters.
So I shot and missed. Thus, REAL LIFE EXPERIEMENT ONE brought one question to and end. Either my radars need to get repaired or that’s not how you ask Ethiopian girls?
To quote myself, I once wrote:
Chigru eko wonde tef’To say’Hone Eshi Yemetil Set Tef’Ta nuew (??? ?? ??? ??? ???? ?? ???? ?? ??? ??)
You see in Ethiopia, there is such a thing called megderder (??????). I doubt if they even have a word in English for it. All this time I thought it applied only to Injera, but it applies in everything. It is rude to say ‘YES’ the first time; in Ethiopia that is.
The Answer
Depending on the size of your ego; you have to ask her again and again till your jaw drops and she says ‘YES’ OR never ever give her a chance to say ‘NO.’ Meaning, do not ever ever ask her out directly.
Avoid a question the can be answered with a ‘NO’ as a negative! There are several ways to approach without bruising your ego. Ask her if she busy Friday night. She will most likely say ‘NO’ as she is prone to do and that she would most likely want to hear what you have in mind before she turns you down as she is prone to do. If she says ‘YES’ she is busy; you still have Saturday and Sunday. If she is busy the whole weekend she might actually be busy, so ask her again next week. I am open to hear some other ideas from the Don Juan Abebes.
Published by July 19th, 2006 in Dating, Noteworthy and Social.Send this post to a friend
So I happen to dislike these S/He Says musings, but Im little beat.
From where Im looking it seems to me:
a) If you don’t have a reason to ask a girl out, then don’t ask. (and by ‘reason’, She’s single. Im single. We mingle! does NOT constitute of a reason) Why, of the sea of men out there, should she go on a date with you? If you dont know, chances are she doesnt either. (Unless youre Taye Diggs)
b) ‘It’s just one date!” is also not an excuse. True, its just one date, but also true that there are also 3 billion of you men in this earth, which is why (a) is really important. Unless the girl’s some bozene or yeketemaw sirafet. Or desperate. If any of those qualities rock yer boat … ah, well, good luck.
Mts.
c) If you expect to meet a girl at a bar, what can i say there doesn’t seem to be a gentle way of putting it you’re, um, delusional. Chances of you starting a relationship in a bar are as high as a pink carnation escaping a stampede unscathed. Maybe its just me, but I can’t take a guy in a dimly lighted room with a bottle of beer at hand a seriously. People at bars say dumb shit. Behave like dumb shit. Well, theyre drinking dumb shit.
Seriously! I don’t take myself seriously in that situation. Anybody who takes me seriously cannot be taken seriously. Yawm meTeT iyelega! Sheesh.
Besides, according to one of those studies, the top three places to meet partners for marriage in America are college, church and the work place.
So forget the socialize at the bar myth. Grab your beer, lay back and enjoy the friends you came in with. If a one night stand follows you on your way out, good for you. If it ends up being a two-week stand, better for you. But trust me; chances are that youll be back and scavenging at the bar by the 3rd week.
Beterefe, barun leqeq. TimTamun Tebeq. Besira menTeq. Debter medefeq!
d) When a girl says no, be cool. For heavens sake, be cool. If youve to study comebacks the way you studied pick-up lines when you were 17, then do it. Practice in front of the mirror. Search the internet. Whatever it takes. Just stay fucking cool. (hmm thatll make you stand out, coz god knows almost all men need help in this department).
e) When a girl refuses to date you, if possible, keep her around as a friend. Women have a lot of women friends. And whats the best way to meet female companions? Through female friends! Plus, such, um, evolved behavior will win you some good recommendations.
f) Sometimes women just don’t want date. Yup. It’s possible. it’s not gurra it’s not megderder. Its not coz they like watching men squirm. Sometimes a girl just gotta say iffffffoy beqa!
Dating is emotionally exhausting. Dating takes time. Dating is hard to get out of, so sometimes not getting into it seems very appealing. So sometimes when a woman says she’s taking a break, believe her. If you convince her otherwise, you will be very sorry by the time you two are done. And it will be your fault. (well, it’s always the men’s fault anyway… but that’s another story
)
g) Pretty much all these points can be reversed and apply to women.
Hmm. Thats all I can think of right now.
Finally, I suggest you take what I say with a grain (or more like spoon) of salt since Ive been a happy follower of point (f) for quite a while.
See ya at the bars.
Dont hate!
btw, nolawi, the ‘you’ in my previous post is referring to men in general. not you, in particular
the american formula doesn’t work on ethiopian women, unless they’re on myspace.
Why do we always assume that the girl is not interested in the guy? Or that its th guys lucky day if the girl agrees to a date. Tobian as you said, Why, of the sea of men out there, should she go on a date with you? But why isnt it the other way? Why, of the sea of women out there, should he ask you on a date? Women, particularly Ethiopian women, need to realize that they are fortunate to be even asked out on a date. And also give credit to the man who works up the nerve to ask them out. Im sympathetic to my many male friends who put themselves out there and are rejected by stuck up bimbos. There are a lot of great guys out there, but women spend their time on the flashy no good players missing the average Joe who can be a great boyfriend.
Im tired of this bullshit notion that the guy has to impress the girl to get her attention. F**k that!!! Let her impress you for a change. And here is a tip guysstop going after girls just because theyre cute. The average ET woman is cute and gets a lot of play thats why shes stuck up. So find something other than her looks to get you interested. Then just drop the bomb Hey, wanna hang out this weekend? Because let me tell you a girl knows within 30 seconds of meeting you whether shes interested or not. So if she is shell say yes, if not then forget her. Why would you want a girl thats not interested in you? The problem is also you live in DC where its saturated by Ethiopians. So the girls are more worried about reputation than anything else. So when you ask her out ask her to something other than dinner and a moviesomething light and interesting. And dont put pressure on the date. Believe it or not girls dont like it when a guy is pressed. Just chill, go with the flow, and be very laid-back.
Dear Tobian,
Which college do you go to?
Which church do you attend?
Where do you work at? Why dwell on point “f”? and you said it has been a while … dinq new.
Nolawi,
I like your argument, but didn’t stick to prove it? Is the question about ‘how to’ rather than ‘what to do and not to do’? I like the ‘open ended question’ since it might entail a lenghty discussion. Befriending the female companion is the best route, I believe. ’cause in reality, they wouldn’t give the dude the time or the day; and to her support, why should she? Tradition is in conflict with the day and time of the country we live in. So juggling both could be cumbersome; and to be honest they would rather bite on their nails than being asked out.
The bar scene in the Ethio crowd is played out, dudes is slobbering over themselves, can’t handle their liquor and overexposing their emotions while the women are flirting with disaster and trying to chop up the incoming attention. Schools, Churches, and the work place are well and cool; but most folks don’t attend church or are done with school, which leaves the ‘work’ situation open. But how often do you run into other Ethios in your professional job?
Best answer, as suggested by many is to mingle friendship first and see if it takes you places. After all, great friendship is a spice that kinders wonderful relationship in the future…cross fingers.
My 2 Cents.
I dont think the friendship route is the best. You dont want to be cught in the freindship zone. Ever watch seinfield.
yene hulet santeem
Tobian, I like what you stated on cthey say dumb s***, behave like dumb s***,(because) they are drinking dumb s*** ahahahahahahthat is classic! I love it!
How about this for a dumb s****? Hey baby! Whats your sign? Ahahahah
On a serious note, guys, dont exert so much energy trying to untangle one of the mysteries of this universe.
One of the biggest problems that modern man (used as in biblical days) has is that, we think we need to understand everything that revolves around us! I think that is a very misguided thought process.
as far as I am concerened, you dont need to take a break from the dating scene, because it is not wrestling you dont need to ask why shouldnt gals go after guys?, because it is not pancake and does not need to be flipped over you dont need to come up with the perfect formula because it is not medicine
Go out and have funreject and be rejected!!! Even animals do itHave you seen goats mate? The he-goat goes to the she-goat and asks her for something, somethingshe hardly goes on her knees right awayshe walks away from him like he does not existshe even pees in front of him to drive him wildshe ignores him so much, he gets driven into insanityhe starts a head-butt match with another he-goat, so she notices that he is stronger than his opponent
My point being, dont waste your time! Enjoy your youthgo pee on him, and let him flip his lips overleave the formula to those boring philosophers and physiologist that think they know everything about life! Time is precious
This thing did not start now, and did not start with Ethio girlsEven the jungle men in New Guinea say doc dac nic nek bug bug ben meaning, what should I do to make my moveahahaha just kidding, I dont speak Junglian
A bottle of Heinken at the bar- $4.99
Nicely pressed denim so you can impress your lady – $29.99
Being told hid wedeza chemlaka! by an ehtio beauty queen Priceless
There are some things that Birr cant buy. But for everything else, there is MasterCard.
Enjoy life my beautiful people!…As the great philosopher Mamo Kilo once said, REEEJECT and BE REEEJECTED!
Mamo Kilo (a/k/a Ye Shimbra Assa, a/k/a Kirare, a/k/a Berchuma, a/k/a well will leave the rest alone)
I know I am setting myself up by using such moniker, but what the hell, bring it onMamo was my HERO!
PS. Bernos, thanks for creating this site. I find it to be entertaining, and informative. Please, please, do not let that political crap seep into your site we are tired of it! If politics were our solution, we would have been the richest nation on earth, because we are becoming politicians EGZIABEHAIR YESTILIGN!
One thing I can’t stand is a person who is guregan and gederder…. Unfortunately that is big thing in Ethiopian community. I have seen lots of my friends shy away from a guy who they really like because he didnt ask them out. I understand some guys are shy and they don’t like to ask a lady out unless they see some kind of signal that the lady likes them. In another word they don’t like to take a chance i guess Ethiopian guys don’t know what taking chance means. Oh well that is why most of the guys miss out on the girl that they like because they assume that if they ask they might get rejected. Although it is not something that Ethiopian girls do, but if i really like a guy and he doesn’t ask me out after a couple of weeks i will ask him out. That is just me i don’t like waiting around and playing game.
Well I know that I am going to make some readers a bit mad but why do you think a lot of Habesha guys are married to non-Habesha women? This world is full of women that are beautiful, witty, funny and intelligent. And guess what? A lot of them are non-Habesha. And these women will give you a chance.
A non-habesha women does not need to know which part of Ethiopia your family comes from, where you work, what kind of car you drive, how far up you got in school, your social number, your credit report to consider you for one date. These women are a lot easier to talk to; they keep an open mind and dont have a negative demeanor. How many times have I seen a group of habesha girls giving the look of death to a guy getting close to their space? From my experience (not that I have a great deal of it) habesha girls have a hard shell you have to break before you can even see what the real person is like. Dont get me wrong I do love Habesha girls very much but white girls are so much easier. And for all of you saying this is all about sex, its not. Its about having to ask a girl out for some dinner and not feeling you are about to go to zemecha. No one is asking for your hand in marriage. Were just looking to enjoy each others companionship.
Nolawi,
It appears that you have touched a nerve with a lot of people with this subject. First of all, I don’t think the question should be, “How to ask an Ethiopian girl out?” I think it should be “How to ask any woman out and keep her long enough to establish a meaningful relationship?”
One thing we all need to realize is that an Ethiopian woman/girl is no different from any other. She wants romance, she wants attention and most of all she wants love and security. Women have a radar for these things. Therefore if you strike her as someone who is not able to meet any of the above needs she will put you aside and move on to the next suitor. The funny thing is though, most of the time women are too smart for their own good. They fall for the guys who have the game down packed but are unable to provide these things. You know what I am talking about, the “Don Juan’s”.
These guys have the unique ability to identify what makes a woman completely attracted to a guy at initial glance and they capitlize on it. They appear confident, well dressed and well spoken and somewhat aloof. That is all a trap. Once the woman enters the designated area, ‘BOOM’, game over. What makes this amusing again is the fact that these guys are able to duplicate this with most women, therefore they don’t settle for one. I am reminded of something Chris Rock said in one of his stand ups, “90% of the women want to f*** 10% of the guys.” So if you are in that priviledged 10% elite of alpha males, then you got it made. If not, you will have to search long and hard for the “right” woman. That may include looking outside of our little Ethiopian circle. I think more of us should give it a try. I don’t see anything wrong with it. It all comes down to survival of the fittest, if you know what I mean.
All in all though, I loved reading the article. It is a subject I have grappled with many times. One thing I have learned is that you have to be compatible with the woman you are dating to have any lasting relationship. The fact that she is Ethiopian is the least of your worries. You have to be able to talk to her, trust her, rely on her, confide in her, romance her, amuse her, protect her in order to keep her. Women are complicated creatures. They can change their minds at the drop of a hat and there is no justification required. That is not the world we, as men, live in. I could say a lot more on the subject, in fact may be I will soon, but for now, I want to thank you for broching the subject. Had fun reading it.
Big Ups
Dawit
here is a little algorithm you can apply:
-keep a circle of female friends with whom there is no sexual ambugity..
-strike hard and fast when they introduce you a girl they say you have a chance with(if you like her).
-Don’t brag about that in front of them-keep a low profile
To keep a circle of female friends, you must ENJOY their company.And That is the hard part for an ethiopian male -they don’t hang around with females.
ha ha dating an ethiopian female is like the corporate world… you need to network a bit to get the best job… i mean girl! … the female friends are like the HR
is that what u are saying zelabaju?
yeah, i guess it deserves the same preparation as looking for a job… your image is accurate.
I dothink so Ethiopian man have good tertment for women and get good chance to ask her permition
I rember one day i meet ethiopin guy with out nuting asked me to date him at first time, how come i told him ant ymman far nhe aleket because you do not know about me at first time to ask me like that
what do you think about this?
get hooked on phonics
Mae,
please refer to point (g). I didn’t make a gender distinction. I was writing in response to nolawi’s post, so the second person happened to be directed to men. Ergo the amendment in (g).
Also, Im not sure were on the same page. I was pointing out that if you walk up to some random person and ask them out, don’t be so surprised if they fail to reciprocate your interest. In fact, be surprised if they respond favorably. Because, male or female, they don’t know you as much as you don’t know them. My take is, don’t ask a person out if you don’t know why you’re interested. (for example ’s/he looks good’, ’s/he happens to be standing in front of me’, ’s/he’s single, i’m single …’ etc, are exceptionally horrible ‘reasons’).
If you knock every door you happen pass by, you’ll have proportionally as many rejections. So either make the process selective, or like Mamo Kilo suggested, accept that you’ll be rejected and move on.
You said, “Because let me tell you a girl knows within 30 seconds of meeting you whether shes interested or not.” Do you truly believe this? So basically you’re saying that you’ll date a girl who judges you purely based on your appearances only? Doesn’t that bother you?
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Qededa,
Hahaha! very funny. Qededach’hu gin nice new. Beteley zinbochu.
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Mamo Kilo,
LOL. Wey nitirik! What can i say? Hid wediya – chemlaqa!
Gin, seriously, I hope it didn’t seem like i was writing rules. I don’t have rules (other than the fact that i’m off the meat market. Its not wrestling, you say? Are you kidding me? Surely, it is wrestling! Hypothetically and figuratively (Indae, what are you doing to the chiquita in the bedroom? Mts. And there I thought Mamo kilo was just a nick name
) They ‘points’ were more random observations on behaviors that tend to make dating harsher than it should be.
—————————–
Moki,
Interesting. I know of more habesha women whore married to non-Habesha men.
—————————–
Dawit ,
Ditto though and through.
—————————–
Zelabaju,
Haha! Exaclty! (not bad for a zelabaj
)
—————————–
Finally, I’ve to say I’m impressed everybody wrote s*** and f*** instead of the words themselves in their responses.
Cute.
*literally and figuratively, that is.
This is the problem with making fun of people.
Tobian, what are you so angry? Guregna temesiyalesh!
To all the single abesha guys out there:
First things first. You should place higher priority NOT on how to ask a woman out, but rather on how you carry yourself. If you feel there are opportunities for improvement there, please do work on them first. Then, the rest will be easier.
lol, guregna nesh! nani
pretty much all ofu guys said it all.
i cant believe u guys it is not that hard to get girls want guys wholl make time for them the guys that ask me out are all cocky and have respect for us thats all and 4 all the guys i turned down thats just how it goes lol
From my random observations, i can tell that most guys who are lucky on dating are those who are able to bullshit.i dont know how most people bear to talk nonsense in order to date ethiopian girls.because it is unthinkable to talk ideas and intelectually motivating thoughts with Ethiopian ladies. I mean, it demands a lot of energy and patience to lower your level of thinking in order to meet theirs. this i think is where we men failed.
kirubel: “it demands a lot of energy and patience to lower your level of thinking in order to meet [ethiopian girls']. this i think is where we men failed.”
kirubel honey, you get an A+ for bullshit. I guess (by your own definition) you must be very lucky in the ethiopian dating scene.
Tsi, you sound too serious… which by implication may prove the truthfulness of my hypothesis to some degree. (how could you possibly pick your poetic pen to only give answeres for some bulshit, yeah?) perhaps,as you suggested, i should give it a try.
any ways, you remind me something which i should have included before; surly, there is always an exception. As you definately are.
Hha ha ha I’m cracking up here,.. seriously though I keep one wanting to write more about dating ethiopian girls, gin i shut my mouth because I didnt want you guys to think I’m angry at woman… I am not… but I should be…
Hey I shoulda hadthese Cliff Notes before I gave up on my agere setoch.
On a serious note, I live in an apartment across from another Ethi who is in his early twenties. Every weekend he brings different women with him. He is no Taye Diggs either. The only explanation that my friends and I could come up with is that younger Ethi women don’t mind playing as opposed to Ethi women in their thirties. I guess the ticking of the clock makes them very weary of the dating scene and if they are asked out they want the guy to be a possible suitor.
I don’t care how many times I get rejected..nothing ventured nothing gained. In the meantime I will keep my blowup doll busy and grateful.
I think you guys are generalizing here. all habesha gals are not dumb as all habesha guys are not that smart either, its the trick fate plays on each other paring up the wrong couple all the time. You just got to keep trying with the famous grandmas slogan in mind (dist efyawn ayatam)be positive…
F.Y.I the best relationships I’ve had with Ethio Men are the one’s that started out as friends and many of you men have stated this. When an Ethio man and woman are friends he can relax and be himself without having to memorize a script because Hollywood is not calling. You know what I mean?
When I’ve been approached directly by an Ethio man for a date he is wayyyyy too busy trying to impress of who/what he is. Who cares! The bottom line is how comfortable are you in your own skin?
Please avoid the bar scene because when a woman meets you in that environment the first few things on her mind are: the next martini, what youre like in bed, and if you would make a good husband. This is even if she has no desire to sleep with you or marry you but shes having that martini. You get my drift? If youre her friend first all those thoughts come after the fact. There is nothing more that can make a man deliciously desirable than friendship
All my female friends Ethio and others say the SAME thing! A man who is confident is worth a million dollars. And always be the boss damit run the show dont let it run you! If a woman doesnt need a boss mate than shes independently happy and let her be. Be honest and upfront like a true friend and if she’s not interested it’s her loss. Next!
How betam interestingly smart comment… you make some good excellent points… abeshaset
Nolawi, Thanks for the positive comment I’m just telling it like it is.
Well, honesty is the best policy in the workplace, at home, and with friends so why can’t it work in romantic relationships? Aren’t we dishonest enough already without even speaking a word? Lets ses…the woman will put on the make up, the added hairpiece and the wonder bra (I don’t know why shes wondering if it aint there it aint there). The man will put on pimped out whatever and hopefully no make up or wonder anything. So why can’t the words that come out of our mouths be the balancing act?
Your Abesha sister
Abesha set, well said! most of the Abesha men that I have ever seen in a bar setting have been pretty lousy in holding their liqour and that is not too appealing, although, they seem to feel like they’re up for anything.But in a normal circumstance, in a normal converation between fairly sober Abesha man and woman, it’d be just fine if he skips the cocky pick up lines and be real. Have a real conversation…surely it’s not that hard to say hi and start a conversation. If she is not interested, there are more fish in the sea. Truth be told, it also helps if the women are not trying to stir up drama when rejecting and be a lil gracious and friendly about it. I second the friendship route..it almost always works.and one more thing, keep details of your relationship low key cos I find that most women always feel they’re being played when they hear about their relationship details from others.
Truly, it’s not that hard. All rules work for both men n’ women, just imagine how differently you would treat two girls where you chased after one and the other was chasing after you. Most often you ain’t as into the one chasing you, right?….ain’t that different for women either. Relationship is a 50-50 thing, she ain’t gonna be into you just cos you’re into her so if she ain’t into you , she just isn’t and better to find that out early than late.
lol some guys r really pathetic u guys r treating this like a flippin sport
You know dating is a funny thing. We play games to get one another, then we meet, fall in love (if lucky) then at some point break-up (if unlucky) and pretend like you never knew each other. Talk about a full circle.
Temelkach, I support keeping your relationships low key because some girls live for the drama of advertising who asked her out and your man’s name may pop up, on purpose. Right on with 50-50 thing, it is the name of the game, don’t sell yourself short.
I know guys have a lot on their shoulder of trying to impress us without having to deal with the drama momma syndrome. There is nothing like honesty and just in your face approach, leave the game playing for the bedroom. Forget about impressing him just be true to yourself he’ll love you for that.
You know there was an episode on “Sex in the city” where this guy was saying – guys are very direct and they go after what they really want, if he said he’ll call you tomorrow and he doesn’t “he’s just not that into you.” I loved it cause some of my single friends play that game of s/he said this but s/he didn’t do that and I just love saying “he’s just not that into you” or “she’s just not that into you” i’ts just fabulous and so true.
celebrate this is not going to work with abesha girls
Nolawi & zelabaju the flip side of your wonderfull ideas is that id the woman turns out to be disappointing after all that preparation,networking,interview and ….:)
Kirubel,
It is true that a guy who runs a good game gets the benefits. The thing about this benefit is a short term benefit and his game will run out eventually and he will have to look for a new field to run his game on ha-ha
Why are all my habesha brothas acting like a bunch of babies? If you’re feelin’ a particular girl, grow some balls and talk to her. What is the worst thing that can happen? If she says no, just keep it moving. Habesha women are a dime a dozen. We have some of the most beautiful women in the world.
Biig freakinnn deal
You ask her for her # you call her you see her maybe take her to a movie if she is really fine
and you bone her.
You niccas must be some off the boat habeshas to discuss this as a issue.
Wedi Bole, I take it you’re a rookie? Don’t get much game? Please try not to make it so obvious. Since you’re noticing the boat….everyone is cruising while you’re still trying to find the dock. Why aren’t you out boning someone instead of giving instruction on the how to, playa? Only whales bone, humans bump and grind…Play on playa.
very funny celebrate, indeed whales hump
daniel & wedibole,
Chill my ignorant brotha’s, this is what we call a discussion forum not a how to forum. The pourpose of these formus is to express ones idea freely and POLITELY
, and hopefully learn form one another. It is obvious that none ya are plays but wanna be playes 
.
When I was young I used to ask every girl I see the more the better like lotto if you don’t play you don’t win, so I play once in a while now but I don’t know how long i can take it before the girl say I give up, I mean it doesn’t take that long now a days to get approved for a credit card but Ethiopian chicks they like the government you have to go through all sectors. To the young and stupid who talk about hitting it and leaving it, keep doing that and you will get a girl who give you a kid and you be a baby dady, which I’m really proud of my Ethiopian brothers and my friends which came to these coutry as a young/boy/kid whatever, wrap it up, think about your future/~~~~aids~~~ and most importantly being true to yourself at the end of the the day you are you.
I don’t want to forget the ladies too.
THE WAY I THINK THE FEMALE WANT US TO DO WHAT THE AMERICAN WOMEN ARE GETTING SO IF WE DON’T WE OUT THE DOOR, HUH THE SLAVE MENTALITY DON’T RUN IN ETHIOPIA.
EX. ONE DAY I TALK TO THESE GIRLS AND TRY TO GET THEIR NUMBERS HOWEVER I DIDN’T GET IT ONE OF THE GIRL IS ETHIOPIAN I SEEN HER WITH OTHER ETHIOPIAN GIRL BUT SINCE SHES WITH A BLACK GIRL INSTEAD SAYING SOME NICE THING(NICE WAY OF REJECTING) THE ETHIOPIAN GIRL LOOK AT ME FROM HEAD TO TOE AND SAID PLEASE.~~~~~~~~~~~`THESE ETHIOPIAN GIRL IS SHARING A SLAVE MENTALITY I DON’T KNOW SHE IS LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME OR WITH HER BLACK FRIEND.
SO, THE MORAL OF THESE STORY IS, WOMEN DON’T RUN THE F** IN WORLD WE DO. THE MUSLIMS DON’T RESPECT WOMEN, BUT THE CASE ABOUT AMERICA IS THE LAW PROTECT THE WOMEN SO MUCH THAT THE MEN IS ALWAYS WRONG, PLUS THE FOOD GIVE YOU SO MUCH EVERGY YOU CAN F*** FIVE TIMES A DAY, THE BLACK PEOPLE WHO CARRY THOSE SLAVE MENTALITY WHICH WHITE PEOPLE PUT IN THEM IS PLAYING THE BEST OUT OF THE READ THE BOOK ABOUT CONTROLLING THE SLAVE FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS USING THE FEMALE TO BREED THEM AND SEX TO WEEKIN THEM SO SIMPLE, SO MY PEOPLE BE OUT THESE COUNTRY BEFORE THESE WHITE PEOPLE MAKE US SLAVE IN THE NEAR FUTURE UNLESS GOD TAKE US ALL AWAY IN THE NINTH.
SORRY ABOUT FOLLOWING THE ENGLISH LAW OF WRITING. FCUK
CHAW ABRAHAM THE CHOOSEN ONE TO HIS PEOPLE.
I LUV mah habesh sisters wiz passion…but they toooooooo much drama…to get with them, drama tooo break up, drama….I broke up with this sis 2 years ago and she still stalkn and honestly she aint the first one …man i’m done wiz drama …no more drama in mah life…like the song … so to all mah habesh sis out there…try to chill and cherish it when it comes to u and let it go if it’s over …PLEASE.
Interesting topic. Ethio ladies always like “megderder”
or playing hard to get, but once you win their heart they are as sweet as a GOJAM MAR. A friend told me once, the first time he asked out his current wife, she spitted at his face. I guess, her way of saying he was below her class. Hey, he did what is called “YANDE SAW DEJI TINAT KEBEZA LEFATU, BERU TEKEFTOLET AYKEREM MEGBATU” Sometimes, “hard to get” ladies are preferred, because they know how to “MEKOTEB” KEHULUM NEGER. Anyways, nothing comes easy in life. And getting to know Ethio lady is one of them. Keep the hope alive!
Fikus, well said. Inside those hard façade ET’s women may portrait, lays some of the most genuine souls on earth. Ethiopian women are not only beautiful they are fantastic. I should know, I married one.
After 10 uears and 3 kids later. I can only say that she is even more amazing now than ever.
Hip… Hip…Hurray… to… ET Women.
lol I’m loving this……..
To Abe, from a pizzd off Abesha set:
– To that I say to you: F** that!!
–To that I say…are u seriously calling blacks slaves? in your mind some mannerisms that are more common amongst african americans qualifiy as a “slave mentality”?? Again my question….WTF??
Please take sometime to rethink what you said…other than that — fikus&esat stay positive!
Ethiopian ladies ha?
I think our ladies are lovely. I think in most cases they go after what appears to be good for them. That is where the confusion starts(we often don’t care what they want, we are always focused on what we want(humans are selfish by nature)). If you can understand what a woman wants, my friend you can be the master of dating.
We Ethiopian guys mostly expect a postive or direct response right away. However that doesn’t work all the time with our ladies. They were raised to be clam and take things slowly…that is of course in most cases… When you ask her out, if you sounded like a playa, or some arrogant guy who doesn’t like to take shower, my friend you out of luck. So how do you ask her out?
First and for most, Get yourself together…You gor have some money and a place to live preferably a nice appt, a nice car if you can afford(if you take the bus just like me, it is going to very hard)…Dress nicely…(most habesha girls don’t just understand the guy who pulls his pants down)….
What I just mentioned above are some of the basic fundamental requirments if you want to find a woman that respects you and treats you the way u wanted to be treated…now having those things gives you some confidence…with that you should be able to approache any woman and ask her for a date nicely. Women often enjoy a decent, professional type of guy. We all know there some exceptions. There are some girls who like to sleep around so they tend to get more attracted to a crazy mother fucker type dude who doesn’t have a place to live…again that is what they want….so we can’t really judge them…
You have to remember though the most important thing in the proces which is: Regardless of what you read or hear..remember to be yourself at all time….my friend that is a power to you at the end of the day. In my opinion most people don’t get the type of dates they want because they were never themselves…some actually get the date but they lose the girl before they know it. So to summerize…:
Be yourself, make money(women love security),dress nicely, if you can go to school(if you are a drop out like me, just tell the truth..:) and be CONFIDENT!
BgFelasfit…you say it sista!
Abe, you need to take this thing called walking softly on some sticky subjects 101…slave mentality ain’t the right term for being dissed…Wechegud…Teyizo Yalaye, Gilegel AYawekem alu…what the heck do you know about Slavery that you’d compare a social issue to it…you need some reality check here…Plus I would like to inform you that Muslim MEN DO respect women as they are their mothers, sisters,wives and daughters…don’t feel the need to try to say ” smart” things when you sound too ignorant..and coming from a non-colonized nation is not an excuse for your ignorance…if you don’t know, read about it! don’t go poking in the dark and don’t make your hurt ego an excuse to sound so pitiful!
For conversations sake, here is the funniest pick up line ever…” you’re beautiful, I’m good-looking, it could work….now try imagining that being said by someone with a great buzz…..citation to ma boy in Tdot
Very entertaining post…a lot of good points.
From my understanding, we’re talking about how a good guy can ask out a good girl or vice versa and not writing a playbook for how to get laid…I will stick to the subject at hand.
That being said, seems that the formula, err tradition, the ethio girls follow is almost certainly going to lead to failure and pain. She will not say yes to a guy unless he persists, persists, persists. Almost to the point of, umm, a stalker. That’s right, if he’s following ur ass around everywhere, blowing ur phone up, coincidentally meeting u at different places, asking u out for 6 months straight…he’s a stalker. Sorry ladies, that’s not love. The ethio girl will undoubtedly miss out on many good guys because all the good guys I know (myself included) would not persist to that level for a mere chance of going out on a date which just might evolve into a relationship. The rewards outweigh the work that has to be put in. Sure, if there was a guarantee that she was the one, I’m sure we would all persist as long as necessary but unfortunately, there are no such guarantees in life. So now we can focus on the typical man who this ethio girl will end up with:
a. The man looking to conquer a new piece of ass. He will persist to the levels of outer galaxies just for the chance of hitting it. For him, the ends always justify the means. If it means he has to be friends for 3 years, no skin off his back. He is accustomed to playing the game so he will be better versed in it than most. If a guy knows all the right things to say, go figure that he’s probably had a lot of practice at it.
b. The man with no self-respect. He is willing to castrate himself to display his “love” and try to win a girl over. He will give rides, do countless favors, anything to get in her good graces for however long. He stalks to the point that the ethio girl eventually just gives in.
There are always exceptions and all my opinions are based on my experiences, my friends’ experiences or female friends who tell me how their heart was won over.
Just be easy.
how do i ask ethiopian girls for sex
from all thise essays katcha’s question wiegned in for me to reply .. so i say for my homie jus ask in tradtional ethiopian way which is “ye balege neger inarg ” trust me it worked several times for me .
On time, I fall in…with a single abesha girl. I sticked around for a month.I gave her ride every day. She almost made me her driver.
For 4 weeks: No tuching. No kissing.No interaction at all. I finally told her that I am in love with her. Guess what she said…”I am not inlove with u—ine gin alafedrkuhim” this hurts so much. as soon she said that something evaporates from my heart. I just hated her. Gays don’t let this happen to you. If you see a sihgn of megderder,don’t west your time go to the others where you can get fun and love.
[quote comment="21712"]“I am not inlove with u—ine gin alafedrkuhim” this hurts so much. as soon she said that something evaporates from my heart. I just hated her. Gays don’t let this happen to you. If you see a sihgn of megderder,don’t west your time go to the others where you can get fun and love.[/quote]
Buna, thank you for sharing that. Many of us have been there. The only thing is that all woman are not like that. There are a few woman that do not want to take advantage of men that they are not interested in. and a few more that will tell you how they honestly feel.
Anyways you got off easy. This lady was just not worth your time.
why do we bother about our ET ladies so much if they dont like to go out with?…better to go to any girl who is so open and yematgdereder whoever she is abesha or not-abesha.
Bal ka genehu betam ifelegalehu
dear ethioian girls, I hope to have good relationshiep
ene arabnenh ye etiopia dem amsa ke mato alebinh,
ewadachwalew zamed malet ke etiopia yelenhim enna zemad
felagi nenh.betam amasaginalew.
o.k …sorry just i want to say Hi friends, i do not came by chance to read all that written in this pages, i do my work through the net because last night , an eithio girl broke my hart,i met her in a coffe shop we talked , we hang together for 4 months , i know all her girls circle , and i thing i am so acceptable to them , because i have have been gentel and stright from the begining, .,. yes for friendsip, yes for love .no way for bed without love ,any how after all these hanging and discos and..and to the end…. i asked her seriously marriege , and she reply …..sorry i am not thinking like that!!! …so what are you thinking , and i put presure on on lady from her circle and to my ….surprise she have 5 others boy friends from 4 differnt nationalaties, and they bay her for bed
o.k the only good think i get out from that i learn part of the language and good learning about ethiopia as a countray , land and people and so many ..that all for the long hours i stay in the net to know my love land.
finallya friend tell me ( ok it is better for you than getting aids) take care all …chio
;jmnol;bnklnl/m
Banbona, I’m trying to sift through what you said, it sounds like you got your heart broken when you proposed marriage after FOUR MONTHS of dating, but then you felt good because you learned the language and didn’t catch AIDS. Please correct me if I’m wrong.
After reading all these posts, I’ve come to one conclusion and that’s that there is no conclusion to be reached. It’s funny, as an Ethipoian-American man I used to get mad and frustrated at dating and the anomaly of Ethiopian women. I must say that I love them and I hope and pray that I end up with one but I could never seem to unravel the mystery and intracacies of them. Now, as I’m reaching my late twenties the only thing I’ve come to understand is that there is nothing to unravel and no mystery to figure out. Also, it’s not just Ethiopian, Eritrean, African, or Aborigine, it’s just women in general.
Over the past few years my relationship have become more and more stable mainly because I don’t sweat the issue. I’ll talk to a girl and sometimes she’ll give me the time of day sometimes she doesn’t. From there she might give me her number she might not, from there she might answer her phone she might not….I guess the point of it is you just roll with the punches. Even if it reaches the point where you’re in a relationship, I have learned not to make some big declaration of having found my”true love” or “my life partner.” This is not to say that I act like a jerk or disrespect her in any way, I’m willing to do whatever she might want but not with any expectations. Sometimes I’ll call her sometimes I will not, sometimes I’ll give attention other times I won’t. The funny thing is sometimes this works and well you guessed sometimes it doesn’t but the whole point is I’ve experienced her and I’ve grown wiser because of it, and either she’s decided to move on or I have.
This, to me, has been the most rational and meaningful approach to relationships. You can’t have high and unrealistic expectations but you don’t want to be a cynic either.
Just roll with it because in the end what will be…..will be!!!
Betam Betam betam arifly put! ET Chller
hello it is me again , banbona, i lke what you wrote ET CHILLER i read it so many times,girls are girls they need attention and love, like men do, but they do not show that and i can say men are more in need because they want to see their mother , sister , friend and love in the same girl, ok if i get two from these four it is o.k, but still iam asking why ethio girls behaver is like this,you can open a shell but i realy thing it is diffcult to open an ethio girl heart, and if she accept you , and she start to come near still your inside telling you is that true!!!? they have charm (ethio g. )
they are senser , and some times i belive i may understand their signal in the wrong way , i never and will never go for one day, one time business because when you give yourself for some one , you give as all ,your mind your feelings your love your money , every thing ,every thing and the ather part have to do the same , am i wrong????
THIS FOR NOLAWI WHAT IS betam ..? still i am learning and need help
betam means very!
Tayity – do you really wanna get f…coz i got this felling when you say “Bal ka genehu betam ifelegalehu.”
ena demo “bidugn” new yalishiw?….how can we do that unless at least u out ur photo here.
C Y
I’ve been strictley dating American girls for the past 12 years. Unlike many of my habesha friends, I came here in my early teens and it came easier for me to get into the culture. But there comes a time in every habeshas life when you’re done experimenting and you’re ready to find that perfect habesha girl you can take home to mommy.. So, for the last 2 yrs, I’ve tightened up on my abesha game and I thought I’ve learned everything I needed to know but, it’s just been so hard.
When you’ve been dating Americans, it’s not easy to go back to habesha girls. So, many things you have to adopt to. One thing I’ve been strugling with is- most habesha girls dont like to excercise.. what’s up with that?
they only like to keep that face pretty and their hair curled up.
When we hit the beaches in Jamaica, you’ve got to look good in your two piece.. and feel comfortable too.
but, that’s just looks.
I dont want to sound to shallow but, I’m giving up soon. I’m about to go back to white girls! lol
I want beatiful ethiopan girl.
It is good thing to do.
habsha girls they are beauty & fine than all over the world. i am proud of them
habesha god bless u
reduka:- what about the fine ass sistas… u missing out broda.
[quote comment="34545"]I’ve been strictley dating American girls for the past 12 years. Unlike many of my habesha friends, I came here in my early teens and it came easier for me to get into the culture.
The exchange of comments are all great! I really feel both sides of the coin on this issue. As far as Reduka’s comments – I kinda agree that it is easier to date whites or other non-habeshas in some ways. Non-habeshas are SO free, open-minded, and they don’t play a gazillion games like habeshas. The biggest problem the habesha community faces is that there is so much ego and judgement especially put on women. I see so much “taboo” expressed in the community. Sometimes I wonder if it’s all worth it. For a while I said “I’m not dating another habesha again”…but now I don’t want to make this a race or culture thing anymore. I had “color-coded” the guys that I dated in the past. I’m done with that phase, I wanna date whoever the hell pleases me! If I like you, I like you…and true love is blind. You have no control of who you’ll end up with. Yes, ideally in the perfect world I would like to end up with my Ethiopian prince – but if that doesn’t happen I can be happy with anyone else! God is the only one who holds that answer for all of us.
And yes – it is hard to meet people after college or work. In my college, there were only like 3 habeshas there. And if you want to meet habeshas, it’s almost impossible even in the DC area. There should be a DC professional ethiopian networking society created (if not already done)! Anyone know of one??
Just a thought…
wow hiwi.. I think its time for something like that as well!
I think it’s way over due, especially for the DC area -considering how many habeshas there are here. It could be a great resource for business networking and/or just for making new friends, etc… I’m sure young ET professionals would appreciate this. I’m down for starting such a thing. Anybody else have any thoughts, questions…? Anybody else in?
Well, I have heard of a few people that are thinking of starting something like that as well… I am down for it…
can we discuss over email… mine is nolawi.petros @ gmail.com
email me
Thanks
sure…
You know there was something that had started up sometime last year. I attended a couple of them but was quickly disappointed since it was more or less the same people that went to the clubs. Even then, everyone seemed to stick to the groups/clicks that they already knew or were a part of. People were not so eager to meet new people, either for professional or personal relationships. After several attendances and trying to get to know the new people I pretty much gave up and haven’t been there since late last year. If you’re interested though, they usually meet up at either Jin or Duke City in D.C. If there are any others anyone might know of please let me know, thanks.
ET Chiller – I feel you about the “clicks”. Those clicks or clicks in general can be annoying! Thanks for the info…
ET CHiller send me your email as well man,… maybe you can help us organize an event here in DC
how about ethio speed dating?
Salsawit what an interesting name. I know of three sisters their name is 1st, 2nd, 3rd in Geez
Hey,
I live in london. and my boyfirend moved to states a few
months ago. and he kinda of changed in so many ways…
we had plans to live together in the future…but that future is fading away on my side. I know it will probably take me another two years to get abesha guy. I can get white or black guy easily.
I just don’t get it! why is it so difficlut to get abesha men?
I welcome any comment.
Peace
Rebecca, well first thing first… we are expats.. meaning there are a few of us, both men and woman… secondly they are around its just that woman have a tendency to be harsher on abesha males..
engdeh that is my thoughts … what do you guys think?
My dear I think we Ethio women have come a long way from the days of “megderder” and bringing our entourage of friends and ‘cuzs’ when asked on a date minamin… I mean come on now, this one time I was in a party in D.C. (if I recall correctly the name of the club was Diversity) where a gal was humping herself via the mirror against the club wall so don’t tell me we haven’t wedefit meramed from the shyness of our culture LOL.
Now seriously, I think many can agree that our women are bolder than they used to be and perhaps at times bordering to what would make our Oldies say “AbeSkuGeberKu yeman Ayn Awta Nat”… granted there are some who like to pull on our ethio bros nut for a sport by playing hard to get minamin…but I think their number has lessened drastically, me thinks.
Nolawi, I think it is rather the later, i.e. that you need to get your radar repaired:) I mean why, not only assume but also conclude that your “real life experience” has thought you to never be upfront with ethio girls because of this incident? Could it not be that she wasn’t interested? Or perhaps she is already involved? Or did your Kilimanjaro sized ego:) blurred your vision enough for you to assume that she was into you as you were into her? You might have simply read her wrong…you took a chance, didn’t bring no fruit… so you move on to the next prey. That is it. I don’t know if your bruised ego allowed you enough to ask her why she said no or not but perhaps you might have learned that she has a valid reason for her “rejection” as you put it.
I always find it amusing that our brothers don’t take refusal very easily… they rather think she is either stuck up bitch or megderdering than to at least for a moment entertain the idea perhaps the gal is not in to him. I’ve been told “why you fron’tin girl” front tirsun yawlekewina! Just cuz I ain’t down with his style and them pantz that is mopin the floor…not to mention his tendency to want to mount my arse on the dance floor, mind you UNINVITED (hey fool step away from them arse ya hear!) so don’t be telling me I am a bitch or am frontin or I am stuck up! Shiat get your game together boo. Gud eko newe bakachu:) BTW that is the English version of megderder = Frontin:)
Anyhow here are few pointers for my fellow habesha brothers, when you approach your sister don’t approach her with them lame ass over used & abused lines of “don’t I know you from somewhere”, “haven’t we met before” and all them worse pick up lines like “your eyes are so blue and so clear I can see your heart beat through them” ( well I made that up, so!)… Just approach her as she was the object of your interest and give her the benefit of the doubt that she can handle it as opposed to patronizing her intelligence with such silly games of cat and mouse. Put not your “playa” face but that of a gentleman. Be as SINCERE (not to be mistaken for lame ass pick up line) in your conversation and take it like a man when your quest is declined.
so true, so true, so true my god this is so true.
i’m loving your comments.
oh my god i’m gonna die laughing on this one. I read your comment twice out of fear i missed a joke or two. You’re funny.
if this article wasn’t a year old I would respond… yekeydama…. what you said was interestingly funny in a somewhat valid way… but its just the obvious eko…
I agree, Yekey dama is really funny and makes a lot of sense. Nol yemimelsew aTa.
Yeqey dama, I think you need to join the press. There are a lot of spoiled boys who need to learn these things.
Yekeydama……oof des yemtiyi! I’d normally say to other bloggers, ‘come join the press- you are made for it’ (as in u perfectly fit..)but in your case, the press is made for you !! ney ney….we need you there! sign up to join the press.
[quote comment="51207"]if this article wasn’t a year old I would respond… yekeydama…. what you said was interestingly funny in a somewhat valid way… but its just the obvious eko…[/quote]
Noli, as long as my response got a smile (however crooked:P) out of you then it has served its purpose thus I sleep better at night. Degmo yemin Obvious Shmovious newe, I am putting my Dollar worth so tega bel! Besides if it was that obvious meche artiKlu kegemeru yasfeleg neber, wegena:)
Seriously though I wasn’t aware the age of the article. I found it on top, it attracted moi hence…
SanQ to those who were somewhat entertained by my response. Dinich & Wudnesh, yehe Press yemitelut seweye yemikefel tehone emetalehu, aleziya teyeh neknek alelem:)
C’mon, yeqey dama. I know you want to join the press. don’t be frontin’ now.
ahahahah Dinich I can just hear YekeyDama thinking/saying “front tirsehen yawlekewina!” ahhahahah
yekeydama f***!!!
how lovely even thinkin about womens
Man sorry to break it to all the habesha brothers but the secret about your women is out.
Please don’t hate on this Black man when I’m trying to pull your dimes. Not all of us are the bad guys the world portrays us as all the time. Thank you
LA! You Cornell West? or his son?
I dont hate on brothers, and neither does the world btw. The world can’t get enough of the brotha love. The hate is more close to home than you think.
“The hate is more close to home than you think”
I can agree with line. Many black americans are filled with self-hatred. Slavery’s affects are still be seen within my people to this day.
I’m sure you personally don’t hate on black men. I’ve just heard too many stories of BM trying to date habesha women only to have to bypass an entire community which looks down upon the union.
What is the reason behind this?
Sometimes I believe its due to the negative image that a black man is, which is displayed through music videos, films(black guys many times play the villian, pimp, or drug pusher) and other outlets. Or is it that ethiopians having a strong sense of pride about their culture and the best for their women.
anyway great blog. I hope you guys don’t mind this brother as I educate myself on your culture.
LA Ethio Lover:
Great topic to bring up! I personally think that it has a lot to do with fear and ignorance. And yes, I agree with you that slavery still til this day has a ripple effect (unfortunately). A small part of it is that some Ethiopians are truly trying to perserve their culture, and traditions. My two cents….
i am so sorry to say this, but some habesha girls have bad hygiene. they only look clean from outside, but once they open their mouth or take off that cloth, it is totally unbearable
That was uncalled for Dawit….
LA,
Man, as a black American living here in the D.C. Area don’t I feel what you’re talking about. I find ethiopians here in D.C. to be very good people to talk to but the men are ultra-protective of their women and the women are ultra-defensive when being approached by a black American man. I honestly haven’t had any luck getting any of the women to open up to me.
But through a few solid rapports that I’ve developed with a few of the men I have been advised that I would have much better luck by taking a trip to Ethiopia to meet ethiopian women in contrast to trying to meet one here in Washington. My ethiopian male partners keep explaining to me that their women are very leery about meeting a black american man here in D.C. because they don’t know WHAT they’re getting. They don’t know if I’m a thug in disguise, they don’t know if I’m one of those down-low gay black men, they don’t know if I’m one of those who likes to beat on his woman, they are always “guarded” with black american men on our turf. But if I take a trip over there my chances will be MUCH better because they’ll pretty much know by me coming over there that I’m not a thug in disguise, that I’m an American brother who wants to w-o-r-k for a living and who is more likely to be a man who can provide for his woman.
I’m scheduled to go over to Addis Ababa in February, 2008, wish me luck. My sole reason for going is to find me an Ethiopian woman that I can marry.
ETChiller before we scold Dawit let’s find out why he’s saying what he’s saying. Dawit what makes you say that, or what do you think is the cause of these women’s hygiene not being to your liking? Is it the toothbrushing and bathing habits are not what you feel that they should be? Or do you feel that this is just a “natural” thing?
The reason why I’m asking these questions is because I’ve been with women of every race, ethnicity and hue, black, white, asian, latino and native american and I’ve NEVER met a woman who just had bad hygiene without an explanation behind it. In most cases it was “habits” in contrast to it just being a “natural” case of bad body odor. Almost never do I find that a change in habits doesn’t solve the problem.
-Either she bathed regularly but very rarely used deodorant because it wasn’t a part of her custom to do so.
-Or she may have come from a culture where they believed in brushing their teeth without toothpaste or mouthwash.
In most cases there’s some solution that can help any woman to rid herself of any unpleasant odor (if you’re willing to communicate it to her).
[quote comment="57650"]That was uncalled for Dawit….[/quote]
ETChiller,
i am just being honest and keeping it real. i am not saying all, i said “some”. so please don’t tell me that there are NO habesha girls with bad hygiene ok.
D.C. Ethio Curious,
i have been with black, white, and latin chicks too, but most clean up better. i am not saying all whites, blacks or latins are always clean. trust me, i have met white chicks that were funky as hell
listen, am not trying to put down my people or something. most habesha girls are extremely clean and they smell good inside and outside. i just want the few to clean up before they go on a date. hey dcethio, i have tried to tell this girl in a very nice way about the problem, but she was offended so much. so it is not like am not trying to be helpful.
[quote comment="57652"]LA,
Man, as a black American living here in the D.C. Area don’t I feel what you’re talking about. I find ethiopians here in D.C. to be very good people to talk to but the men are ultra-protective of their women and the women are ultra-defensive when being approached by a black American man. I honestly haven’t had any luck getting any of the women to open up to me.
“My ethiopian male partners keep explaining to me that their women are very leery about meeting a black american man here in D.C. because they don’t know WHAT they’re getting. They don’t know if I’m a thug in disguise, they don’t know if I’m one of those down-low gay black men, they don’t know if I’m one of those who likes to beat on his woman, they are always “guarded” with black american men on our turf.”
Yes, DC I know you feel what I’m saying. I have to work Extra hard because many but not all foreigners come to US with this description of black american men that I’m constanting trying to overcome. Not all of us her thugs, rapists, or gay. Its wack that our own women think this way but they you have many other cultures that harbor similar stereotypes. I’m not complaining I wonder if they tell new US residents this about brothers when the arrive on US soil because it seems that way lol.
In my case with this female i’ve asked out many times over a few years, she must know that I’m not any of those previously mentioned descriptions.
Please correct me if i’m wrong but these are some of the tips which I’ve gotten off the internet and from life experience. Ladies let me know if this is generally true (of course every woman isn’t the same):
1. They wait for everything
2. Many are shy and not as forthcoming with their opinions.
3. Being from a conservative culture they tend to be conservative as well
4. Afraid of being labeled “loose” by their community
5. Taught to be aloof to male requests
6. Patience is key.
LA,
Think about it, if you had a daughter would you teach her that she can be free, friendly and open with her black american men here? And I don’t mean like free with her body or anything like that, I’m just talking about befriending or dating anybody? NO, you’d teach her that she has to be cautious, you’d teach her that she has to be careful and that she has to seriously screen any young black american brother that she may decide to date when she’s old enough to date.
Unfortunately, being born-and-raised in America I have had to learn the hard way that black American men can’t be INSTANTLY trusted. Cats have to be watched over a period of months in some cases, in some cases even for a period of YEARS. Hell, for a lot of the Cats that I’ve befriended over the years who weren’t thugged-out, gay on the D.L. or even openly gay, ex-cons or drug dealers, a lot of the educated STRAIGHT ones who were about being productive american citizens STILL didn’t believe in being faithful to just ONE WOMAN, and with ME not having had any kids I’M IN THE MINORITY. Most of my straight partners have had at least ONE out-of-wedlock child.
These are just the facts of black American men. YES a number of us are trying daily to fight the stereotypes but unfortunately a lot of brothers have just accepted that a mediocre life in America is the life for them.
That’s why a number of the ethiopian men and women that I’ve talked to have told me “My man, you’ve got to go OVER TO OUR HOME COUNTRY, that’s where you can find you a good ethiopian girl willing to open up to you and talk about a committed relationship. When an ethiopian woman meets a black american man back home she’s much more willing to talk to you because american brothers who are thugs, drug dealers and criminals don’t come to ethiopia. When they meet you over there they know that you’re about something positive.”
And you can best believe that I’ll be in contact with this message board to report back to you (and others) regarding the kinds of results that I get when I go over there. I’ll let you know exactly what to expect if you ever decide to go, what the customs are over there, the proper way to approach women over there, I’ll give you the complete 4-1-1.
I consider ethiopian women the most beautiful women of african descent that god placed on this earth and with me being ready to settle down, make a commitment, get married and have children I MUST have one for my wife. That’s where I am in my life.
D.C. Ethio Curious,
I’m sure you’re a nice guy with all the fixings. But what’s up with all the offensive remarks? What is your obsession with Ethiopian women? There are some wonderful, beautiful, and educated African American women out there. What’s wrong with them? Is it a contest you have within yourself to win you an Ethiopian woman?
I don’t get it! If you’re ready to settle down you should be looking for the “right woman” not any Ethiopian woman who’ll say yes to you.
I have nothing against African American women/men as a matter of fact I love you guys but some of you have insecurities and lack of confidence to be liked and accepted for who you are and that’s what keeps others from viewing you in a positive manner. Come on now no one is judging you or condemning you for being an African American as much as you’re condemning yourself.
And yeah you can go to Ethiopia to get yourself a wife but your friends seem to leave out one thing. There are plenty of women who will marry you without even knowing your name. Beautiful ones for that thing called the green card. So please don’t waste your money traveling all the way over there for any other reason then to enjoy the land, culture, and the people. We are not prize possessions for the well accomplished black American man.
So chill out with this “I gots to have me an Ethio woman or I’ll die” attitude.
Peace.
D.C. Ethio Curious,
I’m sure you’re a nice guy with all the fixings. But what’s up with all the offensive remarks? What is your obsession with Ethiopian women? There are some wonderful, beautiful, and educated African American women out there. What’s wrong with them? Is it a contest you have within yourself to win you an Ethiopian woman?
I don’t get it! If you’re ready to settle down you should be looking for the “right woman” not any Ethiopian woman who’ll say yes to you.
What’s wrong with a man having a “preference”? There are plenty of people out there who have a preference that is outside of their own race, just be happy that my preference is WITHIN MY RACE. Now I didn’t intend for my remarks to be offensive but if you took offense to them you have my apologies. Be advised that although my comments offended you though that that will not change my preference. People in America have coined the phrase nowadays that “Well whatever floats your boat”. Well Ethiopian Sistas float my boat, so let my boat float and I’ll let your boat float.
I have nothing against African American women/men as a matter of fact I love you guys but some of you have insecurities and lack of confidence to be liked and accepted for who you are and that’s what keeps others from viewing you in a positive manner. Come on now no one is judging you or condemning you for being an African American as much as you’re condemning yourself.
I’m not condemning myself, in fact I KNOW that I’ve got my ish together. But to say that A GOOD NUMBER of american brothers don’t have “issues” that makes it tough for those of us out here trying to lead honest lives and make an honest living is just not being FACTUAL. That’s just the way that it is. Having been born-and-raised in this country I KNOW what it’s like to have to break down barriers on a daily basis. After a while you come to realize that brothers like ME aren’t the cause of the barriers that I have to deal with everyday, it’s the guys out here doing crime and other negative things that cause honest guys like me problems. THAT’S JUST A FACT.
And yeah you can go to Ethiopia to get yourself a wife but your friends seem to leave out one thing. There are plenty of women who will marry you without even knowing your name. Beautiful ones for that thing called the green card. So please don’t waste your money traveling all the way over there for any other reason then to enjoy the land, culture, and the people. We are not prize possessions for the well accomplished black American man.[/quote]
That’s a risk I’m willing to take. Falling in love and getting married is ALWAYS a risk. What did Robert Deniro say in the movie Heat? “The bank is worth the risk”. Well for me an ethiopian sista is worth the trip.
What are you gonna do, GET MAD IF IT ACTUALLY WORKS FOR ME????? “D.C. Ethio Curious married an ethiopian sista AND THEY’RE ACTUALLY HAPPY!!! I’m so mad I don’t know what to do!!!!”
I expected that response from you that I would get mad if you got an Ethiopian girl. You got it all wrong brotha and you didn’t answer my question? What’s wrong with the beautiful, well accomplished African American women?
You seem to want an Ethiopian woman just to prove you can get one almost like a “trophy wife” don’t you think that’s offensive to us?
Btw: Don’t take my comments as hate. I’m just questioning your comments. I got nothing but love for my AA borthers and sisters.
thank you celebratelife!!! you took the words right out of my mouth. dc ethio curious, whoever is telling you to go back home and find a nice ethiopian girl is trying to set you up. there is nothing wrong with ethio women back home but most of them want to get out, come to the states. so you’d be , sad to say, perfect bait for them. you would be her ticket out of addis and into the states. it happens more often than not. go to ethiopia, explore the country, get familiar with the people. i would never discourage anyone from going back home and finding a nice ethiopian girl and get married. but just make sure there are no ulterior motives.
i have to disagree with you celebratelife when you said ‘ We are not prize possessions for the well accomplished black American man’. it seems like a very condescending statement on your part. your also putting youself in that statement, meaning you dont think you are worthy enough. ther is also another way of interpreting this statement: exoticism [ meaning that black amerian/african american glorify/admire ethiopian women for their looks]. Then i would i say YES, i agree with that statement. or do you care to clarify what you meant?
thanks!
It’s definitely for the reason of the bolded comment. We are worthy of a lot more then just being amired for our looks.
dc ethio curious
why do u want an ethio woman? …just curious
I expected that response from you that I would get mad if you got an Ethiopian girl. You got it all wrong brotha and you didn’t answer my question? What’s wrong with the beautiful, well accomplished African American women?
Ain’t nothing wrong with well accomplished African American women, my mother and sister are both beautiful, well accomplished African American women, but yet and still A MAN IS ENTITLED TO HIS PREFERENCE. Just be happy that this black man’s preference falls within his own race.
You seem to want an Ethiopian woman just to prove you can get one almost like a “trophy wife” don’t you think that’s offensive to us?
Offensive no. SHALLOW yes.
there is nothing wrong with ethio women back home but most of them want to get out, come to the states. so you’d be , sad to say, perfect bait for them. you would be her ticket out of addis and into the states. it happens more often than not. go to ethiopia, explore the country, get familiar with the people. i would never discourage anyone from going back home and finding a nice ethiopian girl and get married. but just make sure there are no ulterior motives.
Yeah I’ve heard about horror stories like that, most of them involving German women marrying American men in the military, flying back over here to the U.S. and then divorcing them 2 months after arriving here in the states. I’ve heard about that happening to white men and black men in the U.S. Military. Trust me, I plan on scoping the girls out while I’m there and if I don’t feel comfortable with what I’m encountering then I won’t make a move. I’ll come back to D.C. alone and just cherish the memories from my visit.
dc ethio curious
why do u want an ethio woman? …just curious
Actually you don’t sound curious, you sound like you want to attack a brother for having a preference. THIS AIN’T OPRAH.
[quote comment="58135"]LA,
I consider ethiopian women the most beautiful women of african descent that god placed on this earth and with me being ready to settle down, make a commitment, get married and have children I MUST have one for my wife. That’s where I am in my life.[/quote]
DC Ethio Curious – I appreciate your compliments about the women but at the same time it sounds like you are objectifying us Ethio women. We’re NOT a piece of property that you just go to Africa for and bring back…
DC Ethio Curious – I appreciate your compliments about the women but at the same time it sounds like you are objectifying us Ethio women. We’re NOT a piece of property that you just go to Africa for and bring back…
If I were an African guy would you accuse me of that? Cause I’ve got many an african partner who went back home and did JUST THAT. Maybe my ethiopian sistas are being a little too extreme, untrusting and accusatory in these assumptions. An african-american friend of mine, in fact he’s my neighbor who grew up around the corner from me in my hometown met his wife over in her home country of Nigeria. She never accused him of objectifying her because he met her over in Nigeria.
You know I’ve heard about many of these networks of white american men who go over to Australia, Europe and the Netherlands to find a wife, heck they even had a segment about it on 60 Minutes because that has become very popular over the last 10 years. Never heard any of those white guys being accused of “objectifying” these women that they met abroad.
But that’s black people within these shores of the United States though isn’t it? Untrusting, assumptive and always searching for something to “accuse” somebody of aren’t we?
[quote comment="58273"]
dc ethio curious
why do u want an ethio woman? …just curious
Actually you don’t sound curious, you sound like you want to attack a brother for having a preference. THIS AIN’T OPRAH.[/quote]
hahaha…assumptions assumptions
DC Ethio Curious, sorry to say it but this doesn’t sound too different from the “Jungle Fever” mentality. You know what I mean, a brother who makes it above and beyond the stereotype all of a sudden feels entitled to some white chic. Except in your case it’s not a white chic but an abesha one. You have developed an unrealistic and idealized image of them based on your imagination. If I’m wrong please correct me. At the end of the day I think it comes down to this, If you can’t land yourself a bomb ass black american, or white, or asian girl why do you expect to land an Ethiopian one?
Now, even as an Ethiopian American (who looks like a black american) I have been the object of some of those same stereotypes that you and LA Lover are talking about and for a long time it was, at a minimum, confusing, but at the end of the day it’s not a racial issue but more of a cultural issue. Even though I’m ethiopian, I grew up, for the most part, here in the U.S. where as a man, especially a black man, you’re taught that if you see a girl you like you step up, spit some game, let her knew you’re interested and either it happens or it doesn’t. Within Ethiopian culture however, one has to be a little more clever and shrewd about it. One must understand all the subtleties and implicit mores that our culture requires and that takes years of trial and error within our circles (one trip to Ethiopia will not be enough unless you get some desperate visa seeker who’ll drop you a month after she gets it).
I think there’s only a few options for you and LA Lover, you can 1) Drop the whole Ethiopian chic pursuit, if a person is not attracted to you because of your cultural heritage/identity than that person (or group) is not worth pursuing, 2) completely engulf and lose yourself in that culture to pick up those aspects of it that will make you more “appealing” and maybe with a little luck you’ll find yourself an Ethiopian chic who thinks you’re “worthy” or 3) get yourself an Americanized Ethiopian chic, but know that she is basically a black-American chick with an exotic name.
At the end of the day if you haven’t developed a meaningful relationship based on trust, friendship, and respect, even if you do land that “bomb ass ethiopian dime” in time you’ll get over the exotic beauty aspect of it and be left with a girl with nothing except a cute face and cold heart.
ETChiller: kudos 2 you brother. You beat me to the punch. Because the question Y an ETHIO woman? Why do you find them beautyful? went an unanswered, I was just gonna let it out before you did. Its the caucasian attributes of the Ethio woman that is been thought after. I should add, however, even Ethio men (women too) seek the same caucasian attributes in their women as well. This isn’t meant to take away choices or preference of any man or woman, but to seek an explanation of how and why the choices are made as such. It seems, the power that be has brainwashed us that we think only their women, or the one that take one or two away, look like they could be a white woman.
At the end of the day will y’all just wish me the best? None of the wisdom that you’re laying on me, or better yet what I would call “discouragement” gonna get me out of taking my trip. That’s the kind of guy I am, once my mind’s made up you’re talking to a brick wall.
And if I go over there and find what I’m looking for what’s everybody got to say then? Maybe it WILL take more than one trip. Maybe I’m fully prepared to take several trips.
My game is my game, hold off on throwing the “salt” in it.
GOOD GOD, I’d hate to see the reaction if I’d have come on here and said “I’m only into blond-haired white women named Heather”. GEE WHIZ.
injera, huh?
D.C. Ethio Curious,
sorry bro, you sound so shallow and an embarrassment.
[quote comment="57395"]i am so sorry to say this, but some habesha girls have bad hygiene. they only look clean from outside, but once they open their mouth or take off that cloth, it is totally unbearable[/quote]
The same guy that made this comment above is an example for me when it comes to depth of personality? I sound like Dr. Phil compared to you.
[quote comment="58435"]At the end of the day will y’all just wish me the best?
None of the wisdom that you’re laying on me, or better yet what I would call “discouragement” gonna get me out of taking my trip. That’s the kind of guy I am, once my mind’s made up you’re talking to a brick wall.
And if I go over there and find what I’m looking for what’s everybody got to say then? Maybe it WILL take more than one trip. Maybe I’m fully prepared to take several trips.
My game is my game, hold off on throwing the “salt” in it.
GOOD GOD, I’d hate to see the reaction if I’d have come on here and said “I’m only into blond-haired white women named Heather”. GEE WHIZ.[/quote]
why so defensive curious…? nothing wrong with thinking/feeling what u think…..u looking for an ethio woman cos she’d be beautiful? or…?
DC Ethio Curious, don’t mistaken it for discouragement, if you’re determined to find one, then hell go for it. I was only saying what I said based on my own experiences and as someone who’s been “around the ET block.” To me you get to a point where you say; “Is this really worth it. There are a thousand other nobler causes and pursuits that are worthy of expending my energy, so is it worth slaving over, on the POTENTIAL that I might get tossed a ‘bone’.” Me personally, I’ve come to a point where I don’t think it is, but if your answer is a resounding “yes” and again you seem to have resolve in your pursuit then maybe that’s what will matter in the end…….so do your thing playa’….
[quote comment="58444"][quote comment="57395"]i am so sorry to say this, but some habesha girls have bad hygiene. they only look clean from outside, but once they open their mouth or take off that cloth, it is totally unbearable[/quote]
The same guy that made this comment above is an example for me when it comes to depth of personality? I sound like Dr. Phil compared to you.[/quote]
D.C. Ethio Curious,
what does my statement about about bad hygiene anything to do about your “shallowness” and your “obsession” with ethio girls? …… NOTHING!!
i have to break this for you, in case you failed to see it man. in all your posts so far, you sound so silly. you also failed to answer why you want an ethio girl… why not african american, white, latin, or asian girl?
look at you…. you don’t think saying “i want find me an Ethiopian woman…” is not silly and shallow..? all i see you keep saying is describing the physical attributes of the person not what kind person she is… that to me is being shallow.
[quote comment="58460"]DC Ethio Curious, don’t mistaken it for discouragement, if you’re determined to find one, then hell go for it. I was only saying what I said based on my own experiences and as someone who’s been “around the ET block.” and again you seem to have resolve in your pursuit then maybe that’s what will matter in the end…….so do your thing playa’….[/quote]
That’s really the most commonsensical response for me to reply to. I stated above that I’m completely open to coming back from the Motherland by myself if I’m not comfortable with what I encounter there. Let me go over there, see what I see and we’ll see what happens. I may come back and say “Man, Ethiopian girls just aren’t the girls for me” but I’m going to formulate my opinion AFTER a trip or two…………….or three…………(or four or five). :>)
So what’s the lesson of the day on this site?
-Don’t come on here bashing ethiopian sistas.
-Don’t come on here complimenting ethiopian sistas either.
[quote comment="58472"]:D brick wall[/quote]
I fit the aries profile, what can I tell you. :>)
Regardless of what you may think my motives are honorable.
‘So whats the lesson of the day on this site?
-Dont come on here bashing ethiopian sistas.
-Dont come on here complimenting ethiopian sistas either.’
Hahahah…very funny DC….
Damn! Just leave DC alone! He wants an Ethio woman because he wants an Ethio woman! Sometimes people have preferances that they can’t explain (or don’t want to explain). For a long time I was attracted to a specific race only and I didn’t know why. But the attraction went away after a while. Maybe DC will feel the same way maybe he won’t. Let the man enjoy this feeling!
Dear DC, you’re a grown man (at least I hope so) and you know the risks of marrying an Ethio lady and bringing her here. There are many stories about how dudes of all color, even Ethio guys, have been left broken hearted.
You play your game knowing the risks! Play on!
And, thank you for thinking that Ethio ladies are beautiful. I’ll take that as a compliment. It never gets old.
[quote comment="58561"]And, thank you for thinking that Ethio ladies are beautiful. I’ll take that as a compliment. It never gets old.[/quote]
Well thank you Sista, it was intended as the highest of compliments, never knew it would make some people react negatively. It’s all good though. By the way, for those who kept on asking me “why” I wanted an ethiopian woman and got no response it was because of what I had stated way up above, that I think they are the most beautiful women of african descent that god placed on this planet. I hate repeating myself, especially for an argument that at least to me was pretty petty and unnecessary.
Talked to one of my fellas yesterday about the obstacle of marrying an ethiopian girl over in Ethiopia only to have her dump me once she moves to the U.S. and he was like “Man, how old are you?” and I said “38″ and he was like “You don’t have any kids right?” and I was like “no” and his reply was “Well now’s a good time to start. Make sure she’s pregnant before she steps foot on U.S. soil.” I told him “Gee whiz. Ethiopian women aren’t the only ones that are calculating nowadays now are they?” We shared a laugh.
It’s a thought though.
you’re 38??? wow. and here I was thinking we had a youngin of 18. time to act your age, bro. Maybe it’s in the way you approach these women. Have you thought of that? How about adjusting your attitude? Beauty on the outside is meaningless if the person is not an inspired, passionate person.
WTF? You should stop while you’re ahead. You’re getting so offensive it’s ridiculous. Sorry dude being a baby momma is not something we’re brought up to accept as a lifestyle so get over yourself right quick.
If at your age you can’t see women for anything more than outer beauty then you need more help then I originally thought.
But then again you’re probably doing some research on how to provoke people by saying the dumbest things. Ok my bad.
Moreso than anything you’ll be mad if it works out. I wasn’t sure when you first started posting but now I’ve figured it out, you just don’t want to see me married and happy with an Ethiopian Sista and it would burn you up if I were. That’s your whole issue (no matter how much you try to deny it).
Aight DC Curious, let me break it down, many may or may not agree with this but I think there’s a “role reversal” issue here. It’s great that you love Ethiopian women and you’re out here complimenting them. But part of the “problem” is that they get these compliments all the time, all day, every day. So there’s many, not all, but many whose egos have gone through the roof. It’s these types that many Ethiopian (and non-Ethiopian) men have become frustrated over. Their egos are in orbit and doesn’t seem to be coming down anytime soon.
I think it also has to do with a power struggle between ethio (and non) men and women where the women are finding their footing and confidence in America, and that footing just might be in a place above those of the men. Now most Ethiopians come here work hard, go to school and make a pretty good living, but the women who, on average have much better aesthetic qualities (sorry to say it but I have yet to see any white, black, asian, etc. women on here talkin’ about how much they MUST have an Ethiopian MAN). I think most Ethiopian women believe that they are out of the league of most Ethiopian, and for that matter non-Ethiopian, men. Most women who are beautiful and are used to being complimented develop an ego where even the most good looking, wealthy, and successful man might not be enough. So if you’re a lawyer, doctor, making $80K+ you might think you’re the shit but the reality is for the woman, who’s expectation is incredibly high, you’re just another “average joe.” The opposite equivalent to me is a super rich man, where everyone knows he’s rich, now again not all, but most of these types of men also have the same ego as women of great beauty.
So the problem is not with ethiopian (and non) women or men, but has more to do with women of beauty in general, who have developed a meglomaniac mentality and therefore their expectations are too much for any “mortal” man to truely fulfill. It’s just that Ethiopian women have more than their fair share of beauty amongst any given group.
Anonymous4Life thank you for providing a voice of objectivity, and just be advised that now that you’ve given your blunt and honest opinion you’ve now developed more than your fair share of enemies. Just look at how I’m getting crucified instead of thanked for being honest. Wonder what kind of reception I’d get if I were to just get on here and just blow “smoke” up these Sistas rear ends, throw cash at them, fool them into thinking that I’m something that I’m not only to have them find out 5 years, 3 kids and a divorce later that they’ve been bamboozled? Hey, that’s what happened to my Sister which is why she’s as divorced as she can be.
Makes you wonder doesn’t it?
To my Ethiopian Sistas who reside in America who take such “offense” at the things that I’m saying let me give you a small bit of advice from somebody who’s lived their entire life here in the U.S.
#1. There just ain’t enough upfront honesty in this country to go around, in fact there’s very little to go around so stop being so SENSITIVE when you get it.
#2. Learn how to appreciate it WHEN YOU DO GET IT. In this country you get VERY LITTLE upfront honesty in the realm of love, and you get EVEN LESS THAN THAT in the realm of business, so wake up and smell that Foldgers coffee.
#3. When a man and a woman find love between them JUST BE HAPPY FOR THEM. You and your thoughts on how their relationship SHOULD BE, combined with .50 won’t even buy coffee at 7-Eleven.
People in this country got a nasty habit of giving their opinion about somebody else’s relationship (and I see that many of my Ethiopian Sistas in America have also developed that nasty habit).
“I think most Ethiopian women believe that they are out of the league of most Ethiopian, and for that matter non-Ethiopian, men. Most women who are beautiful and are used to being complimented develop an ego where even the most good looking, wealthy, and successful man might not be enough. So if youre a lawyer, doctor, making $80K+ you might think youre the shit but the reality is for the woman, whos expectation is incredibly high, youre just another average joe. The opposite equivalent to me is a super rich man, where everyone knows hes rich, now again not all, but most of these types of men also have the same ego as women of great beauty.
So the problem is not with ethiopian (and non) women or men, but has more to do with women of beauty in general, who have developed a meglomaniac mentality and therefore their expectations are too much for any mortal man to truely fulfill. Its just that Ethiopian women have more than their fair share of beauty amongst any given group.”
I’d be willing to bet that a lot of them are going to eventually (if not already) start singing the same song as most beautiful black American women…..”there ain’t no good men out here”. And unfortunately what comes out of your mouth everyday develops itself into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Oh there are good men out here in the U.S. but as you pointed out above, 97% of American men are “Average Joe’s”. For that 3% that are NOT Average Joe’s there’s a life of hell waiting on you when you snag him. Yeah Kobe Bryant’s wife might be proud that she snagged him but when he got brought up on charges in Colorado……………………well let’s not go there.
So, if they’re looking to have a life of happiness with a good man in it, might have to do like this comedian said on Comic View and get that man who will just go get a video on Friday, order out for dinner and just make it a Blockbuster night. Cause that regular guy ain’t flying you to the Cayman Islands on the spur of the moment.
That’s what life in this country is REALLY all about.
D.C. Ethio Curious,
“People in this country got a nasty habit of giving their opinion about somebody elses relationship (and I see that many of my Ethiopian Sistas in America have also developed that nasty habit).”
Mamitu says:
It is not that Ethiopian sisters in America are developing the habit of putting their nose in someone else’s buisness. It is just that all Ethiopians are protective of what is their own. In Ethiopia if a man marries a woman it is almost certain that his intent is to provide for her, for her children and be there for her in all aspects. And to be honest that is not what we all see here in most AA communities, where baby mommas and baby daddies are so commom.
So this is like a family of people questioning you of your intent in asking their daughter’s hand in marriage, which is a big Ethiopian tradition. When a man intends to marry a girl in Ethiopia he sends elders to her fathers house for her hand in marriage where his elders are faced with a barage of questions about his intent, his family tree, how he is going to provide for her, whether or not he will submit to family elders when there is conflict between the two of them,……before her family agrees to the Union.
[quote comment="58696"]D.C. Ethio Curious,
Mamitu says:
And to be honest that is not what we all see here in most AA communities, where baby mommas and baby daddies are so commom.
So this is like a family of people questioning you of your intent in asking their daughter’s hand in marriage, which is a big Ethiopian tradition. When a man intends to marry a girl in Ethiopia he sends elders to her fathers house for her hand in marriage where his elders are faced with a barrage of questions about his intent, his family tree, how he is going to provide for her, whether or not he will submit to family elders when there is conflict between the two of them,……before her family agrees to the Union.[/quote]
Well thank you my brother or my sister (I don’t know which) for the manner in which you approached me which was much less assumptive then the way that I’ve been approached previously on here. You were much more respectful in the way in which you came at me, “respect” being the key word and if you want to know the truth, that’s where quite a few african-americans have A PROBLEM with quite a few africans who come to this country because a lot of them treat “us” as if THEIR concerns are DIFFERENT than our concerns, and quite frankly it seems to african americans that a lot of africans think that WHITEY views them differently than he views US. It’s only as of the last 7 or 8 years that I have noticed more of my african brothers and sisters starting to “open up” about the racism that they have encountered and them coming to the realization that REGARDLESS of where you come from Whitey views ALL OF US the exact same way……BENEATH THEM. Just recently in this country and in the world are a lot of africans coming to the realization that whitey’s view and treatment of black people is the same WORLDWIDE.
Now the fact that a number of africans have expressed to me that the black american man is lazy and doesn’t want to take advantage of opportunities given to him is one that I would STRONGLY AGREE with. That’s a conditioning that many of the black men in this country are trying to overcome, but slowly but surely more of our brothers here are overcoming that mental slavery and freeing their minds. Years and years of racism has played its part in that mental slavery as well.
Now back to the subject at hand regarding Ethiopian traditions and customs. You’d be surprised how cooperative I would be regarding respecting the traditions that you have mentioned, in all honesty I’d be more than willing to fly my father and perhaps my older brother over to the homeland to meet the parents of my bride-to-be and they would have no problem meeting with and answering the questions of her father and/or the members of her father’s house. That being said her parents would have to understand that THERE HAS TO BE A MIXING OF THE TWO CULTURES. Everything can’t go the way of Ethiopian tradition, there has to be some black American tradition mixed in there as well. Although you may not realize it because the vision has been skewed by quite a few of us having gotten away from some of our traditions with the Baby Mommas and Baby Daddies trend of the last 30 years THERE STILL ARE BLACK AMERICAN TRADITIONS THAT HAVE TO BE RESPECTED AND THAT RESPECT HAS TO BE SHOWN FOR BY HER FAMILY. One thing that is a black American tradition is that IT’S A TWO-WAY STREET and although her father may feel like he’s the only one who should ask all of the questions MY PEOPLE WOULD HAVE QUESTIONS TOO. In our culture in this country everything can’t go ONE WAY.
And on the final point regarding whether or not he would submit to family elders when there is a conflict between the two of them I WOULD HAVE A REAL PROBLEM WITH THAT ONE. Why? Because in OUR COUNTRY you do NOT intervene in your daughter’s or son’s marriage during conflict unless one of two things happens:
#1. If the husband strikes the wife and her family finds out about it. That’s grounds for WAR. But here, if the husband never lays a finger on the wife in any aggressive manner and the two of them are just having a normal disagreement or a spat between them (which EVERY marriage has) then it is the job of both families to STAY OUT OF IT.
#2. If the wife leaves him and she needs a place to stay, in our country she can always go back to her parent’s home as a place to stay if she is truly gone for good and is looking to start a new life and needs to get back on her feet.
So sorry I got so longwinded there but I’ve got a tight partner who’s wife is ethiopian and he has told me in the past that although he does everything he can to RESPECT his in-laws, they’ve had a strong falling-out between him and them because they don’t feel like he goes along with ethiopian tradition like he should. He told me too “Man we would get along fine if her people would have as much respect for african-american tradition as they want me to have for ethiopian tradition”. It’s gotten so bad between the two sides that a lot of times his wife just goes over to her parent’s house by herself and just leaves her husband at home.
Oh and by the way, the reason why I said I’d be more than willing to fly my father over to Ethiopia instead of my mother and father is because my mother past away 13 years ago. She and my Pops were married for 37 years before she went home to be with the Lord.
Just throwing that out there fyi.
And you want one cause your buddy got one. I’m loving this! Now I’m starting to feel sorry for you. He’s trying to tell you something but as always you’re not listening….learn a little of our culture before you go jumping in the “I want to marry an Ethiopian” frenzy.
DC Curious,
With all due respect, sir, I would like to reiterate the question you have been asked again and again, why would you like to marry an Ethiopian if you are sure of some cultures not being acceptable to you? Why don’t you set your goals on marrying a beautiful woman? And there are plenty beautiful Americans to be found who could adhere to your values. Why would you want to get into a commitment that might start on a handicap of having to reconcile two very different cultures?
What you have to understand is, for people who come from Ethiopia as it is with many Eastern cultures the family sits on a pedestal. Many Ethiopian women I know who have married outside of their culture have partners who go the extra mile to be accommodating of the Ethiopian values which results in successful marriages, because Ethiopians have a very strong culture that can be dominating. I think anyone who wants to marry an Ethiopian woman because he loves her has to realize that and be accepting of that fact.
Before you hop on that plane, I suggest you ask yourself why you want to do it, if you want to do it or if it is worth it altogether.
“Hes trying to tell you something but as always youre not listening”
celebratelife you’ve got it only half right. It’s not that I’m not listening, I’m not listening to YOU. You want to have a monologue instead of a dialogue, that’s not how it works. The reason why you and I can’t talk is because you want everybody to listen while listening is something that you really suck at.
“Many Ethiopian women I know who have married outside of their culture have partners who go the extra mile to be accommodating of the Ethiopian values which results in successful marriages, because Ethiopians have a very strong culture that can be dominating. I think anyone who wants to marry an Ethiopian woman because he loves her has to realize that and be accepting of that fact.”
That’s SERIOUSLY up for debate, trust me, you don’t know EACH AND EVERY ethiopian woman who has married outside of her culture, I know a few of them too, but trust me Mamitu I’ll take everything you’ve said under advisement.
In the meantime I’ll let you all know how my trip to your home country goes next year, I plan to enjoy. Gotta sign-off now.
Why do you sound so upset? Wow didn’t know I’d touch a nerve. Wheeeeew all this because I asked “why do you wanna marry an Ethio?” Sorry bro didn’t know you were so sensitive.
D.C ETHIO, why do you think you need to justify yourself. We all have got one life to live. Do what you got to do. Don’t expect some approval in some blog. As Nike’s slogan, ‘just do it’. then deal with it, it is your life.
[quote comment="58716] You want to have a monologue instead of a dialogue, that’s not how it works. [quote]
sounds like a brick wall don’t it?
DC Ethio Curious –
1) Hope you’re not wanting an Ethiopian wife for curiousity’s sake, as in your name. Remember curiousity killed the cat! LOL!
2) We/I APPRECIATE your compliments, but at the same time some of your comments/language sound like you are objectifying us. Again, we’re not a piece of property!
3) I don’t think anybody will be mad if things work out for you. I think you may be a bit paranoid about that….
4) If your intents are honestly all good – I wish you the best!
All I can say is, you gotta pray to God to help you find your mate. It’s not a matter of megderder, but just finding the right one is the toughest challege. Pray!
Well, forgive me but isn’t he, D.C. EthioCurious that is, fueling that heady powerful ego trip when he insists and swears up and down that he will do whatever it takes to land one even if it means he would have to impregnate her so that he can have her in his possession for the mere reason of her beauty? I mean doesn’t one feed the other? I am not in complete agreement with the argument put forth but I am just playing devil’s advocate here.
As for D.C. EthioCurious, my brother, in my humble opinion you are not nearly ready to meet any women, let alone get married and form a family. Be it Ethiopian or any other race of your choosing…I simply don’t think you are ready, I say this because I see you stuck on the surface (the superficial). It wasn’t that the women, particularly, Celebratelife took offense to the undoubtdely sincere compliment that you think we as Ethiopian women are beautiful… I think it was rather due to the exclusivity of the rest of quality we possess that seems to be ignored in the discussion that she finds offensive. I got no problem you thinking I am the most beautiful creature God threw in the jungle… in fact I bask in the ‘em em em girlllllll you is so fineeeeeeee’ and “dayyyyyyyyyyyyum girl you beautiful” remarks that never fails to tickle my ego
I welcome it because some of my own Ethio brothers are no so eagerly generous to throw a bone my way because they think it will go to my head. So my dear keep em flowing 
Hey now, come on, let us keep it real enji. I don’t know about others but I thought you were merely proposing to take a trip so that you can find you a beautiful Ethiopian girl to marry…no where did I see two people who were in love. Had that been the case I would have raised my glass and say Hurraaaay! As for the rest of the remark you put your .50 and I put my .49 and we will try to get us that coffee, how about that? Or you think you got 99 problems but a buck ain’t one of them?
On the real though don’t tell me to restrict my opinions while you are giving yours in abundance. You are contradicting your self because in one of your remark to Celeb you said
Well we are trying to have a dialogue with you and trying to understand why you feel it is a mission of your existence to be married to an Ethiopian girl (frankly I would have asked you in the same manner if you have said to an Anglo women). As they say if you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen. Otherwise we can have a civilized and productive exchange with out resorting to intimidation, condescending and down right offensiveness.
One important question I think that have yet to be asked is…have you ever have a lengthy discussion with an Ethio woman? Have you gone past the physical and try to get to know the essence of the women who is the object of your affection? Do you have Ethiopian women for a friend? How much do you know about the culture and the people? I mean you can take the girl out of the country but you can’t take the country out of the girl so am just curious…as you are of course
I LOVE YOU dc curious
but women in Ethio are not as good as you might think they are. as women of other cultures, they are all the same – looking for a guy with lot of cash.
Oh my goodness YekeyDama, I feel like I just had a nice cold glass of Arenchata on a hot sunny day after reading your comment #150 especially the part that states
DC brother man, If I had a dime for every time I got a compliment, from a non Ethiopian man, just because I’m Ethiopian I’d be sitting on the right side of Bill Gates. Then you ask where’s Ethiopia and you get a blank stare. No offense to you but most of your brothers don’t know Ethiopia beyond the face and hair of the women.
I remember one comedian made a comment about how bad he wants an Ethiopian, an Italian, or a Brazilian woman because he wants good looking children Mts.
D.C. EthioCurious, you don’t seem to get it bro. you are stubborn and such a stuck up old man.
thanks celebratelife & YekeyDama, I am proud of you and proud to be in company of intelligent ethio ladies like you.
I agree Dawit, but does she smell nice is the question…..
[quote comment="59507"]I agree Dawit, but does she smell nice is the question…..[/quote]
Flawless.
The dialogue has been utterly insightful. I’ve actually been looking for this type of honest and direct interaction for quite a while.
I won’t pretend to know the answers to anything discussed thus far. However, I will say that human nature is just this way.
You have woman. You have man. Some say the two species are wired quite differently. I don’t know, but its obvious to me that everything has a solution.
Some are feeling strictured by the culture. Some vacillate over what is the right choice to make. And then there is the question of dating outside of the culture.
I agree with Mamitu in several respects, but not at the expense of DC-CURIOUS. I believe the energy of such comments shared by both for example is a true example of the human experience. Relativity, patriotism, disestablishment, acceptance, lack of true understanding, etc. These elements are not directed to anyone in particular – but as I peruse the comments, these are simply nuances that strike me the strongest.
Whether, you all want to agree or not, the tides of change are inevitable. It’s the way of the world. Things we hold most dear are the very things we’ll be tried on to see if we are truly committed to evolving and acceptance. Things that were once considered taboo may just be the magus opus for promising positive change.
For the record, no culture is better than any other. In fact, none of us can boast of being inpenetrable as a culture or as a race for that matter. Cultures are the aggregation of other such cultures, whether recognized willingly or not.
Further, the “slave mentality” is not the ownership of one race alone. The slave mentality is pervasive and has many different labels in which multitudes succumb. One could easily say that certain cultural mores keep collectives in a state of sublime deaf, dumb, and blindness. It almost like saying, ” Those are a nice pair of snake-skin shoes, but what are you going to do about the fangs sticking-up in your big toe”. I know it’s a crude example, but then again I felt compelled to write this 3 o’clock in the morning.
And though, I may have touched on several issues disclosing aspects about the “mystery” of women earlier, I submit this with all conviction:
Women, whether ethios, habesha, or otherwise are the gems that add life, enchantment, and excitement to an otherwise unbearable world without them.
Brothers, as the hunter or natural aggressor by nature, let’s enjoy the experience in getting to more effectively coalesce with our necessary counterpart.
Women appreciate the sublime.
Well “prescribed” ELIM-rx, I think you’ve just given the final remedy to a dragging ailment….
It’s just my humble observation. But at any rate, thx ETChiller. Its good to know someone has an ear to hear.
…there is no set formula on how to ask an Ethiopian girl out or any girl for that matter. but there are some guide lines thats for sure. say what you want but confidence is more than just a 9 letter word, its what separates the men from the boys,that and some pubic hair but thats a different story…my point is, you cant score if your too scared to shoot…no matter how many girls you flirt with on your IM list, you’re still going to get nerves every time you approach a pretty girl or right before your first kiss. so next time you see a cute girl sitting by her self, grab your balls and if they are still there walk up to her, be nice and sound confident. after all we are men, we hunt, thats all we do…just remember even the most furious lions come out empty handed at times, but they still walk with their heads held up high…
Ps. guys stop trying to charm Ethio girls its been proven that there is no humanly way of doing that. you can impress them but not charm em’.
[quote comment="1278"]To all the single abesha guys out there:
First things first. You should place higher priority NOT on how to ask a woman out, but rather on how you carry yourself. If you feel there are opportunities for improvement there, please do work on them first. Then, the rest will be easier.[/quote]
“link me with noaln i will tell her the fact”
let me get Nolan first then i will tell her the fact .she will in turn reach all in secret.
reading this is so far. being a Kenyan guy, having lived in the states and been in Ethiopia, I get the sense that Ethiopian culture is very different and within the culture the guys and girls didn’t mix too much until marriage which was a big cultural thing involving parents, relatives etc. So courting may not play as much of a big role in Ethio culture than in American culture. Walking through the streets of Addis, it’s so rare to see a couple walking together like in the states. Mostly guys will hang out with their friends same as the girls. And this happens to be true even after marriage. So the whole thing is not like in the states where a guy is like stuck to his woman, holding hands, hanging out with her all the time etc.
So this habit becomes a real problem when an Ethio guy is abroad. Firstly he’s looking to continue hanging out with his guy friends and then he’s not so used to spending a lot of time around women, wooing them etc. He knows he’s just supposed to be a man and he’ll get a woman somehow. Atleast that’s what would happen in Ethiopia. So that’s the big cultural barrier that a person needs to overcome.
That’s why an Ethio (or African) guy feels like his game is so down in the states! Especially if you see how lethal the AA guys when it comes to dating. And you even feel offended when they are being more successful with your own women than you – it’s only human!
And it’s expected that the guys will be protective of their women. No one would like people coming in, having their women and taking off. (typical player behavior). It creates some resentment. But I think the protective behavior would greatly diminish if you’re coming in as a smart, gentlemanly, successful person and you’re treating the women very well. It’s kind of a compliment to the whole community so you’d get way more love if ure not part of the Ethiopian crew.
And obviously Ethiopian culture is very protective of itself and that’s why they stopped the Italians from colonizing them. Finally, even though you’re black, many Ethiopians don’t see themselves as being “black” per se coz of their different physical traits, language and culture. But they do have a lot of African pride. So it’s quite a bit of walking the tight rope dealing with that. But if you come respectfully, you always get respect.
wow thanks for the insight holmes
i real want to now the eeality behained this page
pleas write to me abesh girl lve in usa.
i want to make relation with you.
i am confused here. which ethiopian girls are we talking about because there are different type. for example we have the FOB’s, the ghetto want to be, the educated and uptight, or the down to earth westernized ones but have a sense of their culture . Because the way I see it, there are different rules that apply to these groups.
“How to ask Ethiopian girls out?” is really a provocative article which explains the huge number of comments it generates. I wish we (men and women) agree here on this blog on a set of rules that guide our dating. Oh no! Imagine how life would have been boring if dating (and life) is so predictable. Where is the fun if we have all the answers! So guys don’t you worry how about you should ask a girl out-there is really no one-size-fits all approach. Just enjoy the unpredictability of dating- and excitement that comes with it. Yeah, I know of many us are paralyzed by fear of rejection .But this fear is good in as much as it help us to refine our approach and prevents us from taking unnecessary risks(like asking Angelina Jolie out and declare the end of the world when she refused) that could badly bruise our egos. If still rejected, try to take it gracefully- and not personally. She doesn’t know you (and you don’t know her) after all.
I gotta say “Back to the Topic” there’s some major stereotyping going on there. One that seems to be addressed partly by Kebede.
Some of this might sound repetitive, but ethiopians are part of a major diaspora, even within the U.S. there’s a spectrum of different cultural upbringings. For those Ethiopians who’ve grown up in Ethiopia or around Ethiopians, there might be some or several ways in which they approach/interact with members of the opposite sex, for those who’ve grown up around African-Americans, there’s another and so on. So far we’ve said Ethiopian girls this and Ethiopian guys that but the fact of it is Ethiopians within themselves are as diverse as America itself. There is no absolute or perfect way for one to approach an Ethiopian (or non) woman. I’ve grown up around black americans, white americans, asians, middle eastern, and hispanics throughout my early life and later around Ethiopians and the funny thing is everyone has their own definitions about what is “game”, confidence, and what it is they find appealing about members of the opposite sex. Even within those groups there’s an array of diferences.
Now, as an Ethiopian-American male I do understand that women of beauty are always “in demand” and if Ethiopians (and non) want an Ethiopian woman they better step up confidently, more confident than any other if they’re going to get somewhere but even then that doesn’t
guarantee anything. Even the concept of “confident” might vary based on those differing personalities and upbringings mentioned above. So the only thing one can do is if they’re interested in a girl then step up, talk to her as if you’re the richest, best-looking, most
“well-endowed” man in the world but if she says no, then move on to the next girl WITH THE SAME ATTITUDE! The reason why she might’ve rejected you could be an array of reasons that may or may not have anything to do with you. Leave the sensitivity at home….tucked quietly in the back of a closet, haha.
I should also add, this is more in the direction of Abesha women. If a guy doesn’t “step up” it doesn’t mean that he’s not confident or has no “game”. There’s a possibility that he may just NOT BE ATTRACTED TO YOU in that way. Now you might have a hundred other guys falling head over hells over you and you may conclude that “oh well he obviously wants me, but he’s not confident or has no game,” but that’s not always the case. To me the whole concept of game and confidence
depends on the girl you’re talking to. For me, if I find her attractive in all aspects (not just looks) then I’m actually inspired to “step-up” my game and confidence, if I’m not I wont.
In my experience I’ve had some women who are beautiful, some who may not be considered so, but the relationships I’ve always felt were worth the pursuit and hastle were the ones that had some sort of MEANING, independent of the aesthetics. The aesthetics part might only be useful in the initial attraction. So if an Ethiopian guy doesn’t approach you in the way that you want him to, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s unconfident (especially
if he’s older and more mature), it might just be that he’s having more fun doing what he’s doing. Based on his experience, he might know that just because you’re attractive doesn’t mean you’re going to bring some new meaning or happiness into his life so in that moment, the most enjoyable thing to him might just be the company of his friends and that’s it. So don’t be so quick to disregard him as lacking something you’ve established as the epitome of manhood.
err …
the title says “how to ask ethiopian girls out?”
and the image is two white babies kissing?!
i’m clearly missing something here.
lol big time
because we had another image we lost when we moved servers
this is a year old… was suppose to be temp but since its old left it alone!
[quote comment="69748"]i am confused here. which ethiopian girls are we talking about because there are different type. for example we have the FOB’s, the ghetto want to be, the educated and uptight, or the down to earth westernized ones but have a sense of their culture . Because the way I see it, there are different rules that apply to these groups.[/quote]
and i have meet all kinds….at the end of the day they have one thing is common they need to be loved and respected( except some of ‘em)
My advice it to approch this datin’ game as a Suk bederete ya know it’s a business close to ya heart. BE open minded bout thing.
PS. “Procrastination is like Masturbation; it seems like a good idea at the time,but in the end you’re really only fuckin’ yourself.”
lol man lol
ETCHiller,
Great advice! I enjoyed reading your piece. Basically this dilemma is same for Ethio and non Ethio guys. You always have the guys who GET it and those that always struggle with it. To be successful you need a subconscious level of talent! If you don’t then you can always fantasize – see the quote about procrastination and masturbation. hahahha
Most habesh girls smell pungent like amonia. this is what i realy faced.
balege! abesha girls are clean, you might find a few that are not but not anymore than any other group of girls
[quote comment="57652"]LA,
Man, as a black American living here in the D.C. Area don’t I feel what you’re talking about. I find ethiopians here in D.C. to be very good people to talk to but the men are ultra-protective of their women and the women are ultra-defensive when being approached by a black American man. I honestly haven’t had any luck getting any of the women to open up to me.
But through a few solid rapports that I’ve developed with a few of the men I have been advised that I would have much better luck by taking a trip to Ethiopia to meet ethiopian women in contrast to trying to meet one here in Washington. My ethiopian male partners keep explaining to me that their women are very leery about meeting a black american man here in D.C. because they don’t know WHAT they’re getting. They don’t know if I’m a thug in disguise, they don’t know if I’m one of those down-low gay black men, they don’t know if I’m one of those who likes to beat on his woman, they are always “guarded” with black american men on our turf. But if I take a trip over there my chances will be MUCH better because they’ll pretty much know by me coming over there that I’m not a thug in disguise, that I’m an American brother who wants to w-o-r-k for a living and who is more likely to be a man who can provide for his woman.
I’m scheduled to go over to Addis Ababa in February, 2008, wish me luck. My sole reason for going is to find me an Ethiopian woman that I can marry.[/quote]
The very Ethiopian men WHO are giving YOU advice ABOUT how TO approach Ethiopian women are probably advising ETHIOPIAN women AGAINST dealing WITH YOU. IT happens, OFTEN. Ethiopian men(and men in general) will FORM an aquaintanceship or even friendship with YOU BUT do NOT THINK for ONE moment THIS will gain YOU access TO their women. IF you want to KNOW the TRUE colors of a MAN, show interest in an attractive woman from HIS race or culture, and observe HIS reaction. What people say in public and privately behind closed doors ARE sometimes two different THINGS, and YOU have to be aware of this.
Women can sense when a man IS predominately interested in them STRICTLY because of PHYSICAL characteristics, and this TENDS to turn THEM OFF. Unfortunately, a LOT of my AA brothers ACT as IF a beautiful woman (especially those who have an accent) do NOT have the intelligence TO discern the intentions of a man.
Women have great intuition and IF they have concluded THAT YOU, as an African-American man, are interested IN them as an ETHIOPIAN woman instead of As A WOMAN who happens TO BE ETHIOPIAN; They will NOT open up TO YOU simply because THEY can NOT TRUST your motives.
Georgia Library Man
You were being TESTED.
I would NOT have shared a laugh over this type of discussion. I don’t FIND the humour IN the suggestion OF impregating AN ETHIOPIAN woman or ANY woman BEFORE stepping FOOT on U.S soil. Do YOU honestly THINK this MAN would MAKE such a crude suggestion concerning HIS women without AN alterior motive ?
Instead of replying, “Gee WHiz” and laughing; you should have put homeboy in check.
It is incidences like this THAT reinforces the ignorance of AA men.
Georgia Library Man
[quote comment="74453"]Most habesh girls smell pungent like amonia. this is what i realy faced.[/quote]
The abesha women THAT I have dealt with smelled of.. fresh rose blossoms on a cool spring morning.
Georgia Library Man
lol georgia lol, enlighting indeed
How to Ask Ethiopian Girls Out?
With all due respect, there seems to be SO much pressure ON Ethiopians TO make a conscious EFFORT to maintain THEIR culture(in every enclave around the world outside ETHIOPIA) THAT sometimes IT get’s IN the way OF actually getting TO KNOW the true individual and forming deep intimate relationships.
There seems to be a schism in the community where ETHIOPIANS are caught between two cultures AND unwilling to acknowledge THAT they ARE just AS AMERICAN(or WESTERNIZED) as THEY are ETHIOPIAN.
This poses a problem because THE needs of BOTH halves(ETHIOPIAN and AMERICAN/WESTERN) must BE MET.
So, what happens as a result of this WHEN one begins TO date IN the ETHIO-community?
Ethiopian men and Ethiopian women are trying SO hard TO prove THAT they are TRUE ETHIOPIANS BY consciously stressing ETHIOPIAN culture OVER everything ELSE THAT they become like actors in a scripted play, pretending TO be something THAT they are NOT. The dates become a STAGE to show and judge HOW Ethiopian ONE IS, instead of a means TO enjoy ONESELF and to GET to KNOW ONE another.
As a consequence, BOTH ETHIOPIAN MEN and WOMEN seek relationships outside their culture and race, seeking out individuals where they can BE their true ethio-westernized selfs.
In order TO begin to address this dilemma, (Westernized)Ethiopians are going TO have to learn HOW to embrace BOTH sides of their heritage (Ethiopian and Western) and come TO grips THAT they are NO longer just LIKE the Ethiopians back HOME.
The best feeling IN the world IS when YOU can BE YOURSELF around someone WHO accepts YOU for WHO you ARE.
This is just an opinion and should be taken as such.
Georgia Library Man
Georgia Library Man, two thumbs up! You make a sister proud!
Thank you, Sis, I appreciate the compliment.
Georgia Library Man
hi,
my take on the initial article is that everyone completely deviates from the social rules (tradition, culture, etc) of asking someone out, saying/getting a “yah” or “nayh”, experiencing traumatic anxiety and depression, spending valuable time, … the list goes on, I say everyone simply makes an individual decision based on personal needs and information available at the time to make the decision to pursue a person of interest.
PS
this is coming from a psychologist
[quote comment="75444"]hi,
my take on the initial article is that everyone completely deviates from the social rules (tradition, culture, etc) of asking someone out, saying/getting a “yah” or “nayh”, experiencing traumatic anxiety and depression, spending valuable time, … the list goes on, I say everyone simply makes an individual decision based on personal needs and information available at the time to make the decision to pursue a person of interest.
PS
this is coming from a psychologist[/quote]
Im afaid THAT there are cultures THAT have specific social norms(without deviation) THAT dictates HOW someone should go about ASKING someone OUT. For EXAMPLE, the article’s answer TO the dating dilemma states:
Avoid a question the can be answered with a ‘NO’ as a negative! There are several ways to approach without bruising your ego. Ask her if she busy Friday night. She will most likely say ‘NO’ as she is prone to do and that she would most likely want to hear what you have in mind before she turns you down as she is prone to do. If she says ‘YES’ she is busy; you still have Saturday and Sunday. If she is busy the whole weekend she might actually be busy, so ask her again next week. I am open to hear some other ideas from the Don Juan Abebes.
In the United States, This type of behavior where a man asks a woman OUT and she say’s NO and He continues TO ask HER out, despite THE FACT that she has clearly rejected HIS overtures WITH a resounding NO, by law constitutes SEXUAL HARRASSMENT. Legally, a woman IN this situation can bring charges of sexual harrasment or stalking depending upon the circumstances.
As a psychologist, you should KNOW that case studies are often-times subject to interpretations.
Georgia Library Man
wey nolexxx, degmo sile set mawrat jemerk, beka adek aydellol
by the way I did not know u guys get so hurt and damaged when the girls reject you, lol jk
anyways u guys shouldnt be so fast to ask a girlout, 1st just be her friend, get to know her spend time with her, get some attachment and then…. you can think of other relation ship.
[quote comment="74560"][quote comment="57652"]
The very Ethiopian men WHO are giving YOU advice ABOUT how TO approach Ethiopian women are probably advising ETHIOPIAN women AGAINST dealing WITH YOU. IT happens, OFTEN. Ethiopian men(and men in general) will FORM an aquaintanceship or even friendship with YOU BUT do NOT THINK for ONE moment THIS will gain YOU access TO their women. IF you want to KNOW the TRUE colors of a MAN, show interest in an attractive woman from HIS race or culture, and observe HIS reaction. What people say in public and privately behind closed doors ARE sometimes two different THINGS, and YOU have to be aware of this. Women can sense when a man IS predominately interested in them STRICTLY because of PHYSICAL characteristics, and this TENDS to turn THEM OFF. Unfortunately, a LOT of my AA brothers ACT as IF a beautiful woman (especially those who have an accent) do NOT have the intelligence TO discern the intentions of a man. Women have great intuition and IF they have concluded THAT YOU, as an African-American man, are interested IN them as an ETHIOPIAN woman instead of As A WOMAN who happens TO BE ETHIOPIAN; They will NOT open up TO YOU simply because THEY can NOT TRUST your motives.
Georgia Library Man[/quote]
Who is this guy?
You make A TON of blanket statements regarding Ethiopian Men and if I were an ethiopian brother I’d be deeply offended by those kinds of generalizations. The way you’ve painted ethiopian men with that broad brush YOU MAKE THEM SOUND LIKE WHITE MEN. Now if you want to talk about white guys constantly “throwing salt in the game” or to put it a lot more bluntly “COCKBLOCKING” men outside their race with their women FINE, I’m feeling you, but to just say those kinds of things about ethiopian men in general I think is OUT-OF-LINE.
Have I met ethiopian men who gave me a vibe that they don’t believe in their women mixing with men outside of their race? ABSOLUTELY. But I’ve run across a number of these Cats who are just as OBJECTIVE as the day is long. The only concern they had when talking to me was the concern that a number of african-american men have regarding OUR WOMEN dating or marrying outside of their own culture: Will this man LOVE this woman?? Will this man care forthis woman??? Will this man protect this woman??? Will this man STAND BYthis woman??? And will this man do his best to PROVIDE for this woman???? If he talks like he just wants to “hit it and quit it” THEN YOU’VE GOT A PROBLEM.
So as far as you trying to convince anybody that you’re “inside the head” of every ethiopian man take a chill pill Bruh. You can’t speak for all those guys, only God can. Get a grip. Get a clue. Several of these ethiopian Cats that have taught me about their culture are like FAMILY to me. They really wouldn’t appreciate you saying these kinds of things regarding them and “their true intentions”.
[quote comment="74568"]
You were being TESTED. I would NOT have shared a laugh over this type of discussion. I don’t FIND the humour IN the suggestion OF impregating AN ETHIOPIAN woman or ANY woman BEFORE stepping FOOT on U.S soil. Do YOU honestly THINK this MAN would MAKE such a crude suggestion concerning HIS women without AN alterior motive ?
Instead of replying, “Gee WHiz” and laughing; you should have put homeboy in check.
It is incidences like this THAT reinforces the ignorance of AA men.
Georgia Library Man[/quote]
Hey Moral Majority, again take a chill pill. You’re not talking a guy who has any children whatsoever (in-wedlock nor out-of-wedlock) so before you come on here trying to explain to somebody how they should represent african-american culture PERHAPS you should know something about the person to begin with.
The Cat that made that comment is not anybody that I look to for any type of “real advice” on how I’m going to handle any life situation. He’s just a fraternity brother of mine who I shoot-the-breeze with from time to time. I wouldn’t “act on” his advice anymore than I would…………..YOURS quite honestly.
Relax Poindexter.
Isn’t Habishan s do missunderstand what the full meaning of Mamo Killo meant really? it don’t mean’t the fool, it only meant the smartest! now you would even say that isnt that really meant the great foolish man? Well hold, i guess Gash Mamo was teaching what had been a non noticed, prhphes for some uneducated habeshans at the time, he was explaining the math how and of what jockiies you could hold the drink with, well only a grrat and a brilliant somone like is brave enogh ott put up the time to helping people that all accross the contnents!!!
Just explaining things out, that to reach out the ethiopian community because somtimes and so many times i hear and notice so many dirty movments that you dont one to do.
…..like…..ones up on the time the wasps went to fighting the fire that out of their won agressive behavior and thaT like the fire was a living thing, however what this wasps done is thaT they were jumOping in to the fire to fight it; the wasps have a bity thoght like human like and that the know and want to putting a MaddamOsile scarf. Well they thoght the fire was a scarf and the fire itself was who is weqring it that they want to wearing on the fire or stealing it and leave, however that they dont just burne that there is some incarnations, same wasps were coming in behind that they have the enemy wasps that they had worked so hard for in years so that them other wasps weould live them along, however so when the time goes round and clocking round this wasps came back and that it turned out naturally the enemy wasps are at the througn that they were going to dommnate theis camde back ones again anD AGAIN, sadely thogh them enemmy wasps also had invited the Keletat Andknes which is the fox, this time they wouldnt even servive in any manners; however that better than the fire the reasons why the fox was mad is that she came back to the fire with out any wild food because her life was seat to oprating her life in, that the fire has to be protected so well thaT OTHER WISE SHE COULDNT EVEN HUE ANY OF THE ANIMALS THAT SHE COULD HANT…….
That in the name of the holy one!
Queen Cliopatra J Elvis Presely!
…
^^huh??
[quote comment="92164"]^^huh??[/quote]
lol… huh? is right. maria, did you write that in your sleep or what? you must be a cuckooooo
hi dawitm yet new yemtnorew?
Here is my first input,(I’m Ethiopian Male in my early 30’s)
All of the relationships I’ve been in have started by me not showing to much interest in the girl. Meaning I meat these girls and I’m not really crazy about them but I just want to get to know them. Then one thing leads to another we end up in a relationship.
On the other hand. I’ve never been with a girl that I was attracted to from the beginning. I start to panic from fear of rejection because I will say the wrong thing and then I will end up saying the wrong thing. I guess my point is when you’re attracted to a girl you shouldn’t show it from the start. You have to act like you’re meeting another guy who happens to have the same interest. This way you’re not going to fear rejection or have problems on what to say. It’s very hard for a girl to reject you from the beginning if she don’t have anything to turn down. Like some people have said in previous posts, don’t ask question that will give the girl an opportunity to say no. This is hard to do but for example you can say something like “me and my friends are going to see this Ethiopian show or (Movie) you should bring your Friends it sounds like it will be an interesting show or movie” It’s hard to say no for a request like this. She will probably say oh really where is it at or I will think about it. Then when you see her at the show don’t act to excited but comely say hey I’m glad you showed up and offer to buy her and her Friends a drink and talk about the show. Then go back to your Friends. After all you’re not there to see her but to see the show with your friends. I hope this tip will help someone.
I like this site and I hope more and more Ethiopian girls will post comments so that we can better understand each other.
Dehna deru
hi,
well u know the thing is the Ethiopian girls in general are tied up with a lot of cultural influence ,so it is not surprising to see if they are ‘megederder’…
any way ,focusing on the guys ,i think it is our problem not thier if we are unable to win some heart.as far as i know every girl don’t like some one who is clingy,predictable,and sensitive….
And most guys believe that they have to entertain the on they date by buying gift and you know paying for lunch.haven’t u wondered why all the time u meet a girl that u date the guy has to pay for the invitation ?most guys think it is the way to do it but u know what she think…she think this guy has nothing to offer than his pocket.
so i think the real difference is that not with the girls..it is from us .
One thing i have learned so far and applying is that never ever get serious or have intention of relationship if you are not sure about her or having doubt about her( i think this apply for all ladies not just for abesha women). because you will get bored or lose focus after a while and the end doesn’t look good. but if you think you find the one and see she have a little interest too, pursue her and let her know she is the one. and so far as i witnessed there is a higher success rate of getting YES from her.
Just quick question you talk about how to ask Ethiopian girls out” but why on earth would put two white babies kissing at least make them Black kids.
[quote comment="98991"]Just quick question you talk about how to ask Ethiopian girls out” but why on earth would put two white babies kissing at least make them Black kids.[/quote]
[quote comment="70026"]err …
the title says “how to ask ethiopian girls out?”
and the image is two white babies kissing?!
i’m clearly missing something here.[/quote]
mito
[quote comment="70140"]lol big time
because we had another image we lost when we moved servers
this is a year old… was suppose to be temp but since its old left it alone![/quote]
I think that is a cool pic cuz u know it will kill the sex tension we have on the topic. Babies are so nice!!!!
By the way may I forward one typical question for discussion? , what is the difference between Ethiopian girls and European girls in general when it comes to the topic sex, relationship. And the way they respond when they are asked for relationship?
[sings]
maria mariaaaaaa
she remind me of a weed high storyyy
growin’ up around gulele homegrown
she livin’ the life just like a stogie staaaaar
oooh maria mariaaaa
she fell in love with weeds one day
to the sound of mamo qillo
played by ababa tesfayeeee
[insert santana solo]
[end song]
sorry ,can any one understand the relation of this song with the tiltle we are talking about ?
Dating an Ethiopian girl,is now a days becom a flower investment(To beginaflower investment you need to have a good begining capital),so you need to have strong potential regarding money.
that is not true!!!!!!!!!! but can not say that it doesn’t exist
Here’re a couple things I can say about dating Ethioipian women. Let’em lead you in to a relationship. Always be less interested in the relationship than they are, atleast be a good actor if you can’t be. If she want some space, give her more space than she asked for. When you ask her out if she wants to be only a close friend, make her only a friend(not even a best close). Let her know what she’s missing out on.
If she tries to make you jealous by hanging out with other dudes, act normal to her and take a couple spanish babes to a ragaetone party. Just in general let her judge her own action. Let her be the one trying to put the relationship together. If she doesn’t try to put it together, that shiit ain’t gonna work. You betta not rely on that r/nship, it’d be just a waste of your time. You can make her your partner, but don’t bother about considering her for a serious r/nship.
If she does something constructive for the relationship, show her that you recognize it. I didn’t say to tell her, show her. Take her out to a fancy restaurant and make her feel good or somthin,.
That’s my input to the subject.
I agree with the ignore her part but wuz up with the treat her right bull? Most Habesha girls want a daddy figure that will do everything but wipe her ass and some may request that too.
Whenever Habesha people get together the biggest topic is about our women. Why is that? Did or do we ever realize there are other nationalities that will do right by us without all the ass wiping.
Regardless of the ass wiping have a Merry Christmas
Why would I need to ask an Ethiopian girl out, if you have a nice car they just walk right in, and if you have a nice house they just move right in. They don’t even ask you out. The only thing they might ask you is if you have another women in your life.
Did one find herself into your car and home yet?
Hidaya, no one had not not find her self in my home yet, becase MY mom lives with me, but a lot walk into my life with really caring about how I feel. When I say to a girl I love you it does not mean I want be commited to you. I think Ethiopian girls find that hard to understand.
BiniB, I think it comes down to the fact that it has to be communicated that there is no commitment in a relationship and what expectatiosn there might be,on both sides, if you dont you might just get yourself mis-understood and have girlfriends finding their way into your car and home and wont you have to crystal clear then?…so why not do it before it reaches that stage?,if you do it and it isnt heard i run out of ideas as to what to do..call the police for being stalked into car and home or something along those lines…
… or you ride the bus or lock the doors to that nice car of yours…
You might try not telling her you “love” her as well! Just a though…
BTW love w/o commitment is an interesting concept but I don’t think it exists or are we talking about the words uttered during the Mac here?
I think with love there are always expectations unless otherwise stated specifically, but love without commintment I think might be another way of saying playing the field or sowing one’s proverbial oats or experimenting or going back to playing the field…if so it is easier all round if both people are aware that it is on that basis before cars and homes get involved….
What is there not to love about 8 out of 10, Ethiopian girls that are about the same age as I am. If they ask me do you love me? ofcourse I am going to say yes I love you. But what they don’t seem to undersand is I will probably say the same thing to other girls. And it kind of comes as a surprise to them that their might be other girls in my life.
BiniB:
Yeah those b^tches.. how dare they believe what YOU tell them? I’m totally w/ you man.
So tell me why do you suppose they want you for your nice car or house? Dem ho’s! Do you suppose it may have something to do w/ the fact all that comes out of your mouth are lies & you have nothing to offer aside from the financial? Nothing about YOU appears to be appealing to them. If all you offer is a facade then why blame the girls for only looking at the superficial? They are just biting on what you are offering…
Anyways, you know what they say – a lie told often enough become truth. So be careful not to spread too much of this nonsense. You might fall victim to own lie one day & fall in “love” w/ the wrong one.
I think every lie you tell infects your soul & besides Karma is a biatch! Other than that have at it bro – just don’t complain they love your car more than you. It’s just simple economics – the car is worth more than your empty “love”.
BTW what kinda car is it? Just don’t say a Totoya Corola PLZ!
I don’t know how many of you guys live in the US, but I do. And the problem is that a lot of our Ethiopian sisters don’t seem to understand how it is easy for any one to buy a house have nice car just by scruing up your criedit histroy. After they move in, have kids and all they realise your credit history. They figher they were probaly better off being on their own. After that all you have is argumets after argumets.
BiniB:
Are you sure you live in the US? scruing, criedit histroy, realise, figher, probaly, argumets, argumets… If you say so… Oh well…
Eshi be’ka… have a wonderful new year!
I am kind of tired of guys that try to tell me how to aproch women, but they do it a lot. Honesty I don’t think they know what the hell they are talking about. So I am asking all the Ethiopian sisters that are going to read this. 1. How did a guy ended up having sex with you? simply how did you meet him, how did he suduct you, Last but not list what did he do to make you enjoy the exprince?
BiniB your problem isnt being too polite is it? ..You dont have to reply “yes” if something you are asked ie, if “you love a girl” one of many I mean by your own admission you feel isnt too true. That is too polite infact so polite it becomes rude, because your reply isnt truthful and that is pretty rude especially if it is at someone’s expense who might take you up on it….
Why not put your cards on the table and mention your 8 out of something girls whom you also agree with?….I dont think many would hang around by the time other girlies get mentioned..or is the walk on mass of girls you are trying to avoid by not saying it how it is?….oh what is wrong with clarity though seriously dont you like it?…it saves such hassles as well…
[quote comment="112270"]BiniB your problem isnt being too polite is it? ..You dont have to reply “yes” if something you are asked ie, if “you love a girl” one of many I mean by your own admission you feel isnt too true. That is too polite infact so polite it becomes rude, because your reply isnt truthful and that is pretty rude especially if it is at someone’s expense who might take you up on it….
Why not put your cards on the table and mention your 8 out of something girls whom you also agree with?….I dont think many would hang around by the time other girlies get mentioned..or is the walk on mass of girls you are trying to avoid by not saying it how it is?….oh what is wrong with clarity though seriously dont you like it?…it saves such hassles as well…[/quo
Well I know it’s worng to say I love you to a girl, When you, your self don’t really know what it’s that your felling for her. But I am not sure how I feel about you, but I want to have sex with you, line never seem to work in the real life, in geting you what you want, from a girl.
Entertaining.
http://www.abesha.wordpress.com
[quote comment="112270"]BiniB your problem isnt being too polite is it? ..You dont have to reply “yes” if something you are asked ie, if “you love a girl” one of many I mean by your own admission you feel isnt too true. That is too polite infact so polite it becomes rude, because your reply isnt truthful and that is pretty rude especially if it is at someone’s expense who might take you up on it….
Why not put your cards on the table and mention your 8 out of something girls whom you also agree with?….I dont think many would hang around by the time other girlies get mentioned..or is the walk on mass of girls you are trying to avoid by not saying it how it is?….oh what is wrong with clarity though seriously dont you like it?…it saves such hassles as well…
I was not just talking about my owen personal exprience, I was also talking about the experience of my brothers and friends, and I have to say I agree with them, becase I had very simlar expriences.
The title says “How to ask an Ethiopian girls out” But that should not have been a topic, that is not so difficult to answer. As you could read from up top it seem a lot of guys, have something to say about it. But the title should have been How Ethiopian girls need to learn how to say No.And not wast our perishes time. For example today I asked a girl if she wants to go to the gym with me, becase she talks about working out all the time. But she replied, she has to go home and pay her bills. I fighered it does not take more than an hour to write a check and called her 2 hours latter to find out is she want to go to the gym now then she saied she had to help her brother with his home work, the list goes on and on. I had to give a ride to my mom, I have to go to work, I have to study for a test. Notice she was not realy answering my question. My question was, do you want to go to the gym. Not do you have a free time to go to the gym. She knows I was asking her out on a date, and she was trying to turn me down in a polite way. I had to find out this the hard way, after having to ask a girl I was intersted in for 2 years, somtimes she says, yes lets go, most times she had excuses. So what I am trying to say is , girls please don’t wast our time, if you are not intersted just say no, I don’t want to go to the gym with you, today, tommorow or ever!!!!! Don’t make excuses becase some of us are naive enogh to belive your excuses.
BiniB,
Cheer up, it is a brand new year where everything is new and possible, even for a girl to say either yes or no and mean it and stick to it the first time, or the sixth whichever, then again you cant really ask for much can you, since you are not always truthful and since you have that list of other girls whom you never disclose….Happy New Year
It is Thrusday afternoon I just got home from school after my half day class in University of St. Mary Leavenworth Kansas, I came through this discussion right after I removed all my Ethiopian male and female friends from my yahoo and msn messangers, I am really tired of dealing with Ethiopian way of life not with a people, however hard to separate the way of life and the people somehow…dating Ethiopian girl is like starting from scratch to be a millioner at age of 90, I am not talking about a lottory or Casino working for a million is my point.
The Ethiopian way of treating each other is added to the American way of being mean to a man and mad things more complicated, blaming guys for what they have done or what they haven’t even though about is the new fashion of both life styles mixing Ethiopian girls, out there so many professional Ethiopian men but never been good enough for our selfish women whom live in Western world…..what is a soluting?
Are Nigerians, Ganians and African Americans taking a good care of Ethiopian girls to be accepted as the best men of their lives? well from what I have seen absolutly no….those girls whom hung out or date none Ethiopian guys are indangered several times here in the Western world, A southern Sudanese guy who used to date Ethiopian girl have removed her face skin and left her with out face when he found out that she was talking to another man.From familly of Dr. Senaye Like, a girl who used to date a black mad shoot to death on red light in Washington DC. a girl who married to Nigerian guy was disapeared from her house from Miami Florida leaving behind 3 of her children, no body know where she is….I guess they deserve all that…I really am tired of the stupid way of Ethiopian girls acting, while they are not even professionals, no school no money no manor no honesty. what do you think you deserve when you are nothing but an empty balloon? Guys also need to date diffrent races leaving behind our stupid way of thinking that Ethiopian girls are the best……while they are nothing more than tools of sufering.
^Holly Molly!
[quote comment="114197"]It is Thrusday afternoon I just got home from school after my half day class in University of St. Mary Leavenworth Kansas, I came through this discussion right after I removed all my Ethiopian male and female friends from my yahoo and msn messangers, I am really tired of dealing with Ethiopian way of life not with a people, however hard to separate the way of life and the people somehow…dating Ethiopian girl is like starting from scratch to be a millioner at age of 90, I am not talking about a lottory or Casino working for a million is my point.
The Ethiopian way of treating each other is added to the American way of being mean to a man and mad things more complicated, blaming guys for what they have done or what they haven’t even though about is the new fashion of both life styles mixing Ethiopian girls, out there so many professional Ethiopian men but never been good enough for our selfish women whom live in Western world…..what is a soluting?
Are Nigerians, Ganians and African Americans taking a good care of Ethiopian girls to be accepted as the best men of their lives? well from what I have seen absolutly no….those girls whom hung out or date none Ethiopian guys are indangered several times here in the Western world, A southern Sudanese guy who used to date Ethiopian girl have removed her face skin and left her with out face when he found out that she was talking to another man.From familly of Dr. Senaye Like, a girl who used to date a black mad shoot to death on red light in Washington DC. a girl who married to Nigerian guy was disapeared from her house from Miami Florida leaving behind 3 of her children, no body know where she is….I guess they deserve all that…I really am tired of the stupid way of Ethiopian girls acting, while they are not even professionals, no school no money no manor no honesty. what do you think you deserve when you are nothing but an empty balloon? Guys also need to date diffrent races leaving behind our stupid way of thinking that Ethiopian girls are the best……while they are nothing more than tools of sufering.[/quote]
It sounds to me like you got dumbed by Ethiopian girl, but there is some truth to what you said, No school, No Money, Mo Manor, No Honesty, But you know what Ethiopian girls don’t need all that becase they are just that beatiful. And you know what else if you leave the Geto yourself you will see there are a lot of Profesinal Ethipian girls and women out there.
[quote comment="114172"]BiniB,
Cheer up, it is a brand new year where everything is new and possible, even for a girl to say either yes or no and mean it and stick to it the first time, or the sixth whichever, then again you cant really ask for much can you, since you are not always truthful and since you have that list of other girls whom you never disclose….Happy New Year[/quote]
Happy New Year to you too, but I think you premissjuded me, I was not just talking about myself I was also talking about the experince of other guys around me.
did mr. dc ethio curious find his soul mate yet??? I admire your resolve man, but I have to say this whole discussion made me realize there are not monastery candidates anymore. It seems no one can be happy without a relationship, money, security, aka the american dream as advertised. When I was in ethiopia the people I was around were religious and character was definitely more valued than beauty. This is why now in america I can’t even tell what an ethiopian is any more because to me an ethiopian ideally is someone who is considerate, loves God, family, responsible, honorable, etc… but here we have assimilated into a culture that prides individuality, if we had been the makeup of ethiopia when it was attacked back in the day, our unchecked individualism and atheism would leave us as slaves and concubines to the europeans or arabs. What makes us special is not our skin or beauty, if you’re open minded you can appreciate stunning beauty everywhere i think. I think what makes us special like I said is this ability to treat each other with respect, love and genuine brotherhood. I miss the days when people treated you like you were more important than them, I appreciate my friends from back in the day more now as I see we are ‘outgrowing’ those things that I find beautiful. Now we are stuck here searching for love, but what is love without commitment, marriage, family, charity, and selfless sacrifice. Maybe i’ve been reading the bible too long, but to me those are the things that make me feel like a man. Not dating around and burning out emotionally, and losing the innocence and power of unconditional love. Now i’m gonna go have a good ol’ nostalgic cry with my photo album,
maybe I should go join a monastery
mr. nobody
BiniB
I am sorry you think I have misjudged you, in my defence I would like to say that I havent. Judging should be left to judges and other wise people and that too, after they get to know the people they are judging. I lay no claim to be either.
What I did though was give you a scenario where you perhaps get what you put in a relationship, any human relationship. And if you are vague about what kind of relationship you want and how many girls you want to date, then perhaps you are not as hard done by as you sound. I hope you dont think I am misjudging you with this comment too, because I am not..
BiniB
I am sorry you think I have misjudged you, in my defence I would like to say that I havent. Judging should be left to judges and other wise people and that too, after they get to know the people they are judging. I lay no claim to be either.
What I did though was give you a scenario where you perhaps get what you put in a relationship, any human relationship. And if you are vague about what kind of relationship you want and how many girls you want to date, then perhaps you are not as hard done by as you sound. I hope you dont think I am misjudging you with this comment too, because I am not..[/quote]
Personaly I don’t think there is nothing “wrong” with dating more than one women at a time, back in the day people even got married to more than one women. And Muslems, mormons and many other religions still do it. I am not saying that is what I want for myself, I want a very simple life, I don’t think I can handle more than one women, unless I am a billionar. Beside my father was a one women men and I love him for it. And the reason why I am vegue about what kind of relationship I want and how many girls I want to date is becase what I want is ussually rude to most girls, and I don’t want to hurt their feeling by being too honest. I had a girl that told me you are to honest, and I wish you would just lie to me somtimes.
Personaly I don’t think there is nothing “wrong” with dating more than one women at a time, back in the day people even got married to more than one women. And Muslems, mormons and many other religions still do it. I am not saying that is what I want for myself, I want a very simple life, I don’t think I can handle more than one women, unless I am a billionar. Beside my father was a one women men and I love him for it. And the reason why I am vegue about what kind of relationship I want and how many girls I want to date is becase what I want is ussually rude to most girls, and I don’t want to hurt their feeling by being too honest. I had a girl that told me you are to honest, and I wish you would just lie to me somtimes.
[quote comment="114488"]Personaly I don’t think there is nothing “wrong” with dating more than one women at a time, back in the day people even got married to more than one women. And Muslems, mormons and many other religions still do it. I am not saying that is what I want for myself, I want a very simple life, I don’t think I can handle more than one women, unless I am a billionar. Beside my father was a one women men and I love him for it. .[/quote]
BiniB,
I didnt mention right or wrong, I know that one person’s right is another’s wrong or vice versa,and it is a big world and to each its own, but the women you are dating should be made aware that your preference is to date few of them at the same time and solely for one purpose, that way they can take an informed decision as to whether to agree with the arrangenment you are offering or not and that way everyone knows where they stand.
Moreover it will make you blame and recrimination free zone incase the agreement with your girlfriend of the moment falters and she decides to claim you exclusively, you can take the moral high ground by reminding her of the honesty conversation and that you had made yourself clear and that she agreed with it at the time and then can you and her can go ahead and revise the situation as you both see fit.
There is rude and then there is ruder, it’s all a question of degrees. Once again one person’s rude may be another’s complimentary all depending of course what one is seeking from dating,but have you thought that ruder still would be to lead someone on, or to not clarify for them what the basis of your relationship is and even when and if asked to be how shall I put this quaintly without offending you?…economical with the truth?…and just because a girl asked you to lie to her in reality it shouldnt stop you not lying or misleading her. When the infatuation for you is over she will appreciate your honesty more that she would would have done being misled. being honest with someone is to be respectful of them even if the honesty hurts at the time….
How can you be respectful and honest at the same time. What if My honesty is I really am not ready to share My life with her, don’t even trust her. But I just want to go out on dates with her, and go to nice places with her, lust with her but not be commited to her, and being comited to her is not even in my list of things to do, for the up comming 10 years. Do you think I have what it takes to tell her that sraight up, and expect her to stick around. I don’t want my sister to go out with someone like that, but at the same time I think it’s my sisters responsiblity to control her desire and chose the kind of guys she wants to go out with.
[quote comment="114765"][quote comment="114488"]Personaly I don’t think there is nothing “wrong” with dating more than one women at a time, back in the day people even got married to more than one women. And Muslems, mormons and many other religions still do it. I am not saying that is what I want for myself, I want a very simple life, I don’t think I can handle more than one women, unless I am a billionar. Beside my father was a one women men and I love him for it. .[/quote]
BiniB,
I didnt mention right or wrong, I know that one person’s right is another’s wrong or vice versa,and it is a big world and to each its own, but the women you are dating should be made aware that your preference is to date few of them at the same time and solely for one purpose, that way they can take an informed decision as to whether to agree with the arrangenment you are offering or not and that way everyone knows where they stand.
Moreover it will make you blame and recrimination free zone incase the agreement with your girlfriend of the moment falters and she decides to claim you exclusively, you can take the moral high ground by reminding her of the honesty conversation and that you had made yourself clear and that she agreed with it at the time and then can you and her can go ahead and revise the situation as you both see fit.
There is rude and then there is ruder, it’s all a question of degrees. Once again one person’s rude may be another’s complimentary all depending of course what one is seeking from dating,but have you thought that ruder still would be to lead someone on, or to not clarify for them what the basis of your relationship is and even when and if asked to be how shall I put this quaintly without offending you?…economical with the truth?…and just because a girl asked you to lie to her in reality it shouldnt stop you not lying or misleading her. When the infatuation for you is over she will appreciate your honesty more that she would would have done being misled. being honest with someone is to be respectful of them even if the honesty hurts at the time….[/quote]
I am no expert but I think respect and honesty may not be mutually exclusive to each other. And I am sure girls and women old enough to date in every corner of the world are aware that some men they date want to take them home to mama and some others dont from then on it is up to them which to go for, so if you dont want to take her home just make it crystal clear from the beginning. It is easier to do so at this point than when expectations are made of you because you didnt state the nature of your relationship beforehand…
I find it interesting you dont want your sister to go out with a guy like you,it seems even you dissaprove of your dating ways but, the girls you date have brothers and father and friends who adore them as much as you love your sister do they not?…why not treat them in a way you would want your sister to be treated?, that would be a tribute to fair dealing and your own sister wouldnt it?…
Hidaya, You missed my whole point, What I was tying to say it that even if my sister is dating, a kind of guy that is not offering her any future. I am not going to tell her to stop seeing him. I expect her to make her owen wise destions. Besides introducing a girl to your mom doesn’t really mean any thing. I know it means a lot to most girls, but I brake up wiht one girl 2 weeks after I took her home to my Moms. Any ways why are you puting me on the spot light, haven’t you ever dated more than one man at once?
BiniB
Do you think I missed your point? maybe so, but lets see what you actually said;
You said that even if your sister was dating someone who wasnt offering her a long term commitment you would expect her to arrive to take a wise decision of her own as to what to do.
And I say to you that wise decision making can only happen when a person, and that goes for your sister or any other girl or even guys is informed fully of all the knowledge they need to arrive to that conclusion which would be a fully informed position, any other decision they take based on what is misinformation or a half information becomes a decison taken under false pretences which means they might have taken a different decisons if they had all the facts Now do you see my point?…
Taking a girl home to mama or even taking a boy home to mother is just an expression to indicate commitment or the beginning of it. It might not always mean anything to everyone but many people they take who they think they are going to be for a long time to meet their parents,not any old riff raff from anyhwere. It is a symbolic act.
As for dating two men at once, categorically No is my reply to you, the strict rules I adhere to are; one relationship at the time, it is much nicer and esier to not have to wonder what is done when your back is turned for both man and woman in the relationship,or to be one in a long line of dates plus some of us are boringly monogomous, it is a big world though and it can contain all of us can it not?
[quote comment="115403"]BiniB
As for dating two men at once, categorically No is my reply to you, the strict rules I adhere to are; one relationship at the time, it is much nicer and esier to not have to wonder what is done when your back is turned for both man and woman in the relationship,or to be one in a long line of dates plus some of us are boringly monogomous, it is a big world though and it can contain all of us can it not?[/quote]
Ok, if you only date only one person at a time, what is the longest relationship you have been in too? And what if that relationship didn’t work out? Don’t you feel cheated for all the years you spent with that person?
[quote comment="114370"]did mr. dc ethio curious find his soul mate yet??? I admire your resolve man, but I have to say this whole discussion made me realize there are not monastery candidates anymore. It seems no one can be happy without a relationship, money, security, aka the american dream as advertised. When I was in ethiopia the people I was around were religious and character was definitely more valued than beauty. maybe I should go join a monastery
mr. nobody[/quote]
Naw, haven’t found my soulmate just yet but am still searching. You want to know the killing thing? Just had a discussion with my co-worker yesterday, he’s an african-american brother who’s happily married but he has several partners of his who are both married and single that he hangs out with here in the D.C. Area and he made the comment “Man you know when I hang out with my fellas at some of the local bars from time-to-time on guys-night-out I always encounter these ethiopian Sistas, other african Sistas or african-american Sistas who work in the area as waitresses, or clerks at the local 7-Eleven, or as bartenders or in some other low-paying job and I NEVER ENCOUNTER ONE WHO IS SINGLE. African and African-American men jump on these low-paid Sistas and lock them up LIKE BEES ON HONEY, like flies on a corpse, like ducks on a june bug. But I consistently encounter high-paid Sistas, african and african-american WHO ARE AS BY THEMSELVES AS THEY CAN BE. Guys just ain’t feeling these highly-educated, high-paid, demanding and materialistic Sistas. They shun women like that like they carry the AIDS virus or something.”
He had a very valid point. I think the lower status black woman has a much better shot at matrimony in America. Sad but true.
BiniB,
Relationships sometimes dont work out for many reasons, either someone runs out of love or start loving other people sometimes both people might run out of love, other times one or two people might outgrow each other, but in the beginning at some point there must have been love and trust and honesty right?..so when it ends however it ends feeling cheated would negate when things were good and all the things you gained in that relationship and the times when was love and friendship…good and bad come with relationships and unless they were really really unforgetabbly bad ones when they end no one has to take it to the Bitter end note…it can just end and most things do eventually.
DC Curios: I’m curios are you on crack or just naturally this stupid? You are one insecure mf!
DC: why not adopt a different perspective for change. See things a little differently. Who shuns whom, for instance? You claim, the brothers shun the sistas. I would claim its the other way arround. It’s the sista I see taking responsibility for herself and her family. In America, you and I know, its the brotha that needs more straighting out than the sistas.
And if you and your home boyz are digging what you call ‘low status’ black women, it shows how you measure your-self worth. Your self-worth is low brotha.
And just cause you see them work at ‘lowly’ retail, don’t assume thats all they are doing. Have some respect for the work people do to live life.
[quote comment="115886"]BiniB,
Relationships sometimes dont work out for many reasons, either someone runs out of love or start loving other people sometimes both people might run out of love, other times one or two people might outgrow each other, but in the beginning at some point there must have been love and trust and honesty right?..so when it ends however it ends feeling cheated would negate when things were good and all the things you gained in that relationship and the times when was love and friendship…good and bad come with relationships and unless they were really really unforgetabbly bad ones when they end no one has to take it to the Bitter end note…it can just end and most things do eventually.[/quote]
Yes that is true most things in life come to an end, But what a depressing thing to say. And that is why sometimes I tell girls, that I love them even though I don’t. Because I don’t really know how our relationship is going to end, and I want them to enjoy the romantic moment. Hey u know what Even sex, comes to an end, when the guy gets his orgasm, But not with me I will go down on her just to make sure she gets hers too.
[quote comment="1027"]I dothink so Ethiopian man have good tertment for women and get good chance to ask her permition
I rember one day i meet ethiopin guy with out nuting asked me to date him at first time, how come i told him ant ymman far nhe aleket because you do not know about me at first time to ask me like that
what do you think about this?[/quote]
sister , i know what you were going through .
some ethiopian guys donot have the patience to get to know you. they
want that pussy badly and they will have no shame to ask for that pussy.
They must know there is more to a woman than just pussy and tits.
[quote comment="1027"]I dothink so Ethiopian man have good tertment for women and get good chance to ask her permition
I rember one day i meet ethiopin guy with out nuting asked me to date him at first time, how come i told him ant ymman far nhe aleket because you do not know about me at first time to ask me like that
what do you think about this?[/quote]
sister , i know what you were going through .
some ethiopian guys donot have the patience to get to know you. they
want that pussy badly and they will have no shame to ask for that pussy.
They must know there is more to a woman than just pussy and tits . shame.
[quote comment="114197"]It is Thrusday afternoon I just got home from school after my half day class in University of St. Mary Leavenworth Kansas, I came through this discussion right after I removed all my Ethiopian male and female friends from my yahoo and msn messangers, I am really tired of dealing with Ethiopian way of life not with a people, however hard to separate the way of life and the people somehow…dating Ethiopian girl is like starting from scratch to be a millioner at age of 90, I am not talking about a lottory or Casino working for a million is my point.
The Ethiopian way of treating each other is added to the American way of being mean to a man and mad things more complicated, blaming guys for what they have done or what they haven’t even though about is the new fashion of both life styles mixing Ethiopian girls, out there so many professional Ethiopian men but never been good enough for our selfish women whom live in Western world…..what is a soluting?
Are Nigerians, Ganians and African Americans taking a good care of Ethiopian girls to be accepted as the best men of their lives? well from what I have seen absolutly no….those girls whom hung out or date none Ethiopian guys are indangered several times here in the Western world, A southern Sudanese guy who used to date Ethiopian girl have removed her face skin and left her with out face when he found out that she was talking to another man.From familly of Dr. Senaye Like, a girl who used to date a black mad shoot to death on red light in Washington DC. a girl who married to Nigerian guy was disapeared from her house from Miami Florida leaving behind 3 of her children, no body know where she is….I guess they deserve all that…I really am tired of the stupid way of Ethiopian girls acting, while they are not even professionals, no school no money no manor no honesty. what do you think you deserve when you are nothing but an empty balloon? Guys also need to date diffrent races leaving behind our stupid way of thinking that Ethiopian girls are the best……while they are nothing more than tools of sufering.[/quote]
How can you spread such kind of divisive talk about non ethiopians ?
i know an ethiopian guy who cut his friend’s throat and was jailed for it.
it is called domestic violence. Assholes like the ones you mentioned above
are everywhere.ASSHOLES come in different nationalities.
bad people are everywhere wether they are ethiopian or not.wake up and smell
the coffee. My advice to our sisters (or all good women infact ) is if they know the person they are seeing is an asshole it is best to take the nearest exite out of that relation . women need to know they donot need men necessarly to have good lives and they can be singles and lead a happy life if they choose too. Fortunatley , not all guys
are assholes and i have seen many guys who threat women the rightway.
What is the whole point? Beautiful Ethiopian girls are easy to date if you are “woyala” or act like “woyala”. Unfortunately they like that kind of character. If you are a honest and show some love … they play hard to get them.
The beautiful girls in Addis are more often dated by ‘woyalas’ than other professionals. I know I am not making a point here if you don’t know what I mean.
Good people
To look for some one to depend on outside of yourself is a form of desire.
And desire is the root cause of of human suffering. We should all do our best
to be independent and self relaint. It is ok to have a lover if one shows up in
your life but to go out and seek for one is a form of suffering. Because each one
of us are perfect without any outside attachment .We are capable of being happy
just as we are with out depending on any one else. I know it isnot as simple as it sound but there is truth in it .To use a Bddhist phrase they say ” FIND BUT DONOT SEEK ” . There is A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FINDING A LOVER AND SEEKING A LOVER .These
great Buddhist masters of the past are way ahead of us on this subject of Desire and
i am sure we can benefit alot by reading their works on Desire and life in general. IF A lover shows up in your life accept it with grace but if not donot lose sleep over it .
THANX
[quote comment="116579"]Good people
To look for some one to depend on outside of yourself is a form of desire.
And desire is the root cause of of human suffering. We should all do our best
to be independent and self relaint. It is ok to have a lover if one shows up in
your life but to go out and seek for one is a form of suffering. Because each one
of us are perfect without any outside attachment .We are capable of being happy
just as we are with out depending on any one else. I know it isnot as simple as it sound but there is truth in it .To use a Bddhist phrase they say ” FIND BUT DONOT SEEK ” . There is A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FINDING A LOVER AND SEEKING A LOVER .These
great Buddhist masters of the past are way ahead of us on this subject of Desire and
i am sure we can benefit alot by reading their works on Desire and life in general. IF A lover shows up in your life accept it with grace but if not donot lose sleep over it .
THANX[/quote]
It’s sounds nice put in words, but how can you be happy by your self, you mean Sega, (Masrbestion)?
[quote comment="115886"]BiniB,
Relationships sometimes dont work out for many reasons, either someone runs out of love or start loving other people sometimes both people might run out of love, other times one or two people might outgrow each other, but in the beginning at some point there must have been love and trust and honesty right?..so when it ends however it ends feeling cheated would negate when things were good and all the things you gained in that relationship and the times when was love and friendship…good and bad come with relationships and unless they were really really unforgetabbly bad ones when they end no one has to take it to the Bitter end note…it can just end and most things do eventually.[/quot
You saied somting really smart, I been thinking about it a lot, growing up in a religous family I was tought about, things like eternal life, and take it hard on myself when things come to an end, like when someone dies, I feel like it was not the right time and it should not have ended, or when relationships end. But when you think about it in the life that I know, most things had come to and end.
this is cool,guys.i really am looking forward the day we willchat freely about everything.everything…..you see…i like it like that
[quote comment="115956"]DC Curios: I’m curios are you on crack or just naturally this stupid? You are one insecure mf![/quote]
Yeah f–k you too.
[quote comment="116070"]DC: why not adopt a different perspective for change. See things a little differently. Who shuns whom, for instance? You claim, the brothers shun the sistas. I would claim its the other way arround. It’s the sista I see taking responsibility for herself and her family. In America, you and I know, its the brotha that needs more straighting out than the sistas. And if you and your home boyz are digging what you call ‘low status’ black women, it shows how you measure your-self worth. Your self-worth is low brotha. And just cause you see them work at ‘lowly’ retail, don’t assume thats all they are doing. Have some respect for the work people do to live life.[/quote]
It’s like you didn’t “accurately” read one word that I said. Go back and look at what I wrote and if you’re truly reading and listening to what I’m saying you’ll see the light. Then again maybe you won’t.
#1. I didn’t say anything, ONE OF MY CO-WORKERS MADE THOSE COMMENTS. I sat there, listened to what he had to say and then I shared it with the message board. Don’t blame me for sharing WHAT SOMEBODY ELSE SAID.
#2. It has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO with me or my homeboyz digging low status black women, MY CO-WORKER IS HAPPILY MARRIED. He was just pointing out something that HE NOTICES and I TOO just so happen to notice the same thing. I never said anything about the kind of women that THIS MARRIED BROTHER DIGS or that I DIG. And for your information his wife is A HIGH-PAID SISTA. But you wouldn’t know that unless YOU ASK instead of assuming that YOU KNOW what’s what.
Get your facts straight before you go-off half-cocked. Or better yet just develop some better reading and interpretation skills. OR JUST ASK ME. I didn’t come out my face at you, don’t come out your face at me and everything’s cool.
I don’t understand the question so when you have any question next time be specific.
oh my, we’re lonely..
So I have a question for you guys. I am an Ethiopian girl, educated, earn good money, and professionally successful. I have been dating American’s for the longest time, but now I am really thinking about setteling down. I have just started talking to this habesha guy; however, I don’t understand him. Like our communication is just not great. My Amharic is not great and his English is not close to great. He is always late and one day didn’t even show. That is UNACCEPTABLE. He is accusing me of being too American it is normal in the habesha community. is this true? What do I do to fit in to the community?
Hermela, hunny, communication is the most crucial thing in a r/p. The fact that u are not communicating as intended could be a hole which will deepen as time go by. But the fact that he was late and never show up the next time should not be an excuse for being a habesha. It sickens me to hear being habesha synonymous with ‘no time concept.’ He is either one loser guy or is intimidated-or both. I say dump him!
“What do I do to fit into the community?” Perhaps work on your language skills and try to mingle with more Habeshas. One thing I can say is being late and never showing up is a sign of cowardice and ignorance so it shouldn’t be acknowledged as part of a Habesha culture.
Guys, if u are running late or will not show up, let the other person know who’s waiting for u. Show some respect. Jeez! how hard is it to call and inform?? Anyway…. I say this guy is a loser and u deserve better! Look for a man who can take u for who u are and understand u not only verbally but a person(regardless of his ethnicity) who can see your eyes and know what u want.
Only my opinion!
Thanks. You know seriously my issue isn’t so much the culture or race. I want to eventually marry an Ethiopian, but I have a hard time understanding what they expect. For example the lateness. I can’t tolerate being ready and sitting around until someone gets their head out of their ass. The fact that I didn’t wait around drove him crazy. Then when I get upset I get the “oh you are too American” American spoiled you.
I don’t need or expect much from a man. Just the fact that I have a history of dating American’s makes me hard to agree with or unrealistic person.
I have been in DC for a while, we are so may of us here, but all the habesha guys I talk to look and sound like bad rap artist or music.
This may sound ignorant and please forgive me I have yet to meet an educated Ethiopian. Well I take that back I have met a couple of educated man, but they are frustrated by the Ethiopian women just as much I am frustrated with the Ethiopian Man.
One more thing what is wrong with a women saying or asking for what she wants in bed? I mean come on this crazy. It is actually funny because just as a women asks or does something out of the norm it is almost like they just saw all the things they think I did with the American on my face.
OK I AM DONE VENTING.
Okey ..Hermela ,good points and I totaly understand your furstration…
Things I hate from Habesha guys …I am talking in general so …this doesn’t apply to all but most I have met have ;
1…No depth and lack of interst to discover issues
2…No sense of Adventure
3…Not open in relationships ..would shoot himself than telling you how he really feels
4…Not straight forwared …they circle instead of saying wht they want
5…and at times no sense of humour …
6..oh not to froget …soooooooooo..Gender in-sensetive
7…The majority are out of shape ..either really skinny …or really over weight.
Things I like about them
1…If they say it finally(the feeling ) it must be for real.
2…If they are serious about you ,they would die for you.
3…they are trust worthy as compared to men of other origns
Hermela it doesnt matter where he is from, if he cant stick to time keeping if he is habitually late or does a Houdini it probably means he is unreliable in other things too,.
I sometime find that small things like time keeping, keeping promises even small promises, little things like that will be indicative of someone’s personality,and how considerate they might be and how sensitive they are to the needs of others around them ,ie you and others most importantly it will also show you their manners and being late all the time is rude, not bothering to show up even ruder or as you said unnaceptable, you could tell him or you could do what he does, be late or dissapear yourself, sometimes when people behaviour is mirrored back to them they get it in a way they dont when you are telling them about their behaviour.Good luck with it..
Well ok all of the things you mentioned I completely agree, but man from other origins are trust worthy as well. It is almost like most people have the misconception of American man will hurt you. Any man can hurt you. In a relationship you are as responsible as he for making it work thus why I am on this blog. I just want to understand him. He was late once and stood me up once. I have never been stood up or been delayed so to speak and I am really offended.
My friends and family are really excited about this guy. Granted he is nice and very sweet, Please don’t get me wrong. He is very nice and respectful. He treats me like a princess, but when we try to have a conversation it almost sounds like listening to a bad radio. I speak broken Amharic and he speaks broken English. I am some what at fault as well. I am a bit spoiled in general. I expect the door to be opened for me, chair pulled for me, and given the option on what I want to do. My expectations are a tad bit high.
Confused,
Hermela
Hermela,
Be honest with yourself. Do you see this man as your equal partner? Just because your family is excited about this guy, don’t commit yourself in relationship. Also be realistic. You can’t have everything your way. What is the most important thing for you? If someone opening the door for you and pulling a chair for you is so important, then they find someone who can do that for you. you need to be realistic with your expectation.
Wow!! Point taken. Maybe I just need to get my priorities straight.
Hermela, I am going to be stright forward with you I have always wanted a Ethiopian women that is not aftred to ask what she wants in a bed, and I have been looking, Somtimes I even had to pull out toys so they could show me what the want. If you want to tell me what you want you are my type of girl. Since you have a profesinal life, and I am broke if you send me some money in the mail I would really apriciate it.
Hermela, I feel you on the lack of single , educated, smart, ambitious, confident, Ethiopian men who are in good physical shape.
[quote comment="127800"]Hermela, I am going to be stright forward with you I have always wanted a Ethiopian women that is not aftred to ask what she wants in a bed, and I have been looking, Somtimes I even had to pull out toys so they could show me what the want. If you want to tell me what you want you are my type of girl. Since you have a profesinal life, and I am broke if you send me some money in the mail I would really apriciate it.[/quote]
Sorry to say but you are an IDIOT. As you may have noticed I am a busy and sophisticated women and don’t have time for DUMB.
Hermela,
I would just say not to limit yourself, god doesn’t place a particular ethnicity, tribe or country of origin or religion on love.
[quote comment="128080"][quote comment="127800"]Hermela, I am going to be stright forward with you I have always wanted a Ethiopian women that is not aftred to ask what she wants in a bed, and I have been looking, Somtimes I even had to pull out toys so they could show me what the want. If you want to tell me what you want you are my type of girl. Since you have a profesinal life, and I am broke if you send me some money in the mail I would really apriciate it.[/quote]
Sorry to say but you are an IDIOT. As you may have noticed I am a busy and sophisticated women and don’t have time for DUMB.[/quote]
Hermela,, this is the respond i thought when i read his comment….
My advice for you on your matter is if you love the guy (if you really love him..) dont rush on decision. Try to see things from different perspective and dont get too emotional everytime he is late or something……(this days most our guys are kinda lost so try to be clam and teach him the right path..) if not.. take your step…..(it is not eazy but remember you love him….
Denkem sophisticated and profeshinal, you probalby work at a nursing home. Is that your Idea of profeshinal life.
[quote comment="128153"][quote comment="128080"][quote comment="127800"]Hermela, I am going to be stright forward with you I have always wanted a Ethiopian women that is not aftred to ask what she wants in a bed, and I have been looking, Somtimes I even had to pull out toys so they could show me what the want. If you want to tell me what you want you are my type of girl. Since you have a profesinal life, and I am broke if you send me some money in the mail I would really apriciate it.[/quote]
Sorry to say but you are an IDIOT. As you may have noticed I am a busy and sophisticated women and don’t have time for DUMB.[/quote]
Hermela,, this is the respond i thought when i read his comment….
My advice for you on your matter is if you love the guy (if you really love him..) dont rush on decision. Try to see things from different perspective and dont get too emotional everytime he is late or something……(this days most our guys are kinda lost so try to be clam and teach him the right path..) if not.. take your step…..(it is not eazy but remember you love him….[/quote]
BinB, Working in nursing home is a job and professional as well. Those who work in nursing home have patience and good heart so please stop talking down to them. Asking money for sex is not it makes you a Gigolo. Maybe you should try getting a job. Please stop waisting my time.
[quote comment="128381"]BinB, Working in nursing home is a job and professional as well. Those who work in nursing home have patience and good heart so please stop talking down to them. Asking money for sex is not it makes you a Gigolo. Maybe you should try getting a job. Please stop waisting my time.[/quote]
Sorry to say but you are an IDIOT. As you may have noticed I am a busy and sophisticated women and don’t have time for DUMB
now you want to be all sentimental, you was the one who was looking down at your bf, becase he couldn’t speak English very well, talking about I am profesinal and sophisticated, only get along with white guys. calling me Dumb and Idiot, I was not talking down at the people that work at nursing home. I just said you sound like them becase of the way you talk. And don’t try to tell me that they are doing what they do becase they have good heart. Most of them have parents and grand parents back home whom they left behind and are not taking care of them. If that was your idea of what it means to be a profesinal then you are not a profesinal, a profesinal is someone like a a pilot, doctor, lawyer, and so on I don’t think you are any of them. What do you do for living, did you even make more than 20,000 a year, I don’t think so.
[quote comment="128381"]BinB, Working in nursing home is a job and professional as well. Those who work in nursing home have patience and good heart so please stop talking down to them. Asking money for sex is not it makes you a Gigolo. Maybe you should try getting a job. Please stop waisting my time.[/quote]
Beside, I never said will have sex with you if you give me money. You said Ethipian guys don’t like it when I tell them what I want in bed, and all I was trying to say was that I am Ethiopian and I would love for a Ethipian women to ask me for what she wants in bed, and that is all that I was tring to say, but all the sudden you want to call me a ‘Gigolo’. And I never said I don’t have a job either. I have two jobs. I just have people I need to takecare of that takes money, casuing me to be broke at all times. And I said was I am broke, not I don’t have a job. Get your mind stright and stop reading between the line, I am talking about reall life and you are talking about hollywood life.
whats wrong with gurage people?
[quote comment="128797"]whats wrong with gurage people?[/quote]
Nothing wrong with gurage people, they are people just like everybody else, I know that becase I am one of them.
BiniB
What ever you wrote up to 268 is ,to say the least,non-sense.
Stop distoring facts and read before you write.
Please don’t respond to this
there is always someone here in bernos makes my day perfect( winta is one of them for today….271…
watch the dude will respond to your comment..lol
[quote comment="131282"]there is always someone here in bernos makes my day perfect( winta is one of them for today….271…
watch the dude will respond to your comment..lol[/quote]
Just to let you know I have aready read it long time ago, and I have not responded to it yet, Even though I want too.
hey guys, i know you always complain about ethiopian girls being shy and gidirdir. to begin with, the guys are afraid of being rejected and i think that is why they don’t try to take a chance. Guys it is OK to be rejected just try. EYAMARACHU KEMIKER!!!!
The problem is not being rejected, with most other races you know if you are going to have sex with her or not in less than a month of knowing her, but with Ethiopians try years. “Frostrating men. They don’t know how to say yes or no right from the get go.
good points and keep them progress
wore beza
[quote comment="132641"]wore beza[/quote]
And that is what a typical habesha girl would say living in the states, when u start talking to her about sex, Were Beza, beka, atbalgi, sinesirat yaz, the funiest part is the once in Ethiopia don’t act like that, they know how to give love and receive love. Enebada sitlachew eshi new yemilut.
So how was that trip to Abesha land D.C.Ethio Curious? Did you find the wife?
Yes, I did find a wife, now that I am back in the states I am having second toughts about if I want to process for her or not. What I actually realized is that life is not about finding a girl, it’s about finding yourself. You have to know what you want from a girl, and what you want out off life. If you find yourself then you know who to ask out and who not to ask out. By finding yourself I mean do you want to get married, do you want to share your life with a women, or you just want to have sex with her again and again and again, until she decides he is not going to get married to me and leaves you. Basicly want do you want, Marrage, sex, kids, or sex, kids, marrage, or just sex, no kids no marrage. And this could come at a diffrent order. What do you want, Some girls are stubern becase of the things that happened to them in the past, they may not share their past with you, but they have been hurt a lot. They get pregnet and their boyfriend leaves them, they have to have an abortion, they had to raise a child on their owen. And it may not have happed to them but they see it happen to others. So it’s really not about what you say, it’s about what you do, and what you have and what kind of security you could give them, in terms of what you role would be in their life after they get pregnat. So find yourself first, what do you want?
Bravo for discovering yourself, but why did you have to drag another person and her family into this labyrinth? Hopefully you’ve done the right thing by letting her know your thoughts and intentions, and doubts.
BiniB
I don’t want to be provocative or anything …Like readign your last comment ..for real ,I just can feel the arrogance in it. I mean even Chris Columbus wouldn’t be this proud of being able to process a green crad or whatever .
Point to be taken , unless you stop thinking that ppl are coming(intersted in) to you looking for something you would end up alone. Don’t consider yourself as previledged.
None of this finding yourself Crap. Just find someone who has closer interst to you and date ,the rest will take care of it self in due time.
All said in Peace
*dead* winta
[quote comment="134246"]Bravo for discovering yourself, but why did you have to drag another person and her family into this labyrinth? Hopefully you’ve done the right thing by letting her know your thoughts and intentions, and doubts.[/quote]
I didn’t drag her or anybady eldse into labyrinth, that is just the pass she choce. I was open about what I wanted from her, but her ego was too big to belive that I didn’t want to share my life with her, just becase she had ten other guys following her around.
[quote comment="134257"]BiniB
I don’t want to be provocative or anything …Like readign your last comment ..for real ,I just can feel the arrogance in it. I mean even Chris Columbus wouldn’t be this proud of being able to process a green crad or whatever .
Point to be taken , unless you stop thinking that ppl are coming(intersted in) to you looking for something you would end up alone. Don’t consider yourself as previledged.
None of this finding yourself Crap. Just find someone who has closer interst to you and date ,the rest will take care of it self in due time.
All said in Peace[/quote]
Come on now, wheren’t you the same person that told me not to respond to you in 271, now just becase you feel like talking am I suppossed to start responding to you. You said “all said in peace” and at the same time clam my comment is arrogance that is oxymoron. I don’t know what to tell you girl, all I could tell you is I loved beeing Ethiopian, and I still do, but when I was there I didn’t like what I saw the average prise of a sex is $10.00 Birr that is 10/9 us dollar $1.14 US Dollar. And our leader “prime minster” was geting paid, by the US. paying his soliders 700 birr a month, that is 77.77 US dollars. To go kill his neighbors, our somalian brothers and sisters.
BiniB
really i need to know what is going on over there
[quote comment="134508"][quote comment="134257"]BiniB
I saw the average prise of a sex is $10.00 Birr that is 10/9 us dollar $1.14 US Dollar.[/quote]
really? hmmm…so you must have sampled around a lot to come up with that figure. if it is true, i bet most of them got to be hiv carriers.
[quote comment="134516"]BiniB
[/quote]
Lol, that was funny, I have to give you on that one, eventhough it was me u was clowning on.
[quote comment="134639"][quote comment="134516"]BiniB
[/quote]
Lol, that was funny, I have to give you on that one, eventhough it was me u was clowning on.[/quote]
I mean about the gay comment, not the isalmo-facisits bastards. I don’t think it’s ok to kill someone becase of his religion. Or think that it’s funny to make such a joke.
BiniB–
I’m glad you saw the humor in the first part, but I was not making a joke about killing people. I respect people who respect me and I would never make light of sufferings of the innocent. My kind has had to endure centuries of death, slavery, and rape–I’m AA. It brought no joy to my heart to see my grandfather cry the time when I would ask him about his parents and his grandparents.
But since when did being an islamofacist represent a legitimate religion? Don’t get me wrong, I understand and respect true Islam, but these bastards (UIC/IC/AIAI/ONLF/AQ) in Somalia killed other Muslims for watching the fckng World Cup???? Just imagine what they would try to do to followers of Christ and members of other faiths had they continued to rule with impunity.
I do regret using this foul language and mentioning religion in the same space; particularly when I know that habesha are strong in their faiths, but you have to understand what the Islamic Courts in Somalia stand for or you will no doubt fall prey to their tyranny. I do jest about killing those who would harm the innocent. Meles only went to war with the IC/UIC. He did not kill every somali he encountered.
You and I should definetely continue this discussion over a few glasses of tej I’f you drink; perhaps in Addis. I’m thinking we can band together a go out on the streets of bole road secretly recording all those “diplomats” who encourage prostitution. We’ll start with the Arabs first because they are the ones who traffic countless ethiopian women and children to their country only to rape them or kill them for spare body parts.
BiniB
I had a friend, AA too, who served in an arab country which will go unnamed here who was kicked out of the US military for coming to the defense of an Ethiopian prostitute at a hotel. He told me he watched this arab guy slap “the s#!t” out of this beautiful Ethiopian lady for no obvious reason and nobody seemed to think twice of the incident. Having righteous indignation on his side, and a few glasses of erk and jerk in his stomach, he intervined to the whores benefit; to the arab guy’s suprise; and to his own demise. What an idiot.
Yegermal, Habesa Ye nechi ena Ye Areb mekeleja hono leker new malet new?
If you are looking for an Ethiopian To Marry try HeartofAsia. com
They have beautiful ethiopian girls desperate for american men and they are sincere. They are not into it for the green card. there have been numerous successful marriages to black men living in the USA (Including nigerians, ghanains and black americans).
None of the mariages have resulted in divorce yet but some have even had 2 or 3 kids with the men and living happily in the US.
Jib Yemaykut Hager hedo kurbet antifulign yelal. What Kind of a question is that any way, The reall question is how many of them have you left pregnat to be single moms, and still look for other victums.
Well I came across this site by accident.A lot of questions I had for many years disscussed and still going on.
Thank you for the one who brought up the subject.
I left Ethiopia when I was 10 years old for France.I have a lot of childhood memories an speack the language and write Amharic well.I have some western thinking in me but I value my culture and live according in most bc my family made sure I don’t forget my origin.
I came to America 4 years ago for college and also hoping I will meet an Ethiopian man to date bc I have never knew or dated in my entire life.It was not bc I was mean or arrogant but geographical location never aloud me to encounter this men.
I am a shy person.I open up as soon as i am confortable with anybody.I don’t talk with expressions and exlamations that many Ethiopian girls sound.( it is not bad just my difference with them)
So It was easy to have Ethiopian friends and I have one female good friend and through her I have met several Ethiopian men that would never dare to ask me out for a date.As soon as they know i left the country at a young age I think it is a turn off to them or I intimidate them God knowth what.I don’t show desparation or excitement to be asked out.
When I go out with my friends to bars and clubs the Ethiopian men staire at me but never come fwd.I will never do the first step anyways.
After few hours they are so drank .(to the point they can’t stand on their two feet right)They ask me to danse or want to get to know me,of course I am not interesred to talk with someone who is under the influence that bad.So I was furstrated with Ethio men and I gave a chance to an African American. I dated this guy for 1 year and he wanted to get married and since I was not ready fo marriage and also hope to marry an Ethiopian man one day we separated eventually.
So what is the problem? I am sure there are many Ethiopian girls who grew up abroad and value their culture and never got any attention from Ethio men.
This blog states that something is wrong we us women.Based on what I have discribed about myself is there anything wrong that I don’t know?
Sorry about my English I tried to be as clear as I could.
Perfect.. i just went out of a short time relationship n’ tryin 2 move 2 the next one.
i think u gave me a good tip so that i will//??may be aight with the next.
lol…im getting addicted to this site that I accidently stumbled in. Woy nuro…
Nolawi…I enjoy most of your posts. Very thought provoking, funny as hell.
My question… why the need to be so ethio-centric?
I am sure all the tips many of you gave on “how to date an ethiopian girl” could apply to other non-Ethiopian girls too… or am i out of the loop? I mean if it is for language sake as someone already said just play the damn Amharic or Afaan Oromo CD while you are with the other. I guess that trick only works for a few folks out there… To be honest I actually learned about it from this site… so kudos!
I think what really matters is personality. If I have chemistry with a girl I meet why should I bother whether she is Ethiopian or non-Ethiopian? Okay yaguer lijoch… take it easy. It is great to be with Ethio girls—ke-hager lij gar. But what I am saying is that we should not limit our boundaries if the chance of getting ye-hager-lij is like climbing up Mt. Kilimanjaro and down! There are very many polite, beautiful, well-educated, family oriented, and so on and so forth, non-Ethiopian women out there. We should give them a chance, too. After all the recent DNA testings are claiming that people might have migrated out of Ethiopia… so it seems we all ethiopians. Bachiru…Mircha atabzu.
My bro, when you are dreaming about the next Ethiopian girl, the right girl for you but from Kenya or Norway or China or California is probably standing right next to you but you may not realize it. So open up your heart to this girl next to you who might deserve it. And the same to you sista!
Or if you are worried that your Ethiopian gene will become scarce after sharing it with another nationality, don’t you worry… our population is kicking… almost 80 million in a couple of days.
Shegere nwe, sometimes taking risks can payoff well. If you are into a guy and you think he is also into you… taking a lead might not be a bad idea. Chances are that he might be as shy as you… maybe his reason not to ask you first. Why should a guy be always the one who knocks at the door? As much as you girls are afraid to ask us out on a date we also are afraid… You see maybe the reason why the guys sounded brave when they were tipsy or drunk (whichever you prefer) was probably Metetu Adefafirowachew… Trust me most Ethiopian guys are very shy when it comes to ‘asking a girl out.’ That includes yours truly.
For our shyness blame our cultural upbringing partially. The rest is just a lack of Wondinet, I guess… 
I remember one of my country mate in school was misunderstood for ‘liking guys’ coz he never dared ‘asking girls out.’ Anyway my advice to you is that anchim defar mehonin temari…. but first be mentally prepared for the consequences of a dramatic ‘Yes’ or for a disappointing ‘No!’ And don’t always feel bad about yourself if he says No… That does not mean you are the only one who has a problem…. in fact he might be the one with problems. Just tell yourself “life is goooood no matter what!” 
Even better he might beg for it later on with kulichlich aynoch…like the cute buchi or huro you have one home. 
Then do a little megderdering before you give in… 
That is called bidir mewetat…. 
good luck! 
Most Ethio men are insecure, inconfident, very far from sexy, the way they approach women sucks, the way they carry themselves sucks, they are too self concious, they stare till their eyes fall off, they never make a move till they get loaded, their conversation sucks…wezete…wezete…I feel nauseous when a habesha guy approaches me in a club esp. when there are men from other nationalities.
[quote comment="137647"]Most Ethio men are insecure, inconfident, very far from sexy, the way they approach women sucks, the way they carry themselves sucks, they are too self concious, they stare till their eyes fall off, they never make a move till they get loaded, their conversation sucks…wezete…wezete…I feel nauseous when a habesha guy approaches me in a club esp. when there are men from other nationalities.[/quote]
lol the same applies to you ladies. The best way I don’t think is to blame one another but to work on our weaknesses together.
You ladies think we suck in every way.
We think you are too pompous, too superficial, too shy, too dependent, and so on.
Petty generalizations!
If we gonna continue the blame game nobody will win in the end.
In general, we ethiopians tend to only point at the negative aspect of the other. We rarely find ourselves appreciating the best quality a person has first. This is not only in the silly game we call dating. But you see such a mindset everywhere starting from the politicians on stage down to the common-persons in their everyday life. We bite each other whenever we get a chance to do so (look I am repeating it here… what a hypocrite huh?
). Let’s for God’s sake learn to appreciate each other starting from the very little good things we know. We shouldn’t look down on one another. That is the worst you can do not only to your country-mate but to any human-being!
Tell the guy why he sucks… maybe next time you will see him changed. The same goes for the guy. Don’t just tell her how terrible she is. Tell her how she can improve her weaknesses!
Lack of communication is what torments our nation!
Don’t just tell her how terrible she is. Tell her how she can improve her weaknesses!
This is not spoon feeding session. If you’re old enough to date, you should also know to read between the lines and take time for self examination.
Just to add on what ticks me about our men, their consistent inability to take suggestion/constructive criticism gracefully.
[quote comment="137669"]
Don’t just tell her how terrible she is. Tell her how she can improve her weaknesses!
This is not spoon feeding session. If you’re old enough to date, you should also know to read between the lines and take time for self examination.
Just to add on what ticks me about our men, their consistent inability to take suggestion/constructive criticism gracefully.[/quote]
Tsedey,
what you said may be true, but that aint the whole story. i can say same about some habesha chicks as well. i don’t know about your experience, but it ‘ticks’ me damn much too. so, it is not like our girls are all ‘cut from same cloth’. some can’t take any suggestion or constructive criticism to heart… noooooo, not all. they would rather get mad and act so defensive to the point of fighting with you and they sound even more aweful than ever before.
btw, what is the difference b/n “half empty-bottle or a half-full bottle”?
lol sorrrrrrry @ “half empty-bottle or a half-full bottle”…. i got your point…. there is none. that was nicely put as a choice.
E
Thank you for the advice.
I don’t have the guts to ask a man out that is one of my big problem.
My cousin got married through family arranged marriage.She was not offended by it.She said it is the best bc it has less work at knowing the person.
I am not that in harry to know one through my family but in many cultures women don’t like that practice and yet this is working fine for most Ethiopian girls.
Do you think we need to involve our family in this matter?lol
Dawitm,
Thanks for analysing the analogy of the bottle(Pessimistic Vs Optimistic approach). Well, all am saying is, I want a habesha guy who admits he has these weaknesses and show willingness to work on them w/t pointing/diverting the issue to the opposite gender. Then, we will have a common ground to work on how to improve our skills. But plse, when ever we tell you your pbms, don’t respond back with our problems..take it, admit it and work on it.What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.So, I expect you, as a rational being, to admit and try to work on your problems. Then we can talk about our pbms. How about that??
[quote comment="137686"]Dawitm,
Thanks for analysing the analogy of the bottle(Pessimistic Vs Optimistic approach). Well, all am saying is, I want a habesha guy who admits he has these weaknesses and show willingness to work on them w/t pointing/diverting the issue to the opposite gender. Then, we will have a common ground to work on how to improve our skills. But plse, when ever we tell you your pbms, don’t respond back with our problems..take it, admit it and work on it.What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.So, I expect you, as a rational being, to admit and try to work on your problems. Then we can talk about our pbms. How about that??[/quote]
meeeeeeaw!!!! lol Tsedey, i don’t know jack what your are trying to say here. what you said above has nothing to do with what we are addressing at this point in time. I personally have no problem if a girl criticizes me on virtually anything, but i also expect her also to take my constructive criticisms without any cynicism n work on her issues.
that said, all i tried to convey to you is that you should not be genralizing that it is always the guys that are dogs. my point is that there are cases where habesha girls who do take constructive critcisms very badly. in most cases, they would rather mask it and be defensive than work on their problems. i am not saying there are no guys like what you described, but i want you to know that these guys are not alone. there are girls out there who need to work on their social skills as well. i agree with you that everyone has to work on their own little problems, but to say it is always the guys is absurd. that is my point.
A guys perspective to what I think Totit said, I can’t find the exact statement, but I hope she recalls it. (I am really sorry if the statment was made by someone else and somewhere else, sorry I dont spend my lunch break looking for it). She said she is interested in a man who provides social status and social mobility and pointed to study done on what men and women want–I have seen it–men and women bargain and negotiate beauty for money. In other words, there is a price for beauty, and their is a beauty for money. She also said women now and then make there selection differently, and that is what I want to repond to…(if I could find the qoute, I would have spared some effort…)
I think some men lose their hair and have a miserable life because of women—bare with me now, I am the bad guy here, living to my name
.It used to be women wanted a strong man because they were physically weak and only a strong man could provide shelter and protection from the wild. she says that is now obsolete. Man who can provide financial security and social mobility is the new strong man. That won’t be obsolete anytime soon, don’t count on it, because some women equally as educated with relatively decent salary still want a man who is smarter than they are, a man who makes more money than they do despite the fact he may have same level of education or they are just as capable of reaching alone the desired social status. Men who buy into that, prepare to kiss ass and labor while losing yourself just so your wife can have that nice expensive Jimmy Choo shoes to wear to that exclusive party. (where is my hair? ufff.. it’s still on my head!) 
[quote comment="137686"]Dawitm,
Thanks for analysing the analogy of the bottle(Pessimistic Vs Optimistic approach). Well, all am saying is, I want a habesha guy who admits he has these weaknesses and show willingness to work on them w/t pointing/diverting the issue to the opposite gender. Then, we will have a common ground to work on how to improve our skills. But plse, when ever we tell you your pbms, don’t respond back with our problems..take it, admit it and work on it.What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.So, I expect you, as a rational being, to admit and try to work on your problems. Then we can talk about our pbms. How about that??[/quote]
With all due respect hon, that is just a bunch of BS. If you are going to tell people how they should be, and act, you should be able to take it when they come right back at you with their own ideas on what you should be like. Anyways, who are you to tell people who they should be, and how they should act. If you dont like the way habesha men are, there are plenty other types men you can go out with.
Anon,
It is just Jimmy Choo’s baby, Show some respect
Anon
Here is what I posted under Dear Abesha Wondoch
I agree to some extent about what u said…But But I never said that I per say wanted a man that is better than I… That is practically saying we are not as good….We mostly want some one that is compatible with our way of thinking, value and to some extent upbringing…The more in common the better…
Have u considered that it can also apply to YOU guys that are after somebody just so that social mobility becomes hustle free…It is a two way road, and through out society, it has been the case for the post part…
errrr…can somebody define social mobility for me???
[quote comment="137684"]E
Do you think we need to involve our family in this matter?lol[/quote]
lol well that depends on the person. I personally do not approve of arranged marriage. I have seen ppl doing it. It has worked for some but with lots of ups and downs. It has never worked for others. And I am not even going to try it unless I am so desperate to find one for myself.
Arranged marriage could work if:
after your family members introduce you to the guy, you both then take your time to get to know each other before you tie the knot.
But if you just marry the person right away I think the experience might be a difficult one.
—
and my issue with the whole business of family involvement is that you have little privacy.
I prefer little to no family involvement when I am in a relationship. Again that is just me.
So Shegere, my short answer to your question:
Ask yourself if Arranged Marriage is really for you. Just because it works for others does not mean it will work for you. And if you are too curious, then give it a shot.
What do ya think?
For me… I am more happy to find my significant other by myself.
Thanks Totit and sorry for paraphrasing somewhat inaccurately. I tried to find what you wrote, just did not look where I should. I agree with you that women and men’s wants and needs are universal and possibly biological. But the norm is women marry up and men marry down, seem natural that way. If that is not the case, you got a blockbuster movie in the wait. I am not sure whether you were speaking in general terms or not about obtaining protection via ’social hierarchy and class distinction’. Regardless, that is a big hurdle to overcome when the woman is my equal–education and income. Reminds me of a good former friend blantly tell me how much money I should be making… so and so is making that much, why are you not, you got the brain bla bla why are you not pushing yourself. By now I may have prematurely lost my hair had I bought into that crap. Not happy that I am expected to be ambitious, bust my ass so that not only are the kids well off, but she gets her Jimmy Choo’s (happy Helen!?) so she open an exclusive door
ummm….to tseday, and other chicks out there trashing ethio dudes, unless you’ve been stuck with lowlives all your life, live in a cave, or just been dumped by an FOB you must surely know us ethiopian men are God’s gift to earth, and mother africa. I have never questioned my appeal, intelligence, strength, and God given abilities to help me in this world, and I believe my ethio brothers are holding it down world wide. To the guys out there, if ethio girls are getting stuck up, don’t waste your time find a woman that thinks your God’s gift to mankind, I guarantee you’ll find someone that can satisfy all your needs and truly love you. There are a alot of other cultures/peoples out there that appreciate our values, history, culture, and personality, stick to those ladies that do that. Don’t bother with the hoodrats who want a sexually aggressive, superficial thug wannabe, to satisfy their BET fantasies, or the goldi